To think this isn't acceptable with a reception child

[Igottastartthinkingbee]

A school mum stands at the bottom of the school field and watches her reception child walk along the path up to school. The entrance to reception class is through a small fenced garden where there's a big tree. Both of which obscure the view of the entrance plus the fact that the bottom of the school field is also downhill from school. There's no way she can see her child actually go into class. I see this almost daily. The mum also has two younger children (3yrs and 1yr) who are not with her when I see her do this. Their house is very close to the bottom of the school field (but not inmeadiately adjacent to) so the only reason I can think that she doesn't walk her child up to class is that she's left the other two children alone in the house. I know I could well be wrong on this count but why else would she not walk her reception child up to school?

I know there's not a lot I can do about this but it worries me. Both for the reception child and her younger ones.

Ah can't be nice for the dc not having a wave at the school gate. . .
Likely the others are at home you are probably right. ..

Have you spoken to the school about it? It most definitely wouldn't be allowed at my dcs school.

It does seem a shame and it's not something I would do, but the teachers are probably aware the child arrives alone and if the child is happy with their independence, then it's probably okay. Having said that, I did spend some time living in another European country where it was quite common for kids from the age of 5 to take themselves to kindergarten or school, crossing roads and sometimes getting trams alone. The first year I was there, I found it shocking, but soon got used to it.

The walking into school on their own doesn't bother me, but potentially leaving a 3 and 1 yo in the house on their own does 😕

Well yes I do think it's a shame that they don't say goodbye right outside school but it's more the kids safety that worries me. There's three entrances to school grounds, one of which is right next to the reception entrance so the child could easily wander past and straight through out the other side of school. Or someone could easily take the child through that gateway.

Should I speak to school?

Rewind time back to the 80s - would this be an issue?
It's not something I would do personally and I'd probably raise an eyebrow if I saw it being done but in reality, is it really that bad? I'm not sure. I'm one of those guilty of over protecting and trying to step back.... But how far is too far?

Hmmm I'm not sure Alex. I don't know if I'm overreacting but reception is still so young and the school grounds are so open from a security point of view.

I'd say it's fine. Although she can't see child go in, presumably she would see if child didn't go in and veered left or right. They are saying goodbye just a bit further away.

Children here walk to school and even ride the tram / train to school by themselves. From 6yo , so a bit older but still. What is going to happen at the school gate? I wouldn't do it because I'd feel bad for the kid being the only one doing it but it is fine from a safety pov I think

So she says goodbye once they are in the school field which leads straight into school grounds and that child's entrance? I'm afraid I can't see that there's a big issue. She has obviously assessed it and deemed it safe and her child capable of following the rules and going straight in etc. And the can't see how it why the school would interfere. It's her child and her choice. And it's not like she leaves the child to walk along pavements and cross busy roads etc by itself.

On the other hand leaving a 1 y/o and a 3 y/o alone at home is a worry.
Tho of course it is possible their dad is there waiting on mum returning so he can go to work hence her choice not to walk all the way to school gate.

I would mention it to the teacher and they can ask the child who walked them to school/who is at home with siblings etc. If the 3yo and 1yo are home alone, the teacher can pass this info to the head who will speak with the parent. You will be anonymous in this. I'm an ex teacher and I would do this.

In our primary, reception class must be dropped off and picked up by pre authorised (in writing) person. If the school allows it, then stay out of it.

I missed the bit where you know it's a reception class child. Do you see the child go into the reception class? Or do you see the child heading toward the gate? Maybe she has an arrangement with school where child can use that gate unaccompanied but may actually be in Y1 or Y2?

Personally, I would try and strike up a conversation with the mum and see if I could help. It may be a one off, a particularly chaotic morning for her and she might welcome a bit of support when other similarly chaotic mornings occur.
The kids left at home is a bit of a worry. They may have been asleep still? She may have had a baby monitor in her pocket and that was why she could only move so far from the house?
I wouldn't want to speak to the school in the first instance I don't think.

I think more children should be given responsibility for walking a bit of their journey on their own. This doesn't sound at all unsafe to me. Where I live, 4 year olds walk completely alone to Kindergarten, crossing roads etc. That's too much at that age, but it puts it in a bit more of a context that in the UK, children are quite controlled by their parents.

You'd assume for the younger ones at home, that the dad is there, that they are either having a nap or are placed in a safe place, such as a play pen. Otherwise, you'd hope that the mum wouldn't leave them though I guess you can't be sure?

How long have you been seeing her do this OP?

I do think we tend to get a bit hysterical over watching over our dc these days. So child's in reception, if they are autumn born they could be nearly 6. Maybe the child is responsible and trustworthy and can be relied on to walk sensibly into school. I'm sure if the child didn't appear in class it would have been flagged up by now.

Maybe the mum has mobility issues and can manage the hill.

trolls I know the child is reception because my child is in the same class.

dancer child is late spring birthday so not nearly six. I see her do this most days for the last few weeks. It's the not being able to see the entrance to reception at all (and their beings another exit very close by) that bothers me.

I cannot be sure that the other two kids are home alone. So who knows.

She doesn't have mobility issues as far as I can tell. She carries her one year old up to pick up.

Where does she pick up from in the afternoon, the classroom door I presume?

Sorry, I can't see the problem. I went to school by myself from the age of 4 and my dd went by herself from the age of 5.

Can you offer to walk him in if your child is in the same class?

This wouldn't bother me at all. We're raising a nation of useless children.

I think you are overreacting op. In the 80's this would have been a common occurrence .

I suspect with her age gap she's learned to let go a bit more than other people (in the uk) do. You have to or you'd never leave the house.

If she walks him then she has to wake 1 and 3 year old up, dress them load buggy and walk up there. It turns in to a mission.

Inclined to agree bunlicker

I was amazed how many comments I got when I allowed my TEN year old dd to catch a bus home after I transferred her younger sister to another school. People were more impressed than judgmental but I was surprised at their attitude. A ten year old catching a bus is nothing special, or shouldn't be.