Could DH be bipolar?

[LovelyBath77]

He is either up and chatty or down and miserable. I have noticed it more recently. Have been together 18 years. He's always been quite moody but Mil mentioned his dad is like this also and she had wondered over the years if it could be bipolar, which made me think. DH has been worse since being diagnosed with an autoimmune condition. Could it be linked I wonder? Does anyone live with someone or know someone similar, what do you think?

In the gentlest way possible, dont ask us, seek medical help and diagnosis if you suspect.

Ex DHof 15 years is bipolar - its a serious and debilitating condition and very different to being a bit sad some of the time and happier at other times.

I have bipolar and as above, it's a debilitating condition.
There are highs and lows but it's so much more.
Google cyclothymia (sp?) I was diagnosed that initially, then as things went on, I had a formal meeting and the bipolar affective disorder was diagnosed. My lows are more prominent to me, it's so hard to recognise or accept the mania as what it is because it's this feeling of pure joy and when you're happy... well, can you be too happy?

My oh and I were discussing this tonight actually and he wants me back taking my medication properly. Unfortunately he thinks I'm spiralling again. It goes in cycles, and the closest people to you can pick up on so much more than the patient.

If you think this is a possibility please go with him to gp and ask for a referral to mental health team local to you.
He may not be ready to accept diagnosis (if forthcoming) though. It is a dark dark time being diagnosed with a lifelong mental illness

Thank you for your replies. I have expereince with Mh services here and they are very good. I understand what you mean about it being more than just moods. He told me sometimes he wakes up and he feels very low and tired (but I wonder if that is due to the IBD as well, that would make you down and he's on strong drugs for it.) Our physical and mental health can be so linked, can't they. And other times he talks and talks, gets so into his work and ideas, wakes up at 3am and is off all day, on a real high only to crash again. But then, maybe could be a way of avoiding his illness? I don't know. I can;t see him asking a doc though. he always says how 'mentally strong' he is. Hmm. I have tried explaining it isn't 'weak' to have or seek help for MH (as i have had to do). Not easy.

From NHS site-

If you have cyclothymia, you'll have periods of low mood followed by periods of euphoria and excitement, when you don't need much sleep

The causes of cyclothymia are unknown, but there is probably a genetic link – cyclothymia, clinical depression and bipolar disorder all tend to run in families.
In some people, traumatic events or experiences may act as a trigger for the condition, such as severe illness or long periods of stress.

Well that sounds very like it. Especially the lack of sleep as well, and has started since the IBD diagnosis.

I wonder if anything can be done without going to the doc?

Questioning do the meds help? I hope so. I'm on prozac myself (and amitryptilline but for a pain condition).

I don't agree that normal is never waking up in a good mood or a bad mood and never having your day affected by what your thoughts dreams sleep quality and emotions are doing. You need to remind yourself that you are in England, where emotions and behaviours different to a flat automotive will always be regarded with suspicion, and a whiff of 'either a foreigner or mental'

Remember how Wimbledon used to be silent, polite and the same reaction whether a win or a lose. That's what England thinks is normal, but the rest of the world disagrees.

I'd have a chat with the dr.
Scary though a diagnosis is, I found mine freeing. I don't openly tell people, but I am much more aware of my own limitations and enforcing boundaries because of it.
I had to give up my job because working is not an option for me when I'm as ill as I am. I can't wait for the day that I'm stable enough for work, but have been told by Drs to take a few years getting 'well'.
But again, I have a formal diagnosis of bipolar affective disorder, and any mental illness will vary and differ in severity to the next person with the diagnosis.

Please have him see a dr. I'm on medication for depression and anxiety, plus mood stabilisers- the depression medication could make all the difference to him though.

And FFS he has an auto immune disorder, can't you forgive him little 'sheen has gone' day or two with out thinking g about lithium ing him?

Yes, i see it's normal to have moods etc, however I've known him for years and he's never been this up and down, to such an extent. It seems to last a few days and then a few days of being down. But it's surely not that normal to wake at 3am, be buzzing all day doing physical work, running etc and all hyper and then not tired after, for several days. I feel I'm treading on eggshells as well, as he can be so snappy impulsive and irritated at times. I wonder about the meds he's on and the stress of work and the inflammatory bowel disease. Sure I read MH can be associated with inflammation and stress. It would make sense.

I don;t think I need to 'forgive him'- I'm concerned about him!

Yes, he goes on and on about certain topics and gets annoyed if I'm not paying attention! It's really wearing. For ages, I sometimes need to leva eh room to escape! Then the next day will be totally silent. It's really stressful.

Not sure if can talk to doc about others, tbh. He wouldn't like me to do that. Maybe I can speak to him about it.

I think in the past people learned to mask their symptoms. My father did. He was either euphoric or totally down sometimes many times in one day. Thank God there is more treatment and knowledge now. He would also open businesses which were very successful but he couldn't keep at anything. He never had any help or support.

Sounds if not bipolar it could be borderline personality disorder which is a less severe but still serious condition

I'm aware of BPD as think my mum has it and see the possible similarities, such as the 'treading on eggshells' thing. However I think personality disorders tend to be life long and this has been a change. I don;t think he has some of the other traits of BPD.

You say that, but I was first diagnosed with depression at 11. I'm late 20s now, and only in the last year has it been confirmed that all this time it's been bipolar. It's hard to diagnose unless you've got the right people and information in front of you. After almost 20yrs, and two thirds of my life... I know now what I've always been. I just have the name for it, which gives me the answers I've needed. Your dh may be the same... he may not be. But he certainly sounds like he needs some professional support.

Honestly, this sounds like an interaction between someone who feels like when he opens up his partner finds it annoying. . I Love talking, and have found that around talkative people I talk lot and relax, around non talkative people I can drive communication sometimes but can feel very watched, disapproved of and freakish around non talkative or introvert people.
The horrible thing is that if you are wondering if he is bipolar, you aren't genuinely connecting with him in conversation, he will sense that and this will depress him.
My sister was diagnosed with bipolar and if she got angry, she was ignored, if she was talkative people would stop her mid flow and make her feel like she should shut up, and her boyfriends family would treat every thing she said as ridiculous, so she could never just be. She became her 'disease', but I work in management, and people pretty much always become whatever expectations you place on them.
A friend of mine thinks ks of himself as normal, but he's an uncommunicative silent person, if I meet him for a drink, there's no input from him, so I just talk away. Recently he has read something about bipolar and thinks I have racing thoughts and uninterrupted speech. I do, because he is boring. Around chatty interactive people I'm normal.

I have another friend who is normal, but alcoholic. Diagnosed as bipolar because he gets hangovers, but tells his psychiatrist he has regular cycling depressive episodes.. But doesn't tell him he drinks to oblivion 1-2 days before his depression/disconnected thoughts.
I went round to his after a really brilliant day at work, and looking and he hold, my upbeat chatting ss had been relayed to everyone as 'like me when I am manic' so everyone connected with him started interacting differently with me because of my 'episode'
It's very dangerous to watch and diagnose moods and periods of feeling yourself v periods of work, stress or worry, and labelling them disorders.
It's more of a disorder to expect everyone to stay in one mood all the time or be caregirised as mental. That's just sinister