To expect the unemployed party in a relationship to take on the bulk of the household chores?

[PlayOnWurtz]

Just wondering what the general consensus was and whether it's different if it's the man or woman at home.

It depends. I don't think it's ever fair for one person to do all of the housework. Even if they are unemployed without kids/not job hunting.

Quite. Which is why as I am disabled as in mobility impaired as well as being deaf and autistic I use my PIP on a cleaner. I need to focus any energies I have on caring for the kids and it's not fair to expect DH to pick up the slack when he's been up most of the night with the kids.

Interesting replies. I'm definitely not a journo I've been here for years! My issue is one party works and has disabilities the other doesn't work and the children are secondary school age.

But are they 'unemployed' as in actively looking for work, or are they SAHP as that is what financially suits the family? For me at least it was not clear from your OP.

I think it depends a lot on how they got to that stage. In general I think it's reasonable for both people to pull their weight. But if, for instance, one person has dropped their career in order to support the other person in chasing a dream - maybe by moving or being a SAHP for years, then the "deal" may not have included the person giving up on their own financial security also taking on becoming housekeeper for them both. And I don't think it's as unreasonable then for the person who isn't working to do less than they might of if it was what they'd actually wanted to do, or if they hadn't sacrificed in other ways.

*might have

Goddamnit Pictish's thread has me mistyping now.

If unemployed, healthy adult with no small children then yes they should do more housework but do need to prioritise job hunting (and any available training or interviews)

If not working due to being SAHP for pre-school age children or due to disability then the expectations will be very different

Yes of course they should. DH and I have both supported each other through periods of unemployment and the one at home did the housework, cooking, shopping, school runs as well as job hunting. Obviously it's different if there is an illness/high needs child or something of the sort, but an able bodied adult with kids at school shouldn't really be sitting at home all day then expect the other partner to come home from work and start cooking and cleaning

Choosing not to work, having been a SAHP or actively seeking work and can't find decent employment?

An unemployed person who is not spending time looking for employment should be doing all of the housework in the week, IMO. Weekend tasks can be shared.

It depends - are they out of employment through choice?

I was a SAHM and did all the household chores - quite happily - as ex-DH was earning enough to allow me the luxury of being a SAHP!

still a lot of unanswered questions:

is this a longterm situation?

is the unemployed person actively job-hunting?

are they on jobseekers?

are they doing anything to enhance their CV?

Is there suitable, accessible work for this unemployed individual, though? (By accessible I mean something that the person has the right skills to do, that is near enough to home for it not to cost a fortune in travel, that is reasonably secure etc). Is the employed partner able to take time off work at short notice to deal with things like DC getting ill at school, or inset days? Is the unemployed partner able to get a job that won't leave the family worse off by a reduction in benefits and increased childcare cost?

Also, going back to the actual subject of your OP: is the unemployed partner doing some domestic work/no domestic work/all the domestic work while the employed partner comes home and sits on the sofa watching TV?