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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Leaving SN son of school for his 5th birthday... Details inside

17 replies

Damonlufc88 · 09/07/2017 15:48

My son is almost 5 and in reception class at mainstream school. All this school year he has only been doing 12:50-15:30 due to him not settling. This, if feel was more requested by the school than me and his mum. Anyway he is leaving mainstream and starts special school in September. We're on my having family and close friends for a party next weekend and his birthday falls a week on Tuesday. With him only doing a few hours is it unreasonable for me to leave him out of school and do something special with him... NOT THAT HE IS AWARE IT'S HIS BIRTHDAY he has little understanding of the world and is on the Autism diagnosis assessment waiting-list. He has a class disco the following day and I know for a fact it will unsettle him (he scarpers anytime he has to go into the school hall, he has very basic language and I don't want him pushing out at other children and ruin their day)

Please don't judge me because it's been a tough year with him only doing part time + with his young brother doing preschool and me and his mum working full time and her almost full time. It would just be nice to do something for the day, seaside or something as a family.

OP posts:
Bumdishcloths · 09/07/2017 15:53

Will doing something that's not school, when he expects school, upset his routine?

If not, then YANBU

stella23 · 09/07/2017 15:55

Or course, as long as he's happy

JennyOnAPlate · 09/07/2017 15:55

Yanbu at all.

Bunlicker · 09/07/2017 15:56

SEaside sounds good :) Take the day off.

Bunlicker · 09/07/2017 15:56

Also he's four, so not even mandatory age yet?

Bunlicker · 09/07/2017 15:57

Although thinking about it will be that day!Grin

Still would though

Allthewaves · 09/07/2017 16:02

I'd send him to school and take him put on the disco day to do something special

TrinityTaylor · 09/07/2017 16:05

You sound like a fab dad and I totally would take him to the seaside or something, if you know he'd enjoy it and not be unsettled by the change. Go for it!

BackforGood · 09/07/2017 16:08

Like AlltheWAves, I would be inclined to take him out on the day of the Disco, if that is something that will overwhelm him / make him anxious, rather than a 'usual' day.

Aeroflotgirl · 09/07/2017 16:09

Go for it, and have a lovely day Smile.

Starlight2345 · 09/07/2017 16:12

Yes they can't fine you till term after they are 5..Do what you think is best for your DS.

VinIsGroot · 09/07/2017 16:16

Yep take him out !!! Ds7 is in SEN school and it is encouraged to do activities with your children?!! The seaside is an education to SN kids!
Have fun...fingers crossed he'll love his SEN so much, he will be able to stay all day!!?

youarenotkiddingme · 09/07/2017 16:19

Yes I'd do it.

I hate all this fining when there's loads of children only going pt because it takes so long to get the support they need.

FoofFighter · 09/07/2017 16:20

Leave him in on his birthday and take him out the following day, when the disco is on? Makes more sense to me?

Mummyoflittledragon · 09/07/2017 16:27

I'd take him out the day of the disco. It makes much more sense. It is still celebrating his birthday and he doesn't know any different so there's no harm done or hiding of facts.

Ameliablue · 09/07/2017 16:29

Leave him in on his birthday and take him out the following day, when the disco is on? Makes more sense to me?

I'd do this too.

Damonlufc88 · 09/07/2017 16:48

Thanks guys overwhelmed with your advice. Also I would have taken him on the disco day BUT the disco is pretty short notice and me and his mum only have the Monday and the Tuesday (birthday) off of work now. I'm going to ask if he can have his regular 1:1 on the disco day but of not I can arrange childcare.
He has a fairly structured routine he would only realise that he wants to go school if he actually goes to the building, he has 0 concept of days of the week and presents/santa clause or any society rules so I'm pretty confident he wouldn't be unsettled.

OP posts:
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