To think you need to be a bit ruthless to get ahead.

[malificent7]

As my previoys threads suggest, my careerr is going nowhere. Im a trained teacher and although i work very hard i just cannot cope with the workload and pressure.
The hardest i find is dealing with the sheer amount of people ihad to deal with: students, parents and colleagues: all with varying agendas and needs.
Im not great at dealing with politics so i havnt risen in my career.
My dps ex has done very well and keeps getting promoted. I feel inferior. But yhen shes very assertive, hard nosed and knows what she wants. Plus she has excellent childcare from dp. Shes a manager.
I struggle to just do the day job.
Aibu to think there is morr to success than just being good at your job? You need to be hard nosed and ruthless to survive too.

Typos!

Not sure why your interested in his ex's career? Possibly a little over-invested? Her success is nothing to do with your career so it would be more helpful to yourself to focus on what you would like from your own career.
I also think it depends what sector you work in. I'm in line for promotion but wouldn't describe myself as ruthless. I work hard, I'm good at my job and I no longer let people walk all over me like I used to. I stand up for what's right and I know my policies, procedures and legislation. Most people in my sector can't be bothered because we're paid so little.

I think teaching is a lot to do with just being in the right place at the right time tbh.

Also, would you attribute a man's success to these qualities and to having "excellent childcare" from their children's mother?

You probably do have to be very focussed and determined (maybe a bit ruthless in some sectors!) and not everyone wants that. Some people are content to do the job they're in. But I agree with betty I think if you want to advance you need to focus on what you personally need to do to get there and ignore the ex. And maybe think about if that's what you actually want or are you just feeling bad because you're comparing yourself to others in a negative way?

I think it's because i dont think im very good at teaching. I find it hard to work and bring up dd ( dp is not her dad and he has his own ds)
he helps loads with his dd which i love as hes a great dad but it does mean she can work weekends, evenings and overtime and i cant.
She keeps getting promoted and i cant even keep a job.
I gyess i wonder what he sees in me when his ex can make a greater financial contribution whereas i barely scrape by. I feel jealous i guess.