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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In wishing ill people could have some manners?

23 replies

Loopyloppy · 10/07/2017 14:34

Gah.

Am I being unreasonable in thinking if you're ill you make a slight effort to avoid people. Or at least tell them. Angry

We had friends over for dinner on Thursday, their baby was crawling all over the house, drooling on all of ds's toys. They kept giving him to me to hold. They were here for about 4 hours.

As they're leaving the Mum says "I have a confession to make, we're just at the tail end of an awful flu/cold bug, we've both been so sick." Angry

Fast forward to now and both ds and I have come down with it. We had a ton of stuff planned for this week which we now can't do, will be letting people down and losing money. If dh comes down with it we'll be fucked as this is he busiest week of the year workwise when we earn the most money. Which they are very aware of.

I'm not one of these 'keep kids indoors when they have a mild cold' type but I do think if two have you have been pretty ill it's manners to at least give people a heads up on it. And certainly not let your sick kid plaster everything in germs. Why do people not have basic fucking common sense?

OP posts:
PJBanana · 10/07/2017 14:44

I feel for you OP. Pisses me off no end this sort of stuff.

We had this with MIL. Insisted on coming to DN's 5th birthday party even though she'd had noro just before. DN, DP and a handful of DN's friends all came down with it within a couple of days.

I also work with a woman who has no boundaries or respect for personal space. She's constantly ill and seems to make a habit of standing right next to/breathing on me whenever she is Hmm

Really hope you and your DS feel better soon and that your DH manages to avoid it!

joojoobean99 · 10/07/2017 14:51

Yeah, I think it's really rude when people don't tell you that they're ill. We went to a friends house the night before going on holiday a few years back, and the friend failed to tell us that their DC had a vomiting bug but hadn't been sick in a few hours so was probably ok now! 24 hours later when we get to our hotel I started being sick and was then ill for the remainder of our holiday. All it would've taken was a quick text prior to us going over there just to let us know DC had been ill and then we could've made our own decision whether to risk it or not. It's just really bad manners, I think.

Rumtopf · 10/07/2017 15:18

I hate it, it makes me properly cross.
All it takes is a quick message to say they've been poorly with whatever, do you still want to meet or postpone?

I had this with family who would have a sniffle, I'd then go on to have a really heavy cold with sinus and chest infections and be ill for weeks. The last time it happened it prevented me from attending my uncle's funeral and I had choice words with the offender.

dollydaydream114 · 10/07/2017 17:05

Don't get me started on martyrs who stagger into work with sickness bugs and streaming colds and then give it to everyone else in the office.

Someone I worked with once decided that she would 'hotdesk' at my desk while I was in a meeting that morning because my desk was warmer and she was shivering with a feverish cough/cold/throat infection. Needless to say, after she'd been using my phone and keyboard all morning while sneezing and coughing everywhere, I came down with it too. I wanted to kill her as it was an absolutely horrendous, flu-like bug and ruined a rare weekend visit from my parents that I'd been looking forward to for months.

IloveBanff · 10/07/2017 17:11

This selfish woman knew how wrong they were being by saying "I have a confession to make.......etc" as they were leaving! I think that's outrageous. What a horrible thing to do.

ConstanceCraving · 10/07/2017 17:20

Why on earth did she tell you? Get better quickly Brew

Fluffyears · 10/07/2017 17:21

It really annoys me. I have a close family member having chemotherapy and is immuno suppressed and abgirk at work is in with a bad virus...struggling on being a martyr.

BigDamnHero · 10/07/2017 17:22

YANBU.

Like you, I'm not one for bitching and moaning about anyone with a slight cold or cough daring to leave the house but something that requires time off work/school etc. needs to be disclosed.

My mum cancelled a planned visit a few months back because I gave her fair warning we were all recovering from a nasty flu bug. She actually ended up with a cracked rib in Winter from a really bad cough, which she'd only just recovered from at the time. It was disappointing but it was totally reasonable of her not to want to risk it and I'd give the same warning again.

missiondecision · 10/07/2017 17:24

Selfish bastards.

ethelfleda · 10/07/2017 17:24

YANBU! If that was me, I would have earned you before hand of the illness and asked you if you would prefer to rearrange. Stuff like this really pisses me off!

