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To talk to the parents when they get back?

18 replies

kel1234 · 08/07/2017 15:23

My next door neighbour is a lady and her son. They are moving today. I assume her new partner and his son are helping.
They have gone to the new house I assume to unload the stuff.
The neighbours son and her partners son are next door with another lady who I've never seen before.
Now I have a toddler asleep upstairs.
The children are about 7/8 years old, plus an older boy around 11/12. The son of my neighbours partner ran up to my window and knocked loudly on it, then laughed and ran away inside the house. Then the older boy came and sat on my wall and leaned against my window, and are looking right in (I have nets up anyway, but I ended up closing the curtains as it annoyed me).
Also they are kicking a ball at the low wall in front of their house, and running and jumping at the wall, generally being quite loud. I know I can't dictate what other people do on a public street. But I'm talking about the sitting on my wall and knocking on and looking in my window especially.
WIBU to have a quiet word with the parents when they get back? My neighbour would not be happy about this, as she knows we have a toddler here. Obviously I am not about to have a go at children, especially when the parents are not around. But I highly doubt they would be doing it if the parents were there.
Or should I leave it and say nothing.
Please no having a go at me, I just want a general idea.

OP posts:

beautifulgirls · 08/07/2017 15:27

You can ask the children to stop without "having a go" - sometimes a polite word is all it takes. You can also speak with the adult who is looking after them if the children don't listen.


zzzzz · 08/07/2017 15:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nocabbageinmyeye · 08/07/2017 15:27

Why would you not tell them to stop? It's perfectly ok to do that even if there are no parents around


Floralnomad · 08/07/2017 15:28

Just go out and tell them to go away .


pinkyredrose · 08/07/2017 15:29

Just ask them to stop!


Squishedstrawberry4 · 08/07/2017 15:32

Really nicely say 'hi boys. Dan is sleeping at the moment. Would you mind not banging on the door. Thanks'


RossGellersteeth · 08/07/2017 16:05

Talk to the children, tell them to stop.


Bluntness100 · 08/07/2017 16:08

Just ask the kids to stop, you've got a small kid and leave it at that. You don't need to shut your curtains, hide inside. Let it go on, then complain to the parents.

They are just kids. Just tell em to give t a rest.


DeadGood · 08/07/2017 16:11

You're overthinking it. Ask them to pipe down.
Also - an I right in thinking that these people are moving away? No need to discuss with the parents. It will end your neighbourly relationship on a sour note.


luckylucky24 · 08/07/2017 16:14

No point talking to parents on the day they move out. Just tell the kids to stop messing.


magicstar1 · 08/07/2017 16:15

Aren't they moving out? Just tell them to stop messing at your window etc. I can't see the big deal?


drinkingtea · 08/07/2017 16:21

Just speak (in a normal way) to the children and tell them not to sit on your wall if it bothers you, and certainly not to knock on your window.

Point out you will talk to your neighbor if they don't stop.

As you know your neighbor and know she will be cross, telling the children you will talk to her should be very effective at curbing silly behaviour.


Awwlookatmybabyspider · 08/07/2017 16:25

You can "dictate" that they do not kick balls against your wall or knock on your windows and run away.
I'd call that intimidation.
Can't stand that old chestnut. They're just kids. That's how serious anti social behavior starts. With people making excuses. They know exactly what they're doing. I do blame the parents in cases like this. I'm not saying my dd was an angel. Far bloody from it. Who is, but. She wouldn't have dared disrespected someone's property, and if any neighbours had to complain to my mum about my behavior I'd have a red arse for a month.
God help the next neighbours


user1492528619 · 08/07/2017 16:30

I'd simply open the front door and say. 'Boys, please will you move a bit further down the street, Baby Kel is asleep right above you,' Shut the door, if they continue. 'I asked you to please move down the street, if you keep making so much noise and coming near my house, I'll tell your parents,' If it happened a third time, I'd be at their door and tell the woman as well as their parents well they get back.


user1492528619 · 08/07/2017 16:30

Or I'd send DH, he's far more authoritative than I am


KickAssAngel · 08/07/2017 16:52

I wouldn't even say please. They know they shouldn't do it. I wouldn't be rude, but a quick "stop that, it's annoying" would be my first thing.

I'd only speak to parents if they then wouldn't stop.


drinkingtea · 08/07/2017 19:04

I think this behaviour escalates because people like the OP don't just speak to the kids in a normal way, friendly but firm adult to slightly silly kid, and tell them to stop on the clear assumption they will be listened to.

Nothing to do with making excuses - which nobody at all is doing.

They're just kids is relevant not because it's a licence to misbehave but because the OP is an adult and it should be normal for the adult in this situation to just speak to the kids, not adopt some weird seige mentality and close the nets and fret about whether to "tell on" them, as if they were also 7 years old or their was a gang of aggressive adults banging on the window.

These are small kids, not even teens - and the OP knows the mum won't a defend their behaviour, so why the op didn't just tell them to behave is incomprehensible.


JustMumNowNotMe · 08/07/2017 19:08

Why on earth didn't you just tell them to pack it in?!! Utterly ridiculous!

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