About my sister?

[SweetieBaby]

Our parents are quite elderly now and are needing more help. My DS and I both live very close to them so distance isn't the problem. She sees them regularly and helps out etc etc. The problems occur when something happens and they suddenly need more help. DS just carries on as normal, leaving me to deal with everything. She doesn't ask me to do it but if I don't who will?

I don't want to argue with her( and I know if I so much as mention it there will be a row) and if I say anything to my parents they tell me that they will manage, rather than inconvenience me, which upsets me.

Aibu? And what can I do about it?

Have you asked her for help when needed? If not that's probably why she leaves you to it

I have asked, but she always has an excuse why she can't do it. I just let it go then. I know if I push it there will be an argument. (I've learnt this the hard way, from previous experience).

She always says that she doesn't ask me to do it and if I don't want to then I shouldn't do it.

Yanbu, but I don't think there's much you can do other than ask her, which you already have. I suppose keep asking every time it happens? If it's happening regularly that your parents need extra help, is there any way of them getting regular help from someone else? That sounds so vague, but it depends on what exactly they need help with. My elderly granny now has careers come in to help her twice a day and also a weekly cleaner. It's really helped.

Carers not careers!

Thanks Decaff

They don't need regular carers at all, day to day. It's just when something major happens, like illness or hospital appointments. Problem is that this is happening more frequently as they get older