To panic about contact from old friend

[YorksMa]

I've been on Mumsnet for a couple of years but changed my u/n for this post, just in case.

Oh the joys of social media. Someone I was friends with many years ago has contacted me. I deliberately let this person drift out of my life and she comes from a much younger time in my life when I was in the armed forces - a period I would rather forget. In a rush of panic I agreed to meet up with her. Typical me, I went into default polite and cheery mode and said, yes, that would be lovely. Well it won't be lovely and I am lying awake at night worrying about it. She's not a bad person. In fact she's a nice person although we don't have much in common. I can't go into why that period of my life is so difficult for me on a public forum, but it's just a case of I've put those years in a 'box' and nobody in my current life knows anything about them. I'm so stressed about it. I wonder if others have had unwanted 'reunions' thrust upon them and what you did...

I made contact with an old school friend on FB and tried to instigate a coffee. I was keen to catch up but she wasn't so much. I made a couple of suggestions which she was too busy to attend so I took the hint.

Just be vague and very, very busy. She's not likely to stalk you down.

You could just be honest:

'It was lovely to hear from you again thank you for making contact, I'm happy to hear that you are well, I think I'll probably skip on meeting up for coffee though, I've actively decided to leave the past behind me as 'xyz' were not the happiest years for me. Of course, this has nothing to do with our friendship which I will always remember fondly. Wishing you all the best for the future'

You both sound so sensible and calm. Thank you! It's ridiculous how stressed I am about it. I will try to get some perspective, as you suggest.

I'm occasionally contacted by people from my school days and respond in a similar way to ginnystonic's suggestion.

At least it's honest, they can accept it or not.