Annoyed!

[RubaDubMum89]

Ugh. So I spent yesterday (from 5am as this is when DD gets up) doing lots of hard graft. Cleaned the house from top to bottom, did numerous loads of washing, pegged out, brought in, folded away blah blah. Then I started on the garden. By the time I started on the garden it was about 9am, DD was having a snooze and DP had just got up.

Our garden is a shambles at the moment, DP has been saying for long enough he'll get round to it...

So anyways, I've moved the lawn, done the edges, weeded some, cut back all the ivy, cut down bushes and random branches hanging about (DD was out with me and playing in her pram when she woke up), then I've decided it's time to sort out our shed which was in dire need of tlc. So, off we've gone to B and Q to get supplies. Came home, I made us all some lunch, then back out to start on the shed. Took a little while to uncover some of it from the ivy over growth, sanded it, primed it, then started painting (pink and blue candystriped haha!). By 7.30 when it was DDs bedtime I'd only got some bits on the front left to do (which I left for another day as I was knackered!).

So DDs in bed, I'm bathed, I've fed us and then I went to bed. Asking DP to bring in the last bits of washing before he came up.

Come down this morning and there it is still... Hanging on the line, in the rain. AIBU to be hugely annoyed about this? I mean, cmon you couldn't have just brought the damn things in? Grrr.

No yanbu
Your husband needs to step up and take on some household chores

Wow OP! You've done more in a MORNING than I have in a month!! I want whatever you're having 😉
But yes, on a serious note, I would be annoyed too. Did he just not hear you, not realise what you mean, forget?? I sometimes have to tell DH something, then again, then ask him to repeat back to me what I've asked. He gets annoyed but I worry he'll just forget otherwise. It's ridiculous.

YANBU. What did he say when you asked him about it? Please don't say he is still in bed so you have not had the chance. What was he doing all day?

He probably wasn't listening! But, our back door is always open from morning until bedtime as we've 3 cats and no cat flap, so, when he's brought the cats in before bed, he's stood in the doorway looking at it! Didn't even think, oh ill just bring this in!
He drives me nuts sometimes. Because I have DD most of the time (SAHM) he mostly has her on a weekend (this one not included as he worked Saturday blah blah) but, he recons he can't get stuff done because he has DD I've said before how do you think the house is cleaned etc and he recons I'm just better at multi tasking than him! If multi tasking counts as strapping DD into the sling on my front whilst I clean or taking her around downstairs in her pram whilst I'm busy, then yes I suppose I am!

What was your husband doing yesterday?

Ball - he's at work already, leaves at 5.30 through the week. Haven't text him yet. He was pottering about doing not much of anything. He did wall mount a telly.... Which didn't need wall mounting! And gave DD a couple of bottles and played with her some in the afternoon hard days work right there!

X post.

He's taking the piss.

You do a lot!! Probably too much! When do you rest. YANBU in that yes he should have helped and brought in the washing.

But you said he has DD at the weekend. What is it he wants to do for himself? granted you're a SAHM but he too works all week? So he does need some down time as do you.

You choose to use your (technically) child free time doing further chores which understandably need doing and it seemed you had DD through a lot of these chores so correct me if I'm wrong but maybe he had his free time then? but he can't be completely useless as he is able to look after his daughter at the weekend.

When you have very small kids some things you just have to let go of a bit - is there any other way to do things so that he and you can both get some down time?

Also can you share the 5am wake up at the weekend?

MOVED the lawn 😂😂😂

Yesterday was an exemption to the rule kind of this, I had DD most of the day because he worked Saturday. I'm not annoyed that he didn't chip in, I'm just annoyed that the one thing I asked he didn't do. I don't mind doing the 5ams as I can't sleep much past that anyways now! 6am is a good lie in for me! Haha.

He does get plenty of free time though, he plays football once a week during the week, I do bedtime every night with DD (she's a right pain to get down, sometimes a good hour before she relents and goes to sleep) so, he comes home from work at 3pm, spends until 6.30-7.30pm with us then after that all night is his own, I do the look ins on her when she crys etc. And, every other weekend he does out for the day/night with his friends (I'm talking leaving the house at 2/3pm and coming home at midnight, sometimes later).

When he has her at the weekend (usually from 12ish each day, maybe abit later) it's mostly so I can do my university work once the chores are done (I went back to uni as an adult - am 28 this year-and have my final exam at the end of the month) which I do really appreciate. Learning/revising with a 7MO is hard haha!

In that case I think YANBU - but overall you both have busy lives and it seems possibly a one off?

Doesn't seem it's his character and you both seem to work it out at other times and have a good partnership.

Maybe just let it go this time - early starts and long days for both of you is hard!

But seems maybe when he gets back from work he should help you with DD more so maybe you can get some revision done before late?

But why on earth did you spend yesterday doing eveything while he wsas fannyhing around?? I wouldn't have. I'd have said, right, we need to do the garden today. We need to mow the lawn, weed, etc. Which do you want to do? Then we would have shared out the jobs.

But, yes, YANBU- he should have taken in the washing at the very least.

I think you do too much. Stop, it's unnecessary. What's the worst that can happen? Enjoy your baby

@Monster: I didn't mind so much, DP had a long week, he worked Saturday because I was ill through the week and he'd had time off to look after DD whilst I was laid up in bed that he needed to make up, also hence why household chores were behind! You know how it is, miss a day and all hell breaks loose. It really was just annoying as hell that the bits of washing were still on the line!

@Yoko: Sunday was just a crazy day, I usually spread the chores (apart from stuff that needs doing daily) over the week. DP is one of those though that if a few bits of mess (grass or whatever, cat hairs) are on the floor the house is automatically a health hazard (his words). It's easier to just keep the place in a decent state than it is to listen to his moaning as it really winds me up. It's not totally unreasonable though, DP is out of the house from 5.30ish until 3, so in theory I should have enough time to see to the chores through the week. Some days don't go to plan do they though!

OP so if his standards are high, he can clean to them!! You might as well not bother. I'd be putting my feet up if I were you but I'm a lazy cow

yoko I'm lucky if he sterilises the bottles on a weekend! Haha. He does take the cat poos out to the bin every morning as he leaves... Pushes the vac around occasionally. Deffo makea more mess than he cleans though!