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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To still not be over this?

20 replies

pudding24 · 12/07/2017 22:41

About 6 months ago I left my handbrake off and my car rolled into another car.

Ever since then I've become over-paranoid, when I park up I check several times I've put the handbrake on. When I lock the car I peer in and check again. As I walk away from the car I'm looking back, checking it's not moving. Sometimes after I've disappeared from view, I've been known to have to go back and check again.

I'm scared I'm developing obsessive-compulsive tendencies around it (have had OCD in the past).

How can I get over this??

OP posts:

OwlinaTree · 12/07/2017 22:44

You put the hand brake on and sing loudly 'I'm putting the handbrake on now!!!' sing as loudly and dramatically as you can.

You will then remember that you have done it.

Original poster

pudding24 · 12/07/2017 22:44

Haha Owlina that's actually not a bad idea

OP posts:

Sittingintheshade · 12/07/2017 22:45

Owlina I do this with turning oven/hair straightener off when I'm leaving the house and it totally works!

Esmereldafish · 12/07/2017 22:46

I do this too! Have been known to take a picture on my phone of my handbrake just to reassure myself

OwlinaTree · 12/07/2017 22:47

I do it when turning off iron/straightners and locking front door. Does work for me!

Justhadmyhaircut · 12/07/2017 22:48

Pudding make sure the windows are closed before any singing commences won't you??

Toniandgit · 12/07/2017 22:49

Do you leave it in gear and turn the steering wheel too? So that if it rolls it rolls sideways and not all the way down the road?

Bluesrunthegame · 12/07/2017 22:49

There is something very upsetting about car mishaps. I had an incident on a motorway a while ago (not my fault, I hasten to say) and am now very tense when I drive and am more nervous when I cross the road as a pedestrian.

My Mum had CBT for driving phobia after her car was written off when someone reversed into it. The incident was not her fault but she became very reluctant to drive. Eventually she realised her fear was affecting over her life as there is very little public transport where she lives, so she saw her GP. She got CBT over the phone and it really helped. It took maybe 6 months to get back to driving with confidence, but she is now fine.

So if you are concerned, see your GP as there is help out there.

Good luck!

seasonschooner · 12/07/2017 22:52

I do this for fear of leaving the handbrake off! I have bloody nightmares about leaving the handbrake off. You have just reminded me that people can and do leave the handbrake off!

SabineUndine · 12/07/2017 22:58

It sounds like anxiety.

Original poster

pudding24 · 12/07/2017 23:25

Thanks all, I do leave it in gear, and did, but stupidly I didn't on that day. So I always make sure to do that now too.

Just drove home and tried to be really conscious of putting the handbrake on, and I do think I walked away with a bit less anxiety. Thanks all

OP posts:

thefutureisfemale · 12/07/2017 23:27

My sister did this too

yourerubberimglue · 13/07/2017 00:01

I knock on my car logo 5 times so I know I've locked it

NerdyBird · 13/07/2017 00:09

Saying stuff out loud really helps, I do it for locking the door, checking the windows are closed etc. Maybe not every day but definitely if we are away overnight or for a few days. Our car has automatic handbrake, it's brilliant! Recently had to have a courtesy car while ours was fixed and the faff of having to put the handbrake on or off was quite irritating. First world problem I know.

Namechangetempissue · 13/07/2017 00:17

I do this. I have diagnosed OCD and it is one of my obsessions. I've taken half an hour to leave the car before and go back repeatedly some days. I also found taking a photo helped hugely.

bbpp · 13/07/2017 00:40

I've done the same as you! I quit driving lessons

However, I used to have HUGE anxiety about locking the door on a night, I'd be running up and down stairs/turning back on myself over and over again. As previous posters have suggested, saying out loud "I am locking the door, the door is locked." calmed me greatly. I could, of course, remember doing that! I also think it would help you.

Seren85 · 13/07/2017 01:00

I almost burnt my house down with a curling wand. I still to this day have no idea why I asked DH to drive home to check it was off (I really did think it would be). I now say something silly whenever I switch off an item like that. Something different each time so I can't be confusing myself. Sounds daft but "monkey conga" has kept me on a train to an important work meeting before now. I'd definitely try similar.

Ontheboardwalk · 13/07/2017 01:23

I also do an 'off, off, off, locked, locked' song in the house.

I've never left my handbrake off but am paranoid about it. I very often do the pretend pat down of my pockets in the car park and walk back to my car to double check it's on to get something I've forgotten out of the car. I think I need a car song

Aquamarine1029 · 13/07/2017 03:13

I say get a cheap costume necklace with pretty beads. Keep it in the cup holder, and every time you set the brake, hang the beads on the rearview mirror. When you get back in the car, take them down.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 13/07/2017 03:25

Definitely sounds like the incident has triggered symptoms of OCD. You obsess over whether the handbrake is on and you compulsively check, check, re check, then end up going back sometimes to check some more.
Only a mental health professional can actually diagnose you with OCD, but it certainly sounds like an event had triggered OCD tendencies. I've suffered for the last 22 years with it, and it's only gotten worse as it wasn't until a decade after developing it i was actually diagnosed.
Even though it might only be very mild right now, i would absolutely recommend talking to your GP, and possibly accessing some psychological treatment. Better to treat it now when it's something small, than before it has the potential to snowball.

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