OfficerVanHalen · 10/07/2017 17:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CigarsofthePharoahs · 10/07/2017 17:35

I used to work with someone like this. They used to drag themselves in regardless.
Then they'd spend the day moaning about how ill they felt. Suffice to say, my sympathy dried up after they passed their bugs on to me multiple times and I ended up with a chest infection.
If you're feverish or vomiting or the other end then for goodness sake stay at home! Nobody else wants it.

minionsrule · 10/07/2017 17:37

My dsis was due to come over friday night for an event on saturday but she had hsd a stinking cold so said she would just get up early and drive over Saturday as event was mostly outdoors so less risk.
Op yanbu

Heatherjayne1972 · 10/07/2017 17:40

Oh yes how I agree
I get people ( patients) all the time coughing and spluttering on me at work
'You don't mind do you?' Yes I Mind !! And so do all the other patients coming in after you
If you're ill - stay at home

Idratherhaveacupoftea · 10/07/2017 17:58

My auntie turned up with my two cousins when I was a 9 month old baby, when they were suffering with whooping cough. Needless to say I was struck down with it and was extremely ill for several weeks with the gp coming in every day (this was when they did house calls, back in the day) My mum never forgave her, this was before the vaccine I hasten to add.

Twopeapods · 10/07/2017 18:40

YANBU.
I hate this. Had this a lot with a friend with a DD the same age as mine. Hers would gets colds and sniffles and she would never say before visiting, but my DD would always have it go to her chest and ears and would get it really bad. She's 5 and hasn't changed. She still gets everything worse than her 2yo sister.

LuxCoDespondent · 10/07/2017 18:44

YANBU. People like your "friends" are utter scum. You should either cut all contact with them, or take your revenge in kind next time you get ill (it will be a waste to do it now, presumably they've built up some immunity).

Original poster
Loopyloppy · 10/07/2017 20:49

Lol at shutting them up in their houses! Grin

Dh is coming down with it now. Funny how he was so 'whatever' about it this morning and now he thinks they're the anti Christ.

That was the worst bit, that she was totally aware it wasn't the done thing!

They knew we had a bunch of stuff booked this week. Fuckers. Angry

OP posts:
Original poster
Loopyloppy · 10/07/2017 20:51

I went to a baby group with ds when he was 6 weeks (first time I'd left the house) and there were two toddlers there who had whooping cough. And their parents knew. I don't know what the actual fuck some people think in their heads sometimes.

OP posts:
Joannabelle123 · 10/07/2017 22:58

This really pisses me off. My 6mo ds has bronchiolitis atm. (he was a preemie and quite poorly)

MIL stopped with us for a night this week just before he became ill and has just said "oh yeah I've had a terrible chest infection for ages. Can't seen to get rid. Poor little mite"

Grrrr

BouncyFlouncy · 10/07/2017 23:07

My mum is one for this, waits until we get in the house and have been sitting in the front room with her for a while before announcing 'I'v had/got a sick bug etc hope none of you get it. Makes me so cross as by then it's probably too late and I have a very weak immune system due to my chronic conditions. We only live locally and see her all the time so it's not as if it's a special visit.

melissasummerfield · 10/07/2017 23:16

URGH! i work in HR and constantly do return to works with people who are still sick, I cant stand it! I have just done one with someone who has had D&V for 4 days and has come back to work still crapping for England and hasn't seen a Doctor... why why why??!!

HappyAxolotl · 10/07/2017 23:44

My housemate came down with a respiratory tract infection that needed antibiotics but didn't tell the rest of us.

I had a bit of a sniffle for about 2 weeks but had plans to stay with my aunt & uncle then stay with a friend for a long weekend. I warned them in advance I had a bit of a cold and dosed up on cold & flu capsules.

A few days later I started with pain from the neck up. Went to the doctor and was prescribed penicillin. Felt better for about 10 days then got ill again. Long story short, I'm now on my 3rd course of antibiotics to try to get rid of this.

I'm diabetic and my immune system is knackered, infections take hold easily and are tough to shift and they mess up my blood sugars as well. If my daft housemate had told us what was wrong with him I would have seen the doc as soon as I started coughing and sneezing and maybe I wouldn't have been so badly infected and had over a month of serious ear and throat pain.

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