End of year gifts for teachers part 2 was I BU?

[BlondiebyBottle]

A couple of months ago I posted a question here asking if should I give my sons' teacher a leaving gift. I was reticent because when I gave her a gift at Christmas she did not say thank you or offer any acknowledgement. I received a lot of negative replies from teachers (I believe) and probably came across quite negative myself. Since that post I have finally given birth! Brain slowly returning to normal....My sons (twins) are in reception, and I have to say their teacher has been absolutely brilliant with the boys for the past few weeks. I believe now the reason she didn't say thank you was simply because she was distracted! Whatever the reason, I think I overthought the situation. So was I BU? I think so! The teacher in question is getting married at the end of the year and I will be buying her a gift for the end of term!

I'm sorry but being distracted to is no excuse for not saying Thankyou.
Its 2 tiny words. Not a Royal wedding speech.

If I get a box of chocolates or something at the end of term I say thank you to the child. I don't see parents (I teach secondary) so no opportunity there except calling them which isn't possible on the last day of term and taking children's phone numbers off site either written on paper or saved in my phone is a safeguarding concern and highly unprofessional. Don't assume teachers aren't grateful.

Oh dear, Blondie.

Looks like you can't win!

You do what seems best to you. If you feel that she has been great with your boys a gift may be appropriate. What do your twins think about it? Would not taking a gift make them feel left out when other children handed over theirs? Or do they not give a monkey'?

Teachers get loads of presents, many of which land up in raffles etc. Do whatever you think (Or get your boys to make a card - TONS of glitter! That'll learn her )

And many congratulations on your lovely new baby! Boy or girl? Wonderful either way.

Well yes, that's what I thought. It made me feel uncomfortable actually. I received about 30 replies to the thread mainly from teachers implying I was, either not telling the truth or it was my fault in the first place because of my attitude! The responses to my thread really upset me. Thankfully most of the teachers I have come into contact with have been really pleasant people. Anyway I am letting the boys buy her a gift because she has turned out brill.

I was about to start a thread on a similar theme Blondie so I hope you don't mind if I hijack yours.
I am fighting feelings of hurt at the moment. I have been in my stepsons' lives for over 20 years and every year I give them money for their birthdays via bank transfer. So as not to drip feed their DF died 8 years ago. I don't get a thank you. They are both in their late 20s. I would be so happy just to get a quick text to say thanks. Am