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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Perfect house or outstanding comp? WWYD

57 replies

BennyOfTheGlen · 12/07/2017 20:15

We need to move as we've just had dc3 and need more space. The plan was to move to a different area (same County, 20 mins away) which has the best Comp for miles. Seriously top notch, and has been for years. Some of the best GCSE results in the UK, year after year. Very well to do area, very academic school, brilliant sporting facilities. Twice annual trips for dc to amazing places, which we could afford to send them on. Lots of great extra curricular opportunities run by the school. Long running history of Year 13's heading to Oxbridge. The type of school I would have loved to have the opportunity to go to.

As you'd expect house prices in the catchment are £££. We've found a house in the catchment for our budget which would be fine for us. 3 big bedrooms (we have 3 dc so 2 would share) lounge, dining room, kitchen, nice garden. It would do fine.

The area we live now is ok...nice bits bordering areas of severe deprivation/poverty. But generally a decent place to live. The comp is ok but 'just' ok. Sky high % of FSM meaning the opportunities and trips offered by the school are obviously much more limited due to cost.

Today we viewed a house in our area which we've never done before as were planning on the area with the best school. Same amount as the other house we viewed but we have had an eye opener as to just how much extra our budget will get us here.

The house here is our dream house. Huge by comparison...3 floors, 5 beds (all doubles). Two bathrooms plus ensuite and small dressing room to master. 2 receptions, plus dining room plus conservatory. Original features everywhere and set back from the road via private lane to 3 properties. Lovely gardens front and back...I'd never dreamed our budget would buy us something like it.

It's thrown a major spanner in the works and now we don't know what to do (first world problem I know). Go for the amazing house but poorer school? Or the amazing school and only adequate house.

WWYD?

OP posts:
AuntieStella · 13/07/2017 11:49

'when we possible have three hulking teenagers living at home'

I know you want to think your DC will be there forever, but by the time your recently arrived DC3 is a teen, you eldest will be about 22 and may well have left home.

As you need to make your secondary application so soon, I would say go for the house near the school that you want. Even though right now there's no prospect of a second move, who knows what the future might hold?

soupey1 · 13/07/2017 11:50

School but please bear in mind that schools can change if a head changes. We were in an area with a great comp but the head left and two poor headteachers later the school had gone very downhill and only now with yet another head is it picking up[.

corythatwas · 13/07/2017 11:57

Apart from soupey's sensible warning about potential for change, also remember that there isn't always an objective "best" or "worst"; it's about the best fit for your actual children. What are they like? Would they thrive at the very academic school or does the other school have features which might suit them better?

Didiusfalco · 13/07/2017 11:57

School, definitely. The compromise you're making with the house doesn't sound that bad - it's not like the options are a massive house or a little two bed. Three doubles is a good sized house.

EssieTregowan · 13/07/2017 12:05

I would go for the house.

Outcomes for children have much more to do with parental support than 'outstanding' schools. Also individual teachers.

Dd is at a consistently Ofsted outstanding girls' school. People move here specifically for it, and there is a huge percentage of girls from private primaries. It's not going to make DD an oxbridge candidate though. It's a great school but it's not a magic bullet.

The flip side is that ds is at the merely 'good' boys school and absolutely flying in every subject.

We are also a family of five and we were MISERABLE in a three bed. Being cramped impacted everything, including education as they had no room to study.

We now have our dream house, four big doubles, a study, plenty of space for everyone, DH even has a music room so we're not all disturbed by his constant practising (he's very very good but there's only so much scales and the same few bars repeated that I can take...).

This move was the best thing we ever did, for everyone.

TheLiltingLies · 13/07/2017 12:15

I would go for the schoool. We moved from a struggling area to a more affluent area and it was the right decision for us. Smaller house but better opportunities for all of us. It has absolutely been the right choice for us. And yes, the teenagers won't be at home for ever

flownthecoopkiwi · 13/07/2017 12:23

School and better area because it will hold and increase value better than bigger one in worse area. We moved to get children into outstanding academy but luckily two villages had houses for sale both that feed kids into the school. Got bigger house in lovely house but cheaper as slightly less commutable to london. Is there a third option for you? Zoned for school but better value location?

AnnetteCurtains · 13/07/2017 12:31

I'd go with the house

Mumski45 · 13/07/2017 12:33

Definitely go for the school - it sounds amazing.

Bobbybobbins · 13/07/2017 12:35

I would go for the school.

Peachesandcream15 · 13/07/2017 12:35

School.

Once all the children are in, you can always move. And a house in a good catchment area will always sell.

OliviaBenson · 13/07/2017 12:36

How old are your kids and which school would better meet their needs? Just because a school is outstanding won't necessarily mean it's a good fit for your children. I know if outstanding schools that are incredibly academically focussed which isn't always great if you are more average, or if there are any SEN.

You say you have just had your third child so comp is waaaay off and lots can change.

stayathomegardener · 13/07/2017 12:38

Can you buy smaller house in catchment and when youngest son gets a place move and drive the school run?

stayathomegardener · 13/07/2017 12:38

X post peaches.

LiveLifeWithPassion · 13/07/2017 12:42

I would go for the school.
You can move again later Or extend.

MatildaTheCat · 13/07/2017 12:42

OP has a child nearing secondary age so it does matter. Go with the school. You think now you won't be able to extend but finances do tend to improve gradually. You may be able to do a loft, back extension or a garden room at some stage. Chances are the uplift on value will be greater in the better area, too.

A lovely house whilst knowing it has cost your DC valuable life chances may leave a bitter taste in your mouth. Stop looking locally, there's a good reason why the property is cheaper.

lovetowasteitagain · 13/07/2017 12:42

Get into the school, move later. If it's only 20 minutes away you could move if you need more space and the kids can commute. It's love to have a big house and big gardens but I'd rather have the luxury of my kids going into a wonderful school environment than having space we don't really need.

StopShoutingAtYourBrother · 13/07/2017 12:45

School

EssentialHummus · 13/07/2017 12:46

School for me too. We've just done this - large flat in catchment for the great local schools, as opposed to house in catchment for "currently iffy but it'll probably be good in five years" school. It's hard to swallow but I think the right decision.

LadyinCement · 13/07/2017 12:49

Yep, school. And also think of, ahem, the friends your dc will have. As children get older they are increasingly influenced by their peers.

Apricotsandjaminspring · 13/07/2017 12:51

Going against grain here. If school near nice house is good/ ok just not excellent I'd choose house.

I went to a really good school and got bullied v. Badly and totally flunked my gcses. A school can only improve things so much and you being supportive will help them along lot.

Having your own room as a teenager is invaluable as well!

mrsRosaPimento · 13/07/2017 13:08

I only read your title. I moved to the catchment area of a good junior and secondary school and compromised on the house as dcs had similar sized large bedrooms. It was a move for them. That's what parents should do.

littlemissneela · 13/07/2017 13:19

I take I you have visited both schools with ds? If not, might be an idea to. Sometimes they look perfect on paper, but you get a different feeling when actually there.
For me, assuming the 'poorer' school was lovely when visiting, I would choose the house. You'll be there much longer, and the kids are only at school for such a short time.
If you have seen both schools and the really good one is all it seems, then maybe go for the smaller house with scope to extend.
I don't know if you can find out the mental health stats for the years doing GCSEs. My ed went to a very high performing school, but this had a huge mental health impact on a lot of the pupils. Sometimes the pressure to do well is too much and overrides the well being of the students.
I do know if i had found my perfect house that we could afford, I would be very very sure of not getting it, as a few years down the line you might not be able to afford it.

HipsterHunter · 13/07/2017 13:22

The school does sound amazing.

However can you look at partitioning off the biggest double room (even a room off a room) to give the children their own space?

HeteronormativeHaybales · 13/07/2017 13:22

Have you visited both schools? Got a feel for them?

I agree with what Essie says about a school not being a magic bullet and about parental support. And tbh, I'm a bit disturbed by some of the posts here talking about the friends your dc could make at the 'amazing' school, which does carry the unsaid implication of 'urgh, just keep them away from all those icky FSM kids'.

Extracurriculars are perhaps easier if they take place in school, but some of the best opportunities happen outside school settings, depending on what your kids are into.

Your dc sound quite spread out in age if you have a newborn and one in Y5. This will make space of their own quite critical as they get older, not least wrt quiet space to pursue interests or study. How old is your middle one?

I'm not saying go for the house over the school - I would find this decision as difficult as you. I'm just throwing in a few points that might argue against the majority view.

You know the bigger house is amazing. Re-view the smaller one and really try to imagine yourselves living there, in the space on a busy weekday morning, all at home on an inset day, that sort of thing.