Why can't I do this 😞

[NoManNeeded]

Failed my second driving test yesterday. I'm so angry at myself and I feel so down about it. Just needed a vent. I've had so many lessons and my driving instructor has said on both my tests that he is sure I would pass and then I come back and I have failed miserably. I think I'm a confident driver, my instructor has said more lessons are absolutely pointless because there is nothing more he can teach me? The anxiety when I get in the car with the instructor just sets me off and then I seem to forget everything I am supposed to know. I am a single mum and driving would make my life so much easier, I turn down invitations and can't take my children to places I'd love to take them because I can't drive. It's holding me back so much. I've tried the rescue remedy and kalms tablets. All of the advised things to do, I've done.
My instructor was so shocked yesterday and he was disappointed and asked me where I go from here because more lessons are pointless? Does anybody have any advice? Has anybody else been through this and overcome it? I desperately want to do this and I'm so angry and upset with myself because I feel like a failure.

How about taking your instructor with you on the test so that you might feel calmer and/or he can debrief you afterwards?

It took me 3 tries to pass; don't give up!

I took my test 6 times in the end. Cost a fortune. Every time I failed I got more nervous about failing and it just became a self fulfilling prophecy. I just took loads of tests in the end until I stopped caring so much and eventually passed.

I remember my leg shook so much I couldn't control the clutch properly! I could drive fine in lessons.
Maybe if you go and see your GP and explain the situation they might be able to give you a short course of beta blockers or similar to get you through just the test if it is purely nerves that are the problem. Otherwise just keep at it!
Good luck

Thanks everyone for taking the time to write your comments and experiences. Reading them has made me feel a little better. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who has felt like this. The hard part is not to beat myself up over it like I am now because I've spent so much money and time trying to get through the test and on the day I let myself down. I think I'm upset because I feel like I've let my children down too because we can't go to places they would enjoy or do the extra hobbies/activities for them because I'm not mobile to travel to those places. I'm just in a woe is me frame of mind today, I'll snap out of it and eat some cheese and chocolate and all will be well in the world again....I'll just have to walk to the shops for the cheese and chocolate! 😂

I failed 5 times, passed on 6th go!
I could drive ok but the nerves always got the better of me on the day.

For the test I passed, I deliberately booked it for a time when I knew traffic would be heavy in the area and I would spend more time in traffic, less time driving and therefore less chance to make a mistake!!!

That was 15 years ago and (touch wood) I've never had as much as a bump or a speeding fine!

Persevere, and good luck

I also failed twice, through nerves. That feeling of somebody sitting beside me and judging me....awful! And I used to feel so ashamed, in a way that all wouldn't if I was failing at anything else. I let almost four years pass between my second and third test, I just couldn't face it.

When I couldn't put it off any longer, I got lessons with a strict, no bullshit instructor. I practiced every single day for six weeks. And I kept repeating to myself, I am an adult. I am a grown up. Because for some reason, the exam made me feel like a helpless child. Passed on the third test, was nervous but not the way I had been for the others.

Good luck to you, you will pass it in the end. Don't beat up on yourself while you're getting there

I failed four times before passing. Try cbt to get your anxiety under control.

Hi op, feel nervous test driver here, am doing my third test 25th of August and am already nervous. Have been given propanalol to take though and hoping it helps. Not much advice but just to let you know someone else is here going through it with you, i also have a lot riding on it as i live in a semi rural area with awful transport. I sometimes think it's that pressure that makes the nerves worse! Best of luck to you

I passed third time! KEEP GOING!! You are closer now than you ever will be.

I had a couple of EFT sessions to calm me down first (look it up it's tapping on pressure points whilst reciting affirmations) It was SO good for me.

PLEASE don't give up.

EFT= Emotional freedom technique.

I passed on my 5th attempt. Be resilient you'll do it eventually!

I win!! Seven times for me

I think it was a combination of it being so important to pass (so it seemed to me at the time) and never really having properly failed at anything before.

Hi easy on yourself OP, it will happen eventually I agree with lots more practice to build confidence and beta blockers to overcome on-the-day nerves

Go easy

All the best people pass 4th time!!! The fourth time I was so nervous I cancelled outside the examination office. My legs actually weren't working! The examiner came out and said "Well you've paid for me so lets just do a practice run!" I had to get my driving instructor to sit in the car with me I was so nervous. When the bloke said I'd passed I actually kissed him. You will get there! Its shit and expensive but you will get there!

It sounds desperately irresponsible but I didn't learn to drive until I was in my 30s and I failed several times. Then I drove (now) DH back from Kent to London after he had had an alcoholic lunch. He fell asleep and I had to make proper driver decisions without any help. We got home in one piece, and I had acquired the confidence I needed. I passed the next time.

You guys are fabulous, all your stories have really lifted my spirits. I think when you feel like that you become self indulgent and think it's only happened to you but knowing others have been there and done it and persevered shows me that there's light at the end of the tunnel. I'll be honest, I've sat and thought today that I want to give it up but you lot have inspired me to keep at it. Maybe on the 10th go I'll pass!
I'll definitely be trying out some of the advice given here though because I'm at the he stage where I'll give anything a go! All I need is a large brandy before my test to settle my nerves

I passed on my third time and I was the same, nerves just made me fall apart! You just need more drive time so the nerves start to go

@NoManNeeded I actually told he examiner who passed me that I need to chat to detract from my nerves. I had my instructor in the back and made him talk absolute rubbish just to calm me