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I shouldn't send this, should I?

23 replies

hibbledobble · 11/07/2017 15:01

I posted before about a very awkward engagement party I went to with my family. We weren't introduced to any other guests, or offered any food or drink. The other guests were frosty and we just sat there on our own feeling rather out of place. An opinion from here was that as we had received a Facebook invite, we had been invited accidentally.

We have since not been invited to the wedding, which just reinforces that we were not altogether welcome guests.

Wibu to message the bride to be and ask if we were invited accidentally, and perhaps say that even so, the lack of hosting was very rude?

I see her constantly posting about the wedding on Facebook, and think it was rather rude to just invite us to the engagement party, and not make any effort at hosting, then not send a wedding invite.

OP posts:

mummymeister · 11/07/2017 15:07

Let it go. you went to the event, you didn't have a good time it was a couple of hours out of your life.

writing to the bride achieves nothing. Move on.


MyPatronusIsAUnicorn · 11/07/2017 15:10

I wouldn't. What would you gain from it apart from causing an argument?

Accept they behaved badly and don't bother with them again.


Shoxfordian · 11/07/2017 15:11

Just leave it. What are you going to achieve?


BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 11/07/2017 15:11

What do you mean not offered food and drink? Was it a buffet where you just help yourself, sounds like a strange party if you wait for the hosts to get you stuff, unless it was a very small gathering.

I don't think there is anything wrong with inviting people to an engagement party and not the wedding, there is nothing to be achieved by asking the bridge, will just make you look a bit odd IMO


hibbledobble · 11/07/2017 15:16

betty maybe it is clearer to say there was no food and drink! I brought a contribution to share but it easy rejected.

OP posts:

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 11/07/2017 15:17

Oh I see. Blimey, sounds like a very strange party. Allow it no more head space.


KoalaDownUnder · 11/07/2017 15:18

I'd let it go.


BumbleNova · 11/07/2017 15:20

Op - I remember the previous post. Its time to stop giving this/ her any headspace. let it go.


hibbledobble · 11/07/2017 15:24

bumble you are right I think.

Thank you all for being the voice of reason.

I need to unfriend and cut contact.

OP posts:

Giraffey1 · 11/07/2017 15:24

Just forget it!


ginnystonic · 11/07/2017 15:28

I'd unfriend her on FB and move on. I remember your first post, I'm surprised you expected a wedding invitation tbh.


StickThatInYourPipe · 11/07/2017 15:30

What is your relation to the bride and groom?


hibbledobble · 11/07/2017 15:31

ginny Done!

I didn't expect a wedding invitation, but the lack of one just compounds the rudeness in my opinion (as in 'I will invite you to make up numbers then not bother with you, but I won't bother inviting you to an event which costs me money')

OP posts:

hibbledobble · 11/07/2017 15:32

I'm not sure why this bothers me so much, but it has.

Best leave it I agree.

OP posts:

Benedikte2 · 11/07/2017 15:47

I think you should be thankful you weren't invited to the wedding -- would have cost you an outfit, gift and more frosty hours than you'll ever get back!
Maybe nothing to eat , either. Is this some strange religion? Did you have any prayers or ritual at the party?
Let them get on with their inhospitable lives


StickThatInYourPipe · 11/07/2017 15:49

OP how do you know the bride and groom? Did it seem odd that they invited you to the original party or was it something you'll expect to be invited to?


EthelsDisco · 11/07/2017 15:50

It bothers you because you rightly felt embarrassed after the weird engagement do. Who does that? I mean even if it was a fb cock up they should have introduced you, included you.
When people treat you shoddily it stings and you kind of want to let them know, but agree with all pp best thing you've done is defriend and ignore.


TheMysteriousJackelope · 11/07/2017 15:54

Nothing good will come from the letter. They didn't care enough about you to make the slightest effort at their party so they aren't going to care for your opinion of their manners.

At least you don't have to go to their wedding, which will probably be a horribly hosted event with guests waiting around for hours with nothing to eat and drink, or anywhere to sit.


KimmySchmidt1 · 11/07/2017 15:57

What is the purpose of this confrontation? Are you hoping to humiliate, win, come out on top, get respect from the world?

It all sounds like an exercise is manufactured offence and imposing your will on someone else. She is not a John Lewis customer services rep.

Stop looking for confrontations and get on with your life.


MrsOverTheRoad · 11/07/2017 16:06

I remember your post! Message them! I need to know what the eff they were thinking of!

If I remember rightly, a few posters thought you'd been asked by accident! A message sent on Facebook by mistake...At least you'll know...


hibbledobble · 11/07/2017 18:54

We know the bride (not the groom so much) pretty well. Known them for years, many dinners together etc. The invite didn't seem odd.

mrs the invite by accident seems like a plausible explanation.

Anyway I will leave it.

OP posts:

InvisibleKittenAttack · 11/07/2017 18:59

unfriend, or if that seems too much, just hide her from your facebook. (Is it unfollow, so you dont see any of their posts?)


CoughLaughFart · 11/07/2017 19:18

Personally I find 'unfriending' a little bit teenage. You're both grown women; simply accept that you're not as friendly as you thought and don't put yourself out in future.

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