To wish dd was more confident

[Trixiebelle16]

Dd is five and painfully shy. She has latched onto one girl who is her best friend but the friend totally dominates her and if she decides at playtime that she wants to play with someone else then dd is left all by herself (my friend is a lunchtime supervisor). She shys away from approaching other children. The other children seem so much more confident- they effortlessly mix with each other and have fun and it breaks my heart watching her hang back and wait desperately for her friend to arrive. Has anyone else had a child like this and did things get better?

I was like that all through primary school...English being my second language probably didn't help, and completely changed aged about 14 when I got a lovely set of friends who are still my best friends now.

I'm now the kind of person that loves hosting and thinks nothing about addressing an auditorium full of people.

So just because she's not confident now, doesn't mean it'll always be this way :)

Agree with PP - I was incredibly shy as a kid, and now my job involves a lot of public speaking and meeting new people.

Dd was like that but now at 7 she's much more confident. You just have to let her develop at her own pace. It takes time to learn how to make friends for some kids.

My dd has always been very confident, but I was that painfully shy child when I was younger. I think the best thing you can do is accept the shyness and not criticise it while giving your dd plenty of opportunities to push out of her comfort zone.

In some ways, I'm still quite shy now but I have learnt to fake it in most situations and most people would never realise.

One of my friends had a little girl like this and they found that drama lessons and joining rainbows/brownies massively helped with the confidence issue.

My dd who is now 8 was like this stagecoach (stageschool) had massively improved her confidence as has rainbows and brownies. It also then encourages different friendship groups too.

Thanks all. It breaks my heart to think of her alone and being pushed away but you have given me hope that it won't always be this way x

Could you use the summer as a chance to master new skills to give her confidence? Bike/ swimming/ etc or some activities at the library etc?

DD is quite shy, but this school year (year one) has helped to build her confidence.

We discussed this in parents evening, and her teacher has encouraged her to speak up in class, take a speaking part in assemblies etc, which has helped. The school also have a 'playground buddies' system for children on their own, and encourage children to play together at play time (if they want to).

She's also been doing football and dance classes, which I think have helped.

Maybe speak to her teacher next year if things are still the same?