Please tell me the mortifyingly embarrassing things you have done ...

[GirlOnATrainToShite]

To make me feel better.

Went for a kid free night away to have sex in peace away from 50,000 teenagers in the house for OH bday this weekend.

Sunday morning I jokingly took a photo of his cock with my phone, he laughed, I laughed and he told me to delete it I totally forgot.

Yesterday at work I was trying to find an email attachment on my phone (personal not work!) and work colleague starts helping me and she took my phone and to look then suddenly the ticker tape thing with all my recent photos appears along the bottom

I could have died.

Not helpful but . I once text my dad rather than my boyfriend (was about 17 at the time) saying I really wanted a good shag.

I have also done similar Macca

I shouldn't be allowed a phone

i popped into a shop earlier today got back to car sat down and realised it wasnt my car or my dad i was now sat next to!

I pooped myself when I had sickness diarrhoea bug . DP told his family about it and still likes to remind me of it 😂

oh op I'm sorry, I'm cringing for you.
My biggest embarrassment was standing in a pub with a group of my new boyfriend's mates that I'd just met (we weren't clicking), and I dropped my bottle of beer, which landed flat on it's bottom and sprayed a geyser of beery froth right into my face.

If they had laughed and helped me to clean up a bit I could have recovered, but they just stood open mouthed until I stopped gasping in shock slunk off to the Ladies

My dad has a key to my house incase I fall and husband is in work. Husband and I found ourselves having a nooner when my Dad walked in the house and would have brought me coffee if I hadn't yelled 'IM HAVING A NAP!' bloody quickly. He must have known because I swear he sprinted out the house.

I full frontalled my neighbour. I have no idea if it was the husband or wife

I shit in someones pocket. (as a toddler i might add)
i was 2, we were on a family holiday, and whilst being held by my aunt, managed to slip a turd out my nappy, down the leg of my pants and in to her pocket with nobody noticing.
Til several hours later, she reaches in to her pocket, and pulls out a handful of shite.
My cousin is 6 years older than me, and he has delighted in telling this story, to absolutely everyone he knows. The first time i met his girlfriend (now wife) she immediately asked "Is she the one that story was about?" I find it mortifying, as it typically would come up at big family gatherings while they were all drunk and i was sober and they'd all be laughing at me about it.

One that was actually my fault consciously though, i started having chest pain a week after starting the pill. went to GP, said stop tabs right away, if still having pains in 24 hours, go to A and E. Still getting pains, went to A and E. Got handed a gown, but was told to take off everything apart from my knickers, including bra, and socks. So i stripped, and was stood there, arms crossed over my breasts, feeling totally exposed, when she pulls back the curtain, laughs and tells me i was allowed to put the gown on, but i'd taken her word literally to take off everything but my knickers, and thought that meant i had to be wearing nothing else so the gown was for later.

😂😂

Oh god I can't tell anyone mine. It'll be in the shitty papers.

Pearly oh shit I forgot about bloody Ken from the daily fail 😱😱

When me and DH were still teenagers (18ish) I bought new underwear from Anne Summers. I knew where his spare key was and snuck into his house while he was in the shower. I stood in the landing in my underwear only for his granddad to come in to walk the dog. 7 years later his grandad had never mentioned seeing me all but naked at the top of the stairs thankfully!

Poor you OP! Read the Angela Hernandez thread, nothing you've done can be so mortifying!

I tried to jump to sit on a wall in front of a group of guys a couple of years above me at school (trying to look all cool haha)
Instead I did an impressive high jump over the wall and landed flat on my back in a puddle and they had to scoop me up out of it whilst kissing themselves laughing.

It still curls my toes

Pissing not kissing lol

@AlmostAJillSandwich

hedgehog - I need a link

Washed my extensive collection of all singing, all dancing sex toys, and tucked them on the corner of the bath to dry.

Went to work, leaving toddler with our childminder, who comes to us. Came home, noticed my toddler was freshly bathed - she'd called in some mud apparently.

Childminder said nothing. I said nothing. 🙈

Washed my extensive collection of all singing, all dancing sex toys, and tucked them on the corner of the bath to dry.

Went to work, leaving toddler with our childminder, who comes to us. Came home, noticed my toddler was freshly bathed - she'd called in some mud apparently.

Childminder said nothing. I said nothing

@AlmostAJillSandwich I don't get your second story, why would she tell you to take everything off except your knickers and then laugh when you did what she said?

Mission she was given a gown, you'd assume you were allowed to put that on...

I have no idea why WHY I said this but DH had scheduled a workman in to look at various works for a bid and they were in DSs room discussing ripping out some built-in furniture and re-doing some pipework in the adjacent bathroom in the joining wall.

I had been thinking about the space where the furniture was going to be ripped out and I wanted the flooring and skirting redone, a new pipework access panel, etc, general tidying up. So I walked in as they were discussing it and was going to ask if the workman could "jazz it up" (not a phrase that I ever say and I have no idea why I was going to say it) but instead I said "So you can jizz on this?"

Why? Why?

They were just both quiet and I walked out of the room silently.

It was mortifying.

Went onto our local newly refurbished night club. . Tripped up the new steps and grabbed the first thing that came to hand. .

Which was a young revellers jeans. . .
So glad he had underwear on!!
Poor lad (over 18 and me about 40!!)

When I was 20 I lived in a house split into rented rooms. I had given notice to leave and on the day my room was to be shown to prospective tenants, I'd made arrangements to meet a friend to be out the way.

We ended up getting totally bladdered and, when my landlord let himself in my room with a young guy, I was naked on the bed with a halo of vomit!

My dad went into my bedroom and found anal beads drying on the side of my sink. He came downstairs and told me my sink was disgustingly filthy and I needed to clean it asap. I have never been so mortified when I went up to dutifully clean the sink and saw the anal beads sitting there.