Desperate for help regarding returning after maternity leave

[BertAndKhloe]

I have got myself in such a state regarding all this. I can't sleep or eat
When I was pregnant with DD I was very very anxious and convinced she would be stillborn.
I agreed to go back to work in September full time. When speaking to HR she said I could possibly go down to part time after the Christmas holidays (I'm a teacher). I assumed (stupidly) this message had been passed on to the head but it hasn't.
I have childcare arrangements until Christmas because I told my family that I would be able to go part time after that. My mum and partners mum who are helping cannot help after Christmas.
Also now that she is alive and her I would quite like to spend time with her. I feel I'm going to miss everything she does to be with other people's kids! DH is now working away 5 days a week which is unexpected.
Am I being unreasonable to write a letter asking to go part time after Christmas ?

When you say you spoke to someone in HR, what do you mean? Very few schools have their own HR teams. If you work in one that does and someone in HR told you you could reduce to part time after Christmas, refer to that in your letter. Otherwise, was it part of the HR team at your council or academy group? If so, that probably has less weight.
Rather than say you are flexible on the days you can work etc, have a think about what you want to do and make that you starting point. If family members are doing childcare, what days do they prefer? Is there a particular toddler group you want to take your child to on a particular day? Do any friends with similar age children work part time and, if so, is there a particular day when they are off & you'd like that as a day off?
How do you envisage working three days a week will work for the school? You need to make them see how it would work for them to reduce the chances of them refusing it. This will depend on whether it is primary or secondary. There are several teachers doing a job share at my DC's primary & they all have different systems for the handover. If in a secondary, will they be able to arrange the table so you are allocated 0.6 classes and give those classes all of the lessons they need in a that subject (possibly if something like history; probably not if something like maths) or will your classes have another teacher who also teaches them that subject? If the latter, how will you handover? If secondary, were you previously a form tutor, would you expect to be so again and how will that handover work?

I would be specific, as in I would like my working days/hours to look like x however I would be happy to discuss this further with a view to reaching a mutually convenient arrangement that meets mine and the schools needs.

I would also ask for a start date rather than saying you're happy to work until x date - so, if agreed I would like this arrangement to start on x date/as soon as possible. In trying to sound like you're being reasonable you come across as unsure.

Legally they need to consider your request, the clearer and more specific you are the easier it is for them to see how what you're asking for might fit fit the school and saying you're open to discussion gives enough wiggle room. It's ok to ask for what you need in plain language and let them work things out at their end.

Hi @BertAndKhloe

I've just sent you a PM - you might find bits of it useful

"Can they sack me if they say I can't do part time?"

They can't sack you for asking the question, no. Obviously you may choose to resign if they can't accommodate your request to change your hours, but that would be your decision.

"If...someone in HR told you you could reduce to part time after Christmas, refer to that in your letter."

Someone in HR told her she could possibly work part time, which carries no weight at all.

I wouldn't include anything about your need to meet child care responsibilities. That's your issue, not theirs.

If I'm knit picking, I'd also look at your first sentence.
"I am writing to discuss the possibility of a change to my working hours from full time (100/100ths) to three days per week (60/100ths) with effect from 1st January 2018.

Supply might be tricky for you because it's usually short notice, which would impact on your child care. You have every right to ask for a variation to your contract, but the Head equalkyvhas very right to say that a change would not be beneficial to the school.

Much will depend on how much she would like to retain you as a teacher and how she feels about job shares and part time working. It's a good idea to stress the importance of your experience in the school, but don't mention your child care. The Head will disregard that. It's irrelevant to the smooth running of the school.

You've committed to a full time term until the end of the Autumn term and have child care in place, so if it doesn't work out, you can resign by October 31st to leave on 31st December.

What reason do I state for wanting to go part time? Is because I want to spend time with my daughter reason enough? What have other people stated?

You don't have to give a reason at all.

No need to give a reason, but you could say family responsibilities or something if you like. It'll be obvious anyway.