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AIBU?

To think parents should teach their kids to queue?

29 replies

Goodluckjonathan76 · 10/07/2017 16:15

Just came back from an outing with DCs (9 and 7). We came out of state and walked to bus stop where there was a queue so we joined the end and waited our turn to get on. As the queue starts moving, a princess (sorry, woman) walks up to the front of the line with her 2 DCs who are the same age as mine (I know as DS1 said later that the older child was in his year at school (but not class) and pushes on board. Some people looked a bit pissed off, others just let her. AIBU to feel really irked that I try to teach my kids manners and that, because we are all able bodied, we don't have the right to push past people who are also waiting to board first. I have seen other parents with kids do this and really don't get it. If you are elderly or there is another reason you can;t stand for more than a few minutes then fine but not sure why parents think they have priority over everyone else.

OP posts:
Goodluckjonathan76 · 10/07/2017 16:15

We came out of the "station" not "state"! Bloody spell check.

OP posts:
timeforabrewnow · 10/07/2017 16:16

Did you ask her why?

Goodluckjonathan76 · 10/07/2017 16:20

No but I couldn't get but give her an annoyed look.

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simplysleepy · 10/07/2017 16:36

of course, yang


but, to play devil's advocate.....
you have said that you wouldn't mind if there was another reason she couldn't stand. if you didn't ask her, you wouldn't know if that was the case, and so cannot really say without a doubt that she was able bodied. it may not be a case of a parent thinking they are entitled, but that of a woman who is less physically able and just happens to have children

simplysleepy · 10/07/2017 16:39

yanbu* oops

Goodluckjonathan76 · 10/07/2017 16:54

I think that might be clutching at straws sleepy. She was around 40 and no obvious disability. Yes she could have something that isn't visible to the eye but she looked in good health and I have no reason to think otherwise. It is tempting to say something but I wouldn't be confrontational with my kids around.

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BishopBrennansArse · 10/07/2017 16:57

Please consider invisible disability- either hers or one of the kids.
If none exists it's not great but hey most of society are selfish - people always shove past me in my chair.

Toysaurus · 10/07/2017 17:00

People with invisible disabilities don't usually behave like that. ASD family here. Queuing is very hard but what's worse for us is rule breakers who push in without explanation. She was rude. I mourn the loss of an orderly queue.

Goodluckjonathan76 · 10/07/2017 17:02

DS1 knows of one of the kids at school. Don't think he has any form or disability, nor did the younger child. They managed to push past a load of people, including older less able people, pretty quickly with no problem.

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MeanAger · 10/07/2017 17:05

No but I couldn't get but give her an annoyed look.

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ that will have shown her!

Parents do teach their DC to queue. What you encountered was nothing to with her being a parent and all to do with her being selfish and feeling entitled to queue jump.

Goodluckjonathan76 · 10/07/2017 17:07

Sorry to hear that BishopsB. I don't know what is wrong with people. The other day on the tube as well - a lady of 80+ on her feet, swaying around. No one stood up to offer her a seat. Really sickening. Most the time I put it down to morons with no manners but I was more shocked today as this woman seem to think having kids was a reason to jump the queue plus she is setting a bad example for her kids. I don't, and have never seen it like that. When my DCs were babies in buggies or slings we still queued. Why should it be a reason to get on before others?

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corythatwas · 10/07/2017 17:10

surely if you needed to pass to the front of the queue because of disability you would say "excuse me"?

my dd had exactly the kind of disability that might be relevant here: I still wanted her to grow up with manners

disability and no manners would have seemed like a bit of a double whammy

Goodluckjonathan76 · 10/07/2017 17:12

MeanAnger, I don't think she saw the look or was deliberately looking away. She had a massively superior air to her. The type who talks in a loud condescending voice to her children so that we all know what an amazing mother and person she is.

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corythatwas · 10/07/2017 17:13

according to dd, though (2 years of working in coffee shop), the worst queue jumpers tend to be middle-aged men, and the very worst are the teachers at the local secondary school: the way dd tells it, they seem to think the whole rest of the world are pupils who should just move out of their way

FrancisCrawford · 10/07/2017 17:15

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrancisCrawford · 10/07/2017 17:15

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BishopBrennansArse · 10/07/2017 17:15

Toys agreed. We don't either. If DS barges through and one of us has to follow the other will always apologise. But as a rule people are more selfish now and teaching their kids to be the same way.

Goodluckjonathan76 · 10/07/2017 17:16

Yep, seen those too Cory. I once saw a lovely old lady having a go at someone who had jumped the queue. This person was super embarrassed and the lady was grilling him over why he thought it was ok to push in front of everyone. It was fantastic. I wish she had been there today.

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ShastaBeast · 10/07/2017 17:17

I doubt my kids' school friends would know that I have a physical disability making me unable to stand on a bus, nor that one child has additional needs. You often can't tell I struggle and I'm a few years below 40 too. I carry a fold up stick just in case I get challenged or have to stand longer than a few minutes.

However, it likely its is just selfishness. In london there's far more selfishness than elsewhere in the U.K. in my experience (lived here for over ten years). But also I've never seen an actual queue for a bus, more a huddle free for all. Just keep teaching your kids as there's little we can do about other people.

Goodluckjonathan76 · 10/07/2017 17:18

Had I been closer to the front when she pushed in then I would have said something but I was half way down the queue at the time. I did think about saying something once we got on but decided not to as a I didn't want a confrontation in front of DCs.

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chips4teaplease · 10/07/2017 17:18

I've had a go at old ladies for queue-jumping. Besoms.

Goodluckjonathan76 · 10/07/2017 17:22

Do you chips? I don't mind anyone older and less physically able pushing in.

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MissionItsPossible · 10/07/2017 17:22

Why should it be a reason to get on before others?

Because presumably nobody pulls her up on it so she continues to do it. If all I had to contend with was someone giving me "annoyed looks" then I'd push past people all the time if it means getting a seat. Of course I wouldn't though because I'm not entitled and have manners

Goodluckjonathan76 · 10/07/2017 17:24

Mission, for further background, I did once say something politely to a woman who shoved in front of me and the entire queue when I was on my way home from work. This woman then attacked me when I got off the bus. I reported it to the police but they didn't follow up as the bus company had already destroyed the CCTV. So I have good reason for being cautious about confronting someone.

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chips4teaplease · 10/07/2017 17:26

Do you chips? I don't mind anyone older and less physically able pushing in
Marvellous. Put that on a t-shirt so I don't miss your gullible face when I'm queuing. My hair is white. I have a list of disabilities as long as your arm, though they're all 'invisible'. But, hey hey MN, I am on the spectrum.

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