To think I shouldn't have to go on a work outing whilst on maternity leave

[HungryLikeAWolf]

NC but I am a regular MN poster

Currently on maternity leave for another six months. I've been told that I have to go on a work away day, as we are merging with another team and it's a "getting to know you" day. I've been told attendance is mandatory.

I won't say what it is for fear of outing but it's an activity that I really hate.

The away day is on a day I don't usually work so I would struggle to find childcare for my children. My baby is breastfed and I can't get him to take a bottle for love nor money. I haven't left him for more than a few hours yet because of this. The activity is almost an hour's drive away.

I can't claim this as a Keeping In Touch day apparently as others won't be getting time back for it, it's considered more of a social outing.

What's more, I have worked with most of the other team, I know them already!

AND I'd have to pay for my place on the activity out my own pocket. It's £25ph, not breaking the bank but when I'm on SMP I'm being vigilant and not treating myself at all so not £25 I really wanna spend.

WIBU to say I can't go? They have said it's mandatory but legally where do I stand?

Petroleum? Petrol! Stupid autocorrect

Email and say you won't be going because you are on mat leave. If they contact you again about it it is harassment and they could be in deep shit. Speak to your union if in doubt.

I would just switch it around "I would LOVE to go on this super exciting team building day but DARN I have a small baby and can't get leave him with anyone as he is exclusively breastfed. Look forward to catching the next one!" I blame my baby for not attending social events all the time

Urgh you poor love.

Reminds me of when my hubby was told he HAD to go to a team building work do several years ago. He was on afternoons, and they said 'it's ok, we will get cover for you. Someone will come from another branch!' He said 'umm ok but when do I make my hours up?' The manager just shrugged his shoulders.

Long story short, he was expecting him to pay £22.50 for the meal, and also lose £80 for the shift he was missing! In addition to the travel there. (£15 in a taxi if he had wanted a drink.) And drinks!

He said he wouldn't do it as he is NOT losing his day's pay, and his boss threatened him with a warning (what for I don't know!) And he said 'do your fucking worst! You are not taking my shift off me and I am NOT coming!'

He won. The manager did fuck-all, and he didn't go to the meal.

You don't need to go OP. If they are insistent. Say you will go, then text the boss an hour before saying you have the shits! 😂😂😂

Outrageous! Hope you can tell them to do one.

They can't force any staff to go to an event that they have to pay for especially out of work time. Never mind someone on maternity leave!

Just politely decline explaining you can't leave the baby and you are unable to attend any work events during mat leave. They should leave you alone after that.

Say you will come but you need to bring the baby as he is exclusively breastfed. Ask for them to arrange and pay for a suitable place for you to feed your baby, provide childcare on site while you participate in the team building activity and carry out a risk assessment for bringing baby. Or, you could just say no.

They shouldn't even be contacting you on maternity leave! Tell them to do one.

Don't make conditions around accommodating the baby just in case they try to meet them. The reason you are not going is because you are on maternity leave and your employer needs to realise that their behaviour is wrong.

ACAS will also tell you that you don't have to go but they can't help you to stand up to your employer. What is your company like to work for usually?

Legally they cannot ask you to attend and therefore do not know how to behave and aren't aware of their responsibilities while you are on maternity leave.

Please join a union and do it now. I predict trouble when you return to work.

Agree you need to join a union if they've got form for this behaviour

Also, you're not under pressure to check email on maternity leave are you? That's another no no! You have the right to be kept informed of key business updates, that is required, but that's not the same as them hassling you

Agree with the others. Of course they can't make you go. They can offer you an invitation but no more. I hope you are in a union - if not, join one.