Having horrible menstrual cramps, naproxen isn’t touching it, and I remember I have a hot water bottle in my desk drawer - I used it all winter in my freezing office, and a few other people, male and female, have one as well - we have a rule against personal space heaters so it can be nice to have under your desk next to your feet.
Anyway. I fill the hot water bottle, nestle it in my lap, and I’m back to work. My sort-of-supervisor* we’ll call Guy comes over to talk to me about something, notices the hot water bottle, says “there’s no way you’re cold today, are you?” I say “um, no, just for the pain relief”. He looks confused and then literally horrified and then he walks away.
Less than ten minutes later, I get a Slack message from one of the HR admins (HR is based in another office a few hours away) to say “Guy says you’re not well and should go home, everything OK?”
I say “I’m fine, this is sort of weird, he just looked a bit shocked that I had a hot water bottle, I’ve got cramps, you know how it is.”
She goes silent and then offline completely, ten more minutes later, the HR Director calls me and asks me if I can find a meeting room, which I do. She then tells me that I shouldn’t disclose my medical problems to anyone who isn’t part of HR as it can make them uncomfortable. I’m literally shocked, I explain exactly what happened, she says “yes I understand, if you’re so unwell you need a hot water bottle you should be home, Guy is extremely uncomfortable and it’s unprofessional”. I say “this is weird, ok, anything else”? She’s quite breezy and professional - “No, that’s all, if you’re feeling better that’s great but if you need to, please do go home, OK bye!"
I’m just completely flabbergasted. Especially considering that Guy has been known to take meetings with clients whilst laying flat on the floor on his back because of back problems - which seems to me both unprofessional and likely to make people uncomfortable, not that I really cared personally. I wouldn’t have had my hot water bottle in a client meeting or even if clients were in the office.
Other people have standing desks, weird foot rests, all kinds of chairs and special backrests for their back pain and wrist braces for their wrist pain and a hundred other things and I’m not allowed to have a hot water bottle for my menstrual cramps? Am I right to be completely fucking furious?
*I normally have no problem with Guy, we don’t work closely, no one else does what I do at work but he comes closest and he does my nominal (and always positive) performance reviews and signs off on my holiday.
AIBU?
To be furious for being called out for menstruating at work?
Snuffalo · 11/07/2017 15:04
Poor Guy, I bet he has seen some of the threads on here and doesn't know how to react.
Yeah, right 
so he chooses to massively over react and recoil in horror at the thought of a bleeding vagina.
He will positively keel over and die when he finds out how children are born, poor bloke.
What about the possible discomfort you felt having to explain why you had the hot water bottle?
If you cannot even mention innocently a hot water bottle without someone getting their knickers in a twist, you cannot possibly wonder why the poor guy went straight to HR to deal with the issue...
AmusedBush
Can you imagine old Guy's face in that situation?? "Oh, no, I don't have my period, it's just vicious case of diarrhoea!" 
"Oh don't worry Guy, I have the shits. But hey as long as I'M NOT BLEEDING!"
Why do I get the impression he's one of those men who compare menstruation and breastfeeding to men pissing and shitting in public?
It's HR's fudging job to know how to deal with misogynists like Guy 
If it were me, I'd not want him as my sort-of-supervisor anymore. He's made it awkward, not you!
Please do take it further - beyond your inept HR department.
I need a tall glass of something strong after reading that. Absolutely reeling for you!
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