AIBU to be furious with my partner for using me to scare children?!

[Leona76]

My partner's brother just moved into same town as we live in; that's fine. He has young family with twins. They moved from south but originally they're from Spain.
Now my partner, who likes to spend time with his brother and his family and who is more familiar with the children, often use me as a 'Scary Mary' for the children! Although he talks to them in Spanish I know what he is saying. It's always like "...do this or I'll call her..." and the children are genuinely terrified of me! They just look at me but they're scared of me; if I'm trying to hold them or just to stretch my arms towards them they'll start to cry!! It's horrible for me.
I've challenged my partner about it and he said "it's funny". He is always trying to make me look like a bully and the worst person in the world in front of his family. AIBU to be ...saddened by this?

And you are with this man because...?

Seriously Leona, you deserve so much better than being treated like this.

Have you considered that his behaviour could be considered abusive?

I certainly find it inacceptable and would not put up with it. He obviously doesn't like you much, why are you in a relationship with him?

"Scary Mary"

How long has this been going on OP? I could see how it could possibly be a joke for about 5 minutes, but if he knows it's upsetting you I don't know why he would persist.

What does he get out if this?

I've challenged my partner about it and he said "it's funny". He is always trying to make me look like a bully and the worst person in the world in front of his family. AIBU to be ...saddened by this?

It's hard to believe that your partner can be so very, very wrong in just this one aspect of your relationship and yet a total fucking prince in all others.

So come on, what else does he do that's a bit off piste?

...because we've a child together, married for 12 years, house, car, savings, all together... I'm from broken home and I promised to myself that I wouldn't do what my mother did- divorce- so I waited for the right person till I was 30, I thought that he was the one...

There are worse things you can do to a child than divorce their father. You can stay in an abusive marriage, for one. My mum did this "for the children". The children were, and are not, grateful for her sacrifice although one of them (me) has forgiven her.

I'm from broken home and I promised to myself that I wouldn't do what my mother did- divorce

There are worse things than divorce, Leona.

I'm from a broken home too and endlessly thankful as it meant I didn't have to live with my father after the age of 13.

Presumably you've reiterated to your dear husband that you don't agree his behaviour is "funny" and that you find it very hurtful?

It sounds like he's trying to isolate you within his family.

He sounds a right twat to be honest.

A broken home with one parent is probably healthier and stable than a Mom and Dad who stay together and the Dad is allowed to belittle Mom at every opportunity.

People often forget that some relationships where you stay together for the children actually create a more damaging environment than splitting up does.

I came from a happy stable home environment and it took me four years longer than it should have to finally file for divorce because I was afraid of being the first to fail at a marriage in my family (and disappointing my parents). The only regret I have now is that I let that fear be what kept me in a very unhappy situation for four years longer than I should have been.

Seriously what your "D"P is doing is extremely passive aggressive and the actions of someone who seems to enjoy making others dislike or fear you! Red flag behaviour IMO!

You can stay married to someone whilst also bollocking them into shape you know. The choices aren't just divorce or doormat!