to hate social media

[shadysharks]

Urgh, just a rant really....

Ds6 is quite raw this weekend as there was a party yesterday which he knew he wasn't invited to even though he thought the boy was going to invite him as they were friends (simplistic 6 year old view) and then today we bumped into some friends who have children in the same class who asked us if we were headed to a party for another child and ds looked crushed and said 'I didn't know X was having a party, I wasn't invited....'

I spent all afternoon trying to stabilise things as he's really starting to notice that no one invites him to any parties or play dates. Lots of people are friendly with him but have other people who they class as his friend. We did lots of role playing around social situations and taking about good friendship traits and not so great to try and help him navigate all this.

After I put him to bed, I stupidly checked social media and there's loads of photos of this party in a hall with half the class that I could see. It's my own fault. I'm trying to not use social media as it just seems to be people rubbing your nose into your own insecurities and now I just feel really bad for ds again.

I can't work out why children just find him invisible. He's the most lovely, caring, bright, happy boy but I can see the spark going out of him if this is what it's going to be like for him

I work 4 days a week so I only really get 1 pick up a week to try and get to know others. Ironically parties are one of these ways to chat to other parents so I guess I lose out as well!! I've joined the pta but there's no one from his year in it but I've met some nice people.

I hope he's ok today. He seemed very wobbly this morning. I just want to scoop him up and take him away from all this stuff, he's only 6 - shouldn't be worrying that people don't like him already ☹️

Part and parcel of being a parent shady . Echoing a PP though, my daughter was never invited to a solitary party at primary school and it always stung a bit for me. High school has been completely different, she has made a new group of friends there and actually enjoys going in.

Ask DS who he'd like to invite over...ask for more than one name. Then on your pick up day, zoom over to the parent...you will need to be a bit of a detective to find them...I used to ask DD...Where's "Tom"? so I could find his parent to say "Hi, DD says she'd love Tom to come over one day..."

Then swap numbers.

Don't worry too much about DS not getting asked back at this point in time. I found that was very normal...lots of parents work full time and just can't do playdates.

It doesn't sound like your DS is a pariah...just that he's not found his tribe yet.

Try to do a playdate a week for a while next year...it's a bit full on I know but it's very good for them.

Over the summer hols do NOT stress about school...he's very small still. Let him enjoy his holiday. If he seemed wobbly then he's probably knackered and ready for a break.

Sorry to drag this thread on...

Poor ds tried to play with a group from his class today and they told him to go away. He told me that it made his tummy feel really funny and he felt sad so he went and sat by himself.

I'm welling up just imagining this.

He's really really wobbly tonight. So glad it's near the end of term for a break.

Hugs to you and your wee one shady. This really scares me how can 6yr old kids be so cruel.

Oh poor boy. That's awful - for both of you. (My #2 son is also having issues at the moment - with his really good friends. I think that they are exhausted because it's the end of term but also it's been so hot that they are not sleeping, thus compounding the exhaustion and they are just not being very nice.)

Can you find out from him whether there are any friends that he would like to see in the holidays and see whether you can do a couple of playdates in the break? Perhaps away from the peer pressure of school these children will realise your DS is lovely and fun to play with and so come the beginning of the new school year, he will have a couple of friends already?

I do think schools need to seriously up their commitment to educating children on social skills and empathy too!

Why for example, don't lunchtime supervisors have any play training? I think they should be trained in play to some extent...and help children play together.