Is friend rude for asking for a plus one?

[Weddingsweddingsweddings]

4 of my friends & their o/h's were invited to a distant relatives wedding this summer. Invites went out last year. One friend is having marital problems so accepted the invite early this year but said she would come alone. She will know lots of people at the wedding but has now asked to bring a +one but not stated who it is.

My aibu; is she rude for asking to invite someone else not on the invite & that the B&G will not know, this close to the wedding even though she has already RSVPd? Should I say something?

If the invite didn't state a +1 then yes incredibly rude

Why would you say anything? If the B and G don't want a random there, they can say so. I don't understand why this is your concern? Or do you mean she's asked you whether she should ask for a plus one?

The original invitation was for two people I assume, so she's basically looking to take someone other than the named person? I'd be ok with that if it was my wedding, but I may well be in a minority!

The invite DID say plus one. Originally the friend said she'd be coming alone but now wants a plus one after all.

Really depends on what they've been invited to. If it's just the evening reception then it probably won't do any harm. If it's wedding and/or breakfast then it's a big no.

If the original invite stated her + partner then no I don't think so. It doesn't matter who that partner is does it?

When you rsvp as 1 then that's what you should stick to, no matter what the invite says.

I don't think you should say anything just let her ask and the bride and groom can decide for themselves.

We had this with someone. Invited them plus their partner. They split up with partner and then asked to bring a plus one a bit later on.

We said no. Because we had given away the space and were up to capacity.

Turns out he married the one he asked to invite...

Well I wouldnt go to a wedding if I wasn't allowed to bring a guest.

Someone did this to me. I asked her if she wanted a +1 and she said no. Ok, final numbers sorted for the dinner etc. Then, about 4 days before my wedding she asked if she could bring a mate. I actually agreed, as I figured we'd have enough food. Then she said her mate couldn't come, telling me the day before. I am of the opinion that this was rude, because it was pointless faff. However, it's up to the B&G.

Thanks for all the replies, I think it seems about equal so far. Wedding is an all day event not just evening do. Relax it's my friend & my family member, (hard without outing myself but essentially they have been invited for me if that makes sense) so I thought maybe I should say to my friend it was a bit rude. My husband seems to think it's not rude but other invited friend agrees with me, just wanted some other views really. wobbly she did have a plus one to begin with but declined it. The guest list & table plans have been done & now she has changed her mind at the last minute.

It doesn't matter if the invite was for 2 if you then rsvp as one only. That is the number that will have been catered for. You can't add on another at the last minute!

How close to the wedding? If it's a month away I reckon it's ok.

starry this is my husbands view it doesn't matter whether she brings husband or a new guy..although they aren't separated & he isn't aware of the new guy.. does that put us friends in an awkward position?! I don't know but that is a whole other thread!!

My friend did this st our friends wedding where we were bridesmaids. She split with bf just after the invite went out, so rsvpd as her only, then she started dating two guys then assumed she could still bring a plus one. The invite was for her and her past bf, (who the couple knew well) not her and some random she just started seeing. I thought it was really rude.

If the seating plan and stuff is already done then it's bloody rude to ask now!

As the plus one was invited then she is not being unreasonable changing her mind about wanting to bring a plus one unless it's within a week of the wedding and therefore a hassle for the bride and groom.

It's rude to ask for a +1. It's especially rude so close to the wedding day.

I would understand if she didn't know anyone but if she has 6 friends going, why does she need more company?

B+G have probably had to leave off lots of people and friends they care about to fit venue & budget. Why should they squeeze in a complete stranger?

Hang on a second, she is bringing her bit on the side? The person she is having an affair with? Forget being cheeky asking for a plus one, what about being a complete bitch to her husband and putting everyone who knows them in a terrible position! I would definitely tell her to cop on

I'm getting married in a couple of months, and we've had this issue with a couple of people. Not necessarily affair related but partners we've never met.

Maybe I'm horribly practical (we don't have an issue with space) but we've basically said fine but you have to cover the cost. Theoretically we don't have a problem with whoever coming, but we're not paying £80 for them to eat and drink all day.

Actually would be interested in seeing if anyone though that option was U

I don't think she's rude to ask, especially in this strange arrangement where they're being asked 'for you' - which I don't really get, but it implies her/her partners presence isn't so important to the bride/groom as it is to you.

Incredibly rude to bring plus one if she still married and this is a clandestine relationship she's having on the side though - that's not what you do when you're going to an event that celebrates marriage!

If table plans have been done then no no no!

Are you saying that she was invited to a wedding with her husband, accepted for herself but declined for her husband, but now she wants to bring new boyfriend to this public commitment of marriage even though she hasn't split from her husband?
It's not a ticketed event, what is she thinking? !
Very rude imo.

I think it is rude to ask.

Plus I wouldn't want a random person at my wedding