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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To come back live in the UK whilst being pregnant and European without residency permit

67 replies

tilda0 · 13/07/2017 12:10

We have lived around 9 years in the UK. We left for 2,5 years and we would like to come back. I don't like where we live now (DH homeland) and I miss the UK. I'm not sure whether we would get a residency permit as we left for 2.5 years. Oh, and I'm in my first semester.
Is it mad?
Remainders replies only please 😉

OP posts:
KathArtic · 14/07/2017 14:02

I'm not saying the OP shouldn't come to the UK but her post is vague and implies she has other motives for coming here.

I'm not sure why the OP would ask here, surely Gov.uk will give the information required.

Lostwithinthehills · 14/07/2017 14:17

Is Drinkingtea right op? You live in a wealthy Western European country with an excellent health system, which is a great place to bring up children? The locals must be extraordinarily unfriendly to foreigners to make you want to live in the U.K. during Brexit, especially as you said you didn't welcome contributions from leave voters.

Headofthehive55 · 14/07/2017 15:02

Patients get charged later - being registered is no guarantee of treatments on the NHS. The are whole departments in hospitals that deal with and bill overseas patients as they are known. The whole system has tightened up.

drinkingtea · 14/07/2017 16:08

I've heard people with international families talk about their "heart's home" and heart's language... I suspect that Tilda is unhappy and lonely and nostalgic for a period of her life when she belonged and felt connected - that happened to be the 9 years she spent in the UK, perhaps in her "work hard, play hard" child free, possibly single initially, 20s in London...

Life as a mum to a baby, possibly further away from the bustle of the city to afford 2 bedrooms on be wage, with old friends having either moved on or still being in the work hard, party hard mood so not that interested in spending time with someone constrained by Parenthood, with all the termoil and uncertainty and increased xenophobia of Brexit might be a bitter disappointment.

I suspectTilda is posting as a way of daydreaming about an idealised alternative life because where she is people tend to be very private and undemonstrative and a bit cold, and Tilda likes light and life and social interaction...

I really understand why she just isn't a good fit for the country she is in now despite it being a fantastic place to have an raise children on paper... I just really wonder why she isn't considering her home country, and think the UK would be a mistake and she'd end up even sadder, and financially worse off, and less secure in every way, than she is now...

user1490465531 · 14/07/2017 16:28

Drinking tea you don't have a lot of positive comments about the UK do you?

StoatofDisarray · 14/07/2017 16:32

I dunno, user, drinkingtea's post seems like a pretty equitable assessment of what the OP's life in London might be like, if compared to her glory years as a young singleton.

drinkingtea · 14/07/2017 16:39

Sorry user - there are lots of great things about the UK, but I don't think Tilda needs reminding, she has her rose tinted glasses on already!

I think the UK is the victim of bigging itself up too much - one minute the NHS is at the brink of collapse, teachers are leaving in droves, academies are destroying the education system, the police are cut to the bone, the benefits system is at breaking point, infrastructure is overwhelmed... The next the NHS and British education and law and order are the best in the world, the UK is perfect...

Obviously the truth is somewhere in the middle, but crowing about how wonderful the UK is and then saying parsimoniously "but it's only for us, no more room at the inn" seems both dishonest and unpleasant...

Better to just remove the rose tinted glasses surely? Tilda probably wouldn't be objectively in her optimal position if she chose to move to the UK - it's an emotional choice not a sensible one.

Headofthehive55 · 14/07/2017 22:24

Hmm. People choose on different things tea.
And a sensible place is not sensible always for others.
I couldn't contemplate living anywhere where it was often cold. Or hot.

drinkingtea · 15/07/2017 09:27

Yes that's true Head

tilda0 · 16/07/2017 17:18

drinkingtea Thanks so much for your support and for informing the posters who are suspicious of my motivations. Lost and Kath I don't want to move back for NHS, where I live there is free healthcare and the longest maternity leave on the planet!

where she is people tend to be very private and undemonstrative and a bit cold, and Tilda likes light and life and social interaction... drinkingtea knows it all.

As drinkingtea (aka sherlock holmes ;) ) explained I don't feel as ease where I live. Not only that the winter is endless, people aren't so keen on socialising, culture is limited and travelling is expensive. That means I even have to choose between seeing my family, my friends or a warm beach.

drinkingtea Thanks for all your advices and I am reading carefully. DH would move again - he isn't completely happy with his homeland but he fits better than me. I suppose I could change my mind once I have a baby and I could embrace this place - but it's also a risk that I still wouldn't like the place and feel even more isolated.
It might be madness to move back to Britain if we aren't able to get the rights we used to have and end up moving again...my DH would be damaged!
I am nostalgic of the cultural access I had in London. It also was easy to getaway and see friends and family. I wouldn't move back to central London for that, but I would move to the coast.

it's an emotional choice not a sensible one. drinkingtea, yesStar

And a sensible place is not sensible always for others. Headofthehive55 so true. And I do feel guilty for not liking where I am.

As for the idea to move to my homeland, drinkingtea, I wish I knew my country better! I basically know my hometown and the capital best which aren't options. I can not offer a better deal than the one my DH is offering us (housing).
Job wise it's not easy as my DH doesn't speak my language. But I contemplate sometimes that I might be homesick and that my wish to come back to the UK is actually a mascarade I play to myself. I have never felt homesick in Britain.

OP posts:
tilda0 · 16/07/2017 17:19

drinkingtea Headofthehive55 ... kath lost

OP posts:
tilda0 · 19/07/2017 14:07

You might be right @drinkingtea I am nostalgic for a period of my life. Here I don't have friends and the locals are so reserved and short of discussion. People have their network and friends and not willing to expand. So I am def disappointed for the lifestyle I have.

OP posts:
TuckingFaxman · 19/07/2017 14:22

Immigration solicitor here. Some of the things people have said in this thread are wrong.

As an EEA national, you only have the right to live in the UK, as opposed to visit, if you're a qualified person or if you have permanent residence.

Qualified person means you're doing one of the following:

  • working
  • jobseeking
  • studying
  • self employment
  • self sufficiency

Or you can be the family member of someone who is, so eg if your DH is an EEA national and he's working, you can legally be here as his dependant. But not if he's British or non-EEA.

There is a LOT of misinformation about this. people think you can just go and live anywhere in the EU you want and do whatever, but that's technically not true. In practice that is what the UK has allowed people to do, in many cases, but you don't have a right under EU law.

It doesn't actually matter whether you have a residency permit (not quite the right name, they're called registration certificates) or not. Those are just an admin thing. They're confirmation of a right you have. You could have one confirming you're a qualified person, they last 5 years, but you could have stopped being a qualified person despite having the documentation. This is all very poorly understood by the general public, and also the Home Office in fairness.

However, once a person has permanent residence, this all stops applying. You can come and go as you wish. You only lose permanent residence if you have been outside the UK for 2 years. If you come back in, even for one day, that restarts the clock. You need to find out if you acquired permanent residence when you last lived in the UK.

There is also the issue of being normally resident in the UK and thus entitled to the NHS. That doesn't have anything to do with nationality. A Brit who's just come back home after 5 years in Australia won't be, a Pole who's been here working for 12 months will. If you're not considered normally resident, you won't be stopped from receiving maternity care (they can't) but they can charge you for it.

You need to consult an immigration lawyer for advice on your position, and about how to make yourself a qualified person if you don't still have PR. The fact that you're pregnant doesn't mean you can't be one.

If you do have PR, any kid you have in the UK is British, but you might have some difficulty proving that. Sort it out sooner rather than later.

TuckingFaxman · 19/07/2017 14:23

Habitual residence not normal residence. I get that wrong every fucking time.

tilda0 · 19/07/2017 16:30

@TuckingFaxman thanks so much for making it all clear!StarStarStar
Can I ask you a question privately?

OP posts:
HookandSwan · 19/07/2017 18:08

Well I'm a brexiter but I'm pretty sure if your an eu citizen your entitled to enter this country and live here...

TuckingFaxman · 19/07/2017 18:14

She's entitled to enter. In order to be legally entitled to live here, she'd need to be a qualified person, dependant of one or have permanent residence. Not enough to simply be Austrian or whatever and just settle down without falling into any of those categories.

In practice people have often been able to remain without being any of those things, but it can't be assumed.

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