Aibu to love my children but find parenting relentless and depressing

[Moomoomango]

I'm really struggling at the moment - I want to know if my feelings towards parenthood are normal. I love my children so incredibly much, but I hate parenting. I hate that I don't know what I'm doing wrong because my 5 year old hits me, punches me, kicks me and today shot a bow and arrow (plastic unfortunately) at me. I hate that I give them everything - all of my love, time etc and that he still wants to hurt me. I hate that I love him so much I could never lay a finger back so I am becoming a victim - no amount of time out/ reprocussions help. I hate that I am clearly failing them in some way despite trying my hardest.

Parenting sucks the life out of me. I am just a shell dreaming about them turning 18 but dreading it all at the same time.

I've never tried so hard at something and been so shit at something all at the same time.

Is this normal? What is normal? How do I get normal?

Sympathies. Take away anything he uses to hurt you. Build up your relationship with lovebombing (special close time dictated by him) If they are connected to you they are more likely to want to behave for you. We do lots of 'I understand you are feeling xxxx because xxxx. It's ok to feel like this but not OK to hit Mummy. It hurts me and makes me feel sad inside. What do you need to feel better? Cuddle? ( open arms for cuddle) or time by yourself?' It is amazing how often my dd actually wants the cuddle even when she is seething.

Offering a cushion to punch or scream into and doing it with them gives them an outlet for both of your anger and usually makes them laugh too.

I feel the same, and just have a 2 year old DD. I miss my old life immensely and all the freedom and spontaneity I had, especially as hardly any of my friends have children and they're out enjoying that carefree life we used to take for granted. :( I'm just hoping it gets easier too.

Yanbu.

I have a challenging 8 yr old and a stubborn 10yr old. It's never smooth running.