Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if boys go hyper during growth spurts

8 replies

LittleLionMansMummy · 08/07/2017 18:32

Because I'm currently worried about adhd.

He's always been high energy, fiddles incessantly with things etc. But when he goes through a particularly challenging phase he doesn't listen, has to be asked upwards of 3 times to do the simplest task, procrastinates, asks questions and almost immediately forgets the answer you've given him, throws himself around very boisterously and continues to do so even after you've repeatedly asked him not to etc. He's 6 and is currently eating us out of house and home too.

We're having a really difficult weekend because we're visiting in-laws and all they/ we have been doing is nagging and getting cross with him. I don't have any comparison so no idea what the boundaries of normal are. Mil and I get on but her house is like a show house and ds is bored. She has literally zero patience with him.

He'll then go through a really settled phase when he's as good as gold. He's otherwise well mannered, kind, great with people and fantastic with conversations with adults and children and is doing well at school (average or slightly above across the board if it matters) and his teachers have no concerns other than him being a bit silly with his best friend sometimes. They all say how well liked he is - and imo he really is a great kid! They do say he struggles to listen sometimes and is easily distracted/ lacks focus when in the wrong frame of mind.

He definitely goes through phases and I'd describe him as a bit of a roller coaster emotionally but great fun to be around most of the time (but difficult to contain, like he's always bubbling over with enthusiasm). I don't know if this is his character for life, he suffers through growth spurts or there's something else.

He's not naughty, knows right from wrong, is dealt with by us when he goes too far etc but is incredibly impetuous and nothing we say or do can temper it.

OP posts:
SmileEachDay · 08/07/2017 18:46

Mine does. He also becomes superclumsy.

I find treating him in much the same way as a puppy helps - i.e. spending as much times as possible running around in large open spaces. If he's well exercised and well hydrated and not hungry he finds it easier to contain his wriggles.

SnowiestMountain · 08/07/2017 18:48

Are you me? Describing my DS and my MIL?!

I agree with the puppy method, lots of exercise, plenty of food & water and clear simple instructions, this too shall pass

Toysaurus · 08/07/2017 18:54

If he's bored Which is making it a difficult weekend it's not a fair test.

My 6yo DD is with the paed at the moment with ADD concern. Not quite the same but the constant forgetting, day dreaming, fidgeting and distraction drives me mad at the moment.

LittleLionMansMummy · 08/07/2017 19:02

He's been the same at home recently Toysaurus - it's just magnified at mil's because I'd like him to behave well in someone else's house and we're stressed about it. Completely agree about exercise so we went out somewhere today, but mil's choice was a national trust stately home. He ran off some energy but they just found other reasons to nag him and tell him off.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 08/07/2017 19:08

What are the consequences for him if he doesn't listen, or do you just nag until he does? I ask because 6 years of age is a very good time to enact very real and unwavering consequences for children's behaviour. For example, if they don't clean up their toys as asked, no video game time. Whatever. Kids learn fast when concrete consequences are in place for the actions.

SmileEachDay · 08/07/2017 19:49

He ran off some energy but they just found other reasons to nag him and tell him off.

Specifically what?

LittleLionMansMummy · 10/07/2017 10:16

Sorry I've not replied - been laid up with stomach flu and haven't felt like doing anything but sleep.

Aquamarine For listening we do prefer to encourage good listening through a reward based system which actually can work well to a point. For other things the consequences are generally loss of privileges - 3 strikes and he loses something. We also do things like say if he doesn't tidy his toys away when we ask, on the third time of asking they get collected and put away by us for a couple of days. But as I said, he's not really "naughty" as such, it's more the lack of focus and listening. And the noise. He is literally the loudest child I know - enjoys being the entertainer. Which is great in the right situations, but tiresome when not. I don't want him going through school with the reputation of being the class clown.

Smile Mostly fiddling with things - playing catch with a bottle of water, taking his shoes off and trying to play catch with those (we didn't have a ball or toys with us as we rarely stay with the in-laws due to 4 hour drive and their house is not set up for young children, we took some toys but not garden ones), messing around with the dog's extendable lead. They were reluctant to let him walk the dog, which had been keeping him occupied for a while. As I said, he is loud, and I think they also found that wearing. He tried to occupy himself by playing with the dog's toys but got in trouble for being too loud with those too (they were squeaky toys). He does seem to like being surrounded by noise and if there's a silence he'll fill it - by singing, talking, making noises etc.

Anyway, I've come back from there thinking there's something wrong with him since my pil both seemed very questioning of how he is at school, whether teachers have any concerns etc. They were concerned about his attention seeking. To be fair, it was magnified while there and he's nowhere near as bad at home but they don't really make much of an effort to interact with him either. Mil is more of a "let's sit down quietly and discuss school over dinner" woman.

Just for further context, he sees my parents, sisters, bils and auntie far more often (every week), they know him extremely well and they all agree that he's loud, but describe it as a huge zest for life and a massive interest in everyone and everything in it. None of them believe he has other issues and I'm pretty sure they'd express concern if they did.

OP posts:
Quirkyle · 10/07/2017 10:51

Sounds like my 6yr ds. He is (even more) hyper and clumsy when he is growing. I've had a very draining weekend. My oldest is a very plasid boy and my friends 6yr old are plasid too, which can make things difficult as he looks so badly behaved. He has to be told 5/6 times to do anything. Its very draining. I'm consistent and there are consequences for his actions but he is hardwork. Teacher a day he's polite but I'm the go child.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread