AIBU to ask how do you keep a tidy house?!?!

[SeriouslyMessyCow]

I don't know what the heck is wrong with me but I live in such an utter mess.

I don't have kids so can't blame them but my DH is not bothered about mess either so we both just accumulate so much stuff.

We also both leave the house around 7am and don't often get back until 8/9/10pm. We then wash up what we need, make dinner and go to bed. Then weekends we're either shattered or busy socially and now I've got clutter upon clutter and it's getting me down.

How do you do it?! I can imagine many of you have less hours in the day than us, and more people that make mess, so AIBU to ask your secret?

Please!

Yep it's the "stuff" take some A/L if you can and have a cull!

After that be very strict with yourself on what comes into the house and every week have a quick run around and get rid of anything you don't need (charity shop / recycle etc.)

If you still can't keep on top of it get a cleaner once a week

If you had a landlord inspection (or imagine selling the place yourself), how would you present it?
For me that's the goal. I want my home to be nicer for me than for any visitors or potential buyers, so I make the effort now, if that makes sense.

now I just have to teach my kids some wisdom...

You say 'we get home and wash up what we need' - does this mean you have your food and then leave your dishes dirty/breakfast dishes dirty? If so this is a really key thing to start with. Even if you are tired and it's late, wash your plates and put them away. Do the same in the morning.

How come you are not back until 9/10pm? If you have a terrible commute then that is really hard. If it is due to hobbies/socialising then maybe take a break once in a while. Maybe take a day's annual leave and stay at home and tidy. If you want your home to be somewhere you enjoy being then you need to put a little work in unfortunately!

I also love Marie kondo but you definitely need a bit of time for this.

Ideally you would just bin everything, or give away, but not everybody can afford to do so. Nothing wrong in selling your clothes, but it takes longer and you do have to be ruthless.

If you have clothes that you think you can sell then book an appointment with yourself and use that time to photograph and upload to ebay etc. Put it on the calendar. Then decide on a deadline of when they will go to the charity shop if theyre not sold.
For the rest you need Marie Kondo. Read the book, then get prepared for the next bank holiday weekend or take a couple of days off work. This really works if your OH is also on board.

Simplify your life. Take better care of your things. Buy less, then buy better quality with money saved. Bin stuff you don't use. Work out a storage solution. Divide housework. Don't let things build up. Sell things you don't want and make money.

Eventually your life becomes ordered. Good luck.

Marie Kondo is all I can say- my wardrobes are now organised and in rid of things that don't bring me pleasure. I'm slowly working on the rest of the house but for once it's actually staying tidy enough to have a cleaner weekly- 4 of us in the house including two teenagers

It doesn't sound like you have enough time to eBay stuff unless you are prepared to make time.

I would definitely try to pile stuff into similar items. I did this and found I had a lot of very similar items. If you find you have 27 pairs of jeans but only ever wear 7 of them you can instantly bag up the other 20 pairs. Unless they spark joy.

Get some cardboard boxes. Don't move the clutter to another room.

Label the boxes
-charity
-rubbish
-recycle
-tidy away (don't know where to put it)
-tidy away (already has a home)

Do a room at a time. Throw away the rubbish, recycle what you can in bins or the tip, take the donations to charity. Put everything away From the tidy away box has a home.

Do next room.

Once all rooms are tidy, decide if you really really need all the stuff that in the box labelled needs a home and find a home for it.

From time to time you also need to remove things from the cupboards you've tidied into. Have a policy of throwing out at least one item of clothing etc each time you buy something new.

N b. I don't agree with chucking out clothes because they're not fashionable right now. I spent good money on them and they are my clothes. So I have lots of clothes. But do throw out well worn clothes.

I was really tidy when I first got married and got our own home. I am no where near as tidy now. I am now trying to get back to being tidy so will watch this thread with interest

Be utterly ruthless, get rid of everything that isn't either useful or important to you. If you won't use it, lose it. Donate it to charity if it makes you feel better, just get all the crap out of your house. Once that's done you can focus on finding places to store what's left, which is a lot easier when there's less of it.

DON'T increase your storage

I am on the fence with that one. On one side, do not buy more storage to allow you to keep more stuff you don't not need. On the other hand, it can get easier to stay tidy when you buy things like this for the items you do need to keep:
hanging shelves

drawer organiser

underbed storage for your beddings and towels...

Some things you do need to keep, at least a spare duvet cover and a spare towel. I like a tidy house, but I still have a duvet for each season

I do think to be tidy you have to basically become tidy. That sounds nonsense but it really is how it works. People keep things tidy by being tidy which means that being clean and tidy is a priority for them.

This is a major issue in your life and you have to prioritise it. I do think you should either book some time off or 'take' some time off. I personally would just make the three piles of keep, bin, sell/charity then at the end of it you can always go through the charity shop stuff and decide to sell it.

In my experience the faff of putting things on eBay, is too much and I end up giving to charity. The relief of it just being gone is instant and by giving it away you see how much money you spent on things you're getting rid of which helps not to get so much clutter again.

To tidy the whole house I would start with putting everything in the right room. So, yes just moving it about but at least then when you start a room, everything thats supposed to be in there is there to begin with, so how you organise it doesn't suddenly turn out to be unsuitable.

First make a plan of how you want things organised. Get everything out, go through it, put the charity stuff in the car, out the rubbish outside, clean tidy and organise that room, THEN, if you are certain everything is how you want, off to the charity shop and the tip you go.

I know someone like this. The only thing that works is turning up at hers and standing over her, providing encouragement/booze/helpful commentary while she sorts stuff into 'keep' and 'get rid of' piles. Do you have a good friend who could perform a similar service?

I am actually better organised now than pre DC because I have to be!

It's easier to let it slide when it doesn't really impact you. We would frequently leave all clothes washing and dish washing till the weekend I never tidied mid week.

Now my secret is to tidy constantly. Never put something down that can be put away. And I never leave the house a mess before bed. I find 40 minutes every evening is enough to get stuff back to where it belongs.

I don't have the energy but you just have to push through it and I'm always glad when I've done it.

Our house is always tidy and that's with a toddler and teen in the mix. We just don't have that much stuff. We don't do ornaments or things on display. Everything has a place and things get returned to their place once used. I tend to have a small pile of papers on the windowsill most of the time, waiting to be filed/shredded but that's it. We both work full time and have a cleaner once a week.

Honestly the key is just to get rid of about 80% of the stuff in your house.

Thanks for all your advice. I think I'm going to start with clothes when I get in as I know that's both of our biggest weaknesses. I must have 5+ bags at least to go to the charity shop. Once I've done that it'll be shoes and handbags, then my ridiculous collection of cosmetics (I blame all the monthly subscription boxes I get).

I think once those key parts of the two small bedrooms we have are done it'll be easier to see what comes next. I'm already feeling motivated! Thank you everyone

Doesn't have to be all eBay or charity shops.

It's car boot season. You could gather up your pile of clothes and other clutter, car boot them, and then whatever doesn't sell, charity shop or dump on the way home.

One morning not endless hours, might not make much, but might make you feel better.

On the other hand, just think about what all those clothes are costing you at the moment in terms of guilt, stealing your pleasure in your home, costing you your peace of mind. If you find a charity shop for a charity you support, then you may not get any financial benefit, but you will win peace of mind, and the knowledge that you have made a big difference to someone else's life.

Our house is pretty tidy, a lot of that is down to DH. If I am cooking he is tidying/cleaning. It's only 10 mins hear and there but it adds up.

I'd like to hire a decluttering professional for a one-off tidy and then keep up with things, but DH sees it as an unnecessary expense. Fact is, he works during the week and I work weekends. We just never have time to do more than the essentials! What arguments would you use to sell a declutter pro?

I actually took a couple of days holiday after reading KonMarie and just did the house n the order of categories she suggests.

Like, its a whole new way of living/thinking and things feel so much lighter at home.

I did keep some stuff e.g. like old mismatched towels because I DO need some spare towels and didn't have the money to buy nice new coordinated towels so stuff like that is on a 'watch list' of things that I want to replace.

Cancel your subscription boxes - it's just more 'stuff' coming in.

Marie Kondo definitely. Think about it like this: the kitchen is normally the tidiest room in any house and that's because everything has a place. The kondo method means you get all your alike things in one place. If you go and get all of your pens, you'll have loads and then you can discard some and have a place for pens. Or if you get all the pairs of scissors in your house together and you see that you have ten pairs, it's clear you don't need that many. It's done by category.

My house is tidy.

Find everything a home. Bin or donate the rest. Then every single day but your stuff away after you use it, don't leave it lying out. At that stage, after everything has a home, it's easy. Five mins a day and it doesn't build up.

100% Kondo method here. I just picked and chose the bits I could work with rather than slavishly followed the whole thing but once it's done ( the painful but liberating bit) it is SO EASY to stay on top of.

You don't need to pare it down to two sets of knives and forks, but seriously. GET RID of all the superfluous mugs, plates, chipped bowls, saucepans without handles etc etc. Having 20 mugs just means you have 20 to be lazy about and get dirty. Apply this to EVERYTHING.

Going forward you should get into the habit of taking things with you around the house -i.e you get up from the sofa to go to the kitchen, take your empty mug with you and put in the dishwasher. Going upstairs? Take laundry with you and come back again with the rubbish from the bathroom bin ( if you have one, I'm aware that bathroom bins are an MN shibboleth!)

When you leave the house in the morning, take a bin bag/ recycling out with you. On your way in pick up any junk mail and put in the recycling.
It will become absolute second nature, even though EVERY TIME I DO IT I am thinking to myself 'I am doing this to stay tidy' But it has become automatic now, and the house is so much more calm and welcoming as a result.