Try to cut a long story short. Sorry if it isn't but I am still absolutely raging three weeks on and need to get it off my chest to people other than husband, mother and other friends before my pregnant self explodes Ina ball of unresolved fucked off ness.
Basically I have had a very close friend for 14 years. We've been through a lot together- break ups, bearevements, me having two soon the be three children, the usual stuff. However on top of that she has had a very difficult time and is currently off work and in therapy for some personal issues.
We don't live near to each other anymore and it has not been easy for me to come and see her with three pregnancies in four years and not being very well myself, plus a very difficult time in my own relationship which took a lof of working out. However during this time I have called or texted her almost every week, to see how things are, now her therapy is going, advice and support about work and career. I have been genuinely concerned along the way that she has done some very peculiar things have never told her my own views other than I want her to be careful and happy. As I say, throughout everything this I have been there for her. I thought that was reciprocated. So much so that the day before the incident she wrote me a message saying she couldn't wait to come and see me again as I had been such a good friend and source of support despite having a lot on my plate and how much she valued me not just fobbing her off or cutting her out of my life because we didn't see each other anywhere near as much as we used to.
Anyway, the next day whilst resting after a long day on holiday day lugging children around in the heat I made the mistake of engaging in a debate she and started on social media. Yes I know. But it was about the election and in particular a field where I used to work before a career break to raise my children. There were about twenty people involved in this. I am trying to paraphrase but you need to understand the context. I have acquaintances that I used to work with and people who I have discussed work with in terms of future freelance jobs on my account. She knows this.
Anyway to cut a long story short she wrote that I knew nothing about what doing a real day's work was since I spend most of my day sat on my arse trying to avoid doing anything other than redirecting emails and she feared for my ability to cope once back in the "real world" she ended it with "I think you would find any job taxing and beyond your capacity now to be honest😉" yes wink induced.
I was gobsmacked and beyond livid. To me it was defamation of character as she even specifically mentioned certain details. None of it is true I hasten to add. I worked my arse off in that job and had a good reputation.
Anyway when I confronted her about it (via telephone) she was utterly unapologetic and actually added further insults. She brought my relationship problems in, and said as far as she was concerned the friendship was over when I moved away and I was an arrogant bully.
I didn't hit back, as frankly I was too stunned to. I have blocked her now and cut off all contact but i am still reeling for how badly she behaved towards me. To add insult to injury she still owes me the best part of £1,000 from a holiday we had that I paid for under assurances she'd pay me back.
I have resisted the temptation to write to her and tell her a few home truths but annoyingly I find myself unable to move on from how insulting and peculiar and unrepentant she is. Even other people on this discussion stated their incredulity at what she had written to and about me.
I suppose i am just venting really and I know I will never see the money, I'm not so sure I even want it now, but I feel unless I resolve how I feel with her it will just niggle away. I don't want to resurrect the friendship that apparently I had failed so miserably at, so wonder if there is any point, as I am keen to avoid remonstrations and fanning the flames.
What would you do?
AIBU or has she really been as hurtful as I think she has and this mindset is justified?