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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be concerned?

16 replies

MonAvAnderwAll · 13/07/2017 23:14

I've never posted before but I wanted some anonymous advice and my friend suggested I post in here!

I have a friend who is Godmother to another friends child, my friend has this child every weekend and has done for about a year, i just want to know how normal this is? I know she loves being in the child's life but I have concerns that they could be taking advantage of her and using her when they can't be bothered there's been a few times, they have rang my friend and said the child is being naughty so can you have her for a few hours. I don't want to cause an argument so I haven't said anything but it's really irritating me, I also understand that I probably have no right to feel like this but it annoys me when people take advantage of nice people.

OP posts:
FishInAWetSuitAndFlippers · 13/07/2017 23:17

Its not your situation to get involved in.

Your friend is an adult and can say no, but chooses not to.

Madbum · 13/07/2017 23:19

How does your friend feel about it?

MadamePomfrey · 13/07/2017 23:21

It's not your place if your friend has said she's unhappy with the situation or feeling used then there is no issue! I have one of my goddaughters a lot another Hardly ever I always see her with her mum there is no right or wrong if everyone is happy!

WorraLiberty · 13/07/2017 23:23

What do you mean by you 'probably' have no right to feel like this?

You have no right at all, assuming they're all adults exercising their own free will.

I think it's really nice of her actually and I'm sure they appreciate it.

MonAvAnderwAll · 13/07/2017 23:26

She loves the child and loves having her around but does sometimes feel they take advantage, she's potty trained her, got her off dummy's and got her to sleep in a bed instead of a cot. It got to the point where they were ringing her asking for advice on the child. I know she won't say anything because she'll be scared they stop her from coming and Palm her off with someone else

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MonAvAnderwAll · 13/07/2017 23:29

They have her 3 days a week. Yes I know I have no right but I don't like seeing people getting took advantage of and yes they're all adults but I know my friend won't say anything

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RebornSlippy · 13/07/2017 23:29

If your friend enjoys the time with her Godchild and has no problem with it, I really don't understand what your issue is? Are you concerned for your friend or are you in some way resentful?

WorraLiberty · 13/07/2017 23:30

Well that's a bit of a drip-feed to put it mildly.

There's nothing you can do if she won't speak up for herself really.

RebornSlippy · 13/07/2017 23:30

The second your friend tells you that she does not want to mind the child as much is the moment it becomes taking advantage. Granted, it's not a situation I'd want with my own DD or my Godchildren, but horses, courses etc.

MonAvAnderwAll · 13/07/2017 23:31

Why would I be resentful? I don't have children yet. I'm genuinely concerned for my friend and the child a little bit. I think her parents should spend more time with her considering they only have her 3 times a week

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rollonthesummer · 13/07/2017 23:32

I can't imagine these free loaders would suddenly stop her seeing the child if she said no occasionally. Unless they have a long line of waiting suckers who want to do free childcare for them, I suppose?

MonAvAnderwAll · 13/07/2017 23:33

Like I said, I haven't posted before so I'm sorry for the dripfeed

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RebornSlippy · 13/07/2017 23:33

Yep, bit of a drip feed indeed. The time spent away from her parents is absolutely excessive if what you say is true. But realistically, I don't know what you can possibly do about it if both parents and friend are happy with the situation.

MonAvAnderwAll · 13/07/2017 23:35

My friends sister has her through the week but yes I think they would find someone else to take over if she said no, I forget t to mention my friend doesn't have kids of her own either.

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user1497480444 · 13/07/2017 23:36

I love my Godchildren, and have taken a vow to care for them, so am happy to be the extra parent chosen by the Mum and Dad, and who choose to accept the position.

MonAvAnderwAll · 13/07/2017 23:37

I don't either I just wanted others opinions or advice and as I suspected, I'm just being interfering

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