to think my DD may have ADHD?

[mommy101]

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N/C for privacy. My DD has just turned 5 and ever since I can remember she has always seemed 'difficult'. She's a vibrant, creative and lovely polite little girl but is VERY demanding. My DM has said to me in the past that she thinks DD may have a mild form of ADHD and I just sort of brushed it off but to be honest, I'm starting to think she may be right. Obviously I know MN can't diagnose but some advice and thoughts would be really appreciated! The main things she does that makes me think there may be something more going on are:

Constant moving, absolutely cannot sit or stand still.... ever, can't relax and stay still, fidgets all the time, doesn't follow directions barely ever and repeats the same things she's been told not to do over and over and over again regardless of consequences and various parenting styles, this has been going on for years and years, asks to do or play with things over and over even when I've repeatedly said no, constantly talks and seems to be unable to stay quiet for longer than 1 minute, asks questions and often repetitive questions which have already been answered numerous times, smirks when told off or told not to do something, sometimes she'll look straight through you when your trying to explain something, always been a late developer in a lot of aspects (writing, reading, potty training, wetting bed etc) but exceptional at maths, cries over the slightest silly often irrelevant thing and constantly wants our attention amongst other things (she just cannot have her own 'me' time or play by herself for a while and unfortunately, this is exhausting ) and always interrupts conversations and feels the need to always be 'in' them (DH and I can't cuddle in front of her otherwise she always conveniently wants a cuddle too although she gets lots of her own) and finally talks really really loud and can't seem to talk 'quietly' (hearing check at school came back fine....)

Please help one tired out mum!

Your ds sounds exactly like my son who's also just turned 5. TBH I think it's just quite a challenging age. They're coming to the end of their first full school year and are tired. My ds is totally full on and totally exhausting. But I also have a 9 yo ds who DOES have add and asd, and they're poles apart. I've never worried about my youngest in that respect because I can see all the areas he does thrive in. He's very sociable and funny, has lots of joy in his life, he's just a whirlwind. My Sen child is totally different. I don't want to put you off persuing a diagnosis if that's what you feel is best, but it is a long hard road you'll have ahead of you, getting diagnosed is so so hard. I'd give it a little while yet and see if school raises any concerns

I have a dd with ASC and ADHD. She sounds similar. What do school/nursery think? Is she concentrating there? How are her friendships?
We did lots of things together and were careful not to overwhelm her. Never more than three instructions at once. Got down to her level and talked to her, made her repeat instructions back to me. Picked our battles carefully. I have to say at 20, some of the things still apply, she got her A levels and her uni place though. Lots of positives and talk to school is my recommendation.

From what you wrote she just sounds like a regular 5 year old, but you know her best, so just go with your instincts, if your worried at all speak to school & health workers x

My DD is very similar, she's very demanding, constant screams and tantrums but can also be a very cuddly and loving little girl. She's delayed in her speech and language, understanding and gross motor skills. Also clumsy and tires after walking short distance. I want a diagnosis for her but doctors are reluctant to give her one til age 5, but we all can see somethings not right.

Thank you sloane. I agree that this is a tricky and challenging age but this seems to have been the same since she could walk and hasn't really changed. She was also quite a difficult baby too. From having other children over to play and watching other children at the park etc she just seems 'different'. I feel awful for saying that and it's probably the wrong word to use but it seems the only way I can describe it. I hope your DS grows out of this stage soon for you!! And glad your other DS is now diagnosed and getting the help he needs. Thanks again

Thank you for your reply Dawn. School reports and parents evenings have mentioned the whining and emotions over very small things and also her lacking slightly behind in writing, reading, using scissors etc... she's also been deemed a 'chatterbox'. Thank you for your advice. If you don't mind me asking, what actions that my DD does does your DD do?

Thanks showme, totally get what your saying but I truly don't think she is... only because of being around lots of other children her age who seem completely different in a whole bunch of ways

for you demi, I truly understand what your going through. I just feel guilty all the time as I get so frustrated and agitated by the constant 'go' IYSWIM. Plus the demanding etc... it's really utterly exhausting and I just feel awful that I can't seem to meet absolutely all of her needs but if I did, I'd be burnt out and no good to anyone. Like you, I really feel there's something not quite right, my DM has said it for ages but I guess I was scared to admit it and wanted to see how another year changed things...

Oh and Dawn you mentioned friendships..... she is VERY shy but has made friends eventually. She constantly 'copies' them though, every little thing they say and do and I mean ALL the time and I think some of her friends get frustrated with that as they've picked up on it...

She needed constant attention and reassurance. She was actually very early with speech, walking and potty training. However very late with reading and writing, turned out she is dyslexic as well.
She was always on the go, always needing to be part of whatever was going on, rarely slept. She too would push us apart if we had a hug. She's a whizz at sciences and memorised the table of elements at ten, because she's interested. If she's interested she can do it, so it was about encouraging things that held her interest. She was often over emotional, but tough when you wouldn't expect her to be. A nurse if someone fell over, tough if she fell over, but unconsolable if someone called her a name, ruined some work, or is she ruined it. Never bothered by lost things. The list is endless!

We had a list on the door: Remember PE Kit, Lunch, Homework, Pencil Case.
A list on the bathroom mirror, wash, dry, clean teeth.
And so on.
But as others have said, do talk to professionals. If you have serious concerns, don't let them brush you off.

Thanks dawn most of that sounds very similar. My DD also really struggles to stick to doing one thing, she can't seem to concentrate for more than a certain amount of time before wanting and eager to move onto something else but like your DD, if it interests her or she particularly enjoys it she can sometimes stick at it and complete the task in hand. Starting to think a talk with the school nurse about my concerns may be the way forward. I just hope they don't think I'm crazy or incompetent

I'm sure they won't and I'm sure you're not, you're just trying to get the best for your dd, to ensure that she can reach her full potential.

Have a read through this?

www.addiss.co.uk/allabout.htm

Thanks Dawn

Thank you JS, DD seems to tick almost all those boxes

Sorry to hear about your dd my ds has both asd and ADHD, some of what your describing is indicative of ADHD but most of it sounds more like a normal child. Does she sleep well? Have the school mentioned getting her an assessment? If not talk to them but be prepared to be told no she's just a slightly cheeky /naughty child (it's easier for the school )

Thanks stressed, the school haven't really mentioned anything other than she is lagging behind in some things and the fact her emotions are strong over very small things. And yes, that's what I'm guessing will happen but you know when you know there's something not quite right.... that's how I feel, I can't explain it

I know ds was at nursery when his behaviour was 1st comented but it took 3 years for a diagnosis 😯 and this was fast tracked! Keep at them until they listen or get so fed up of the same conversation with you and refer her

Thank you and I will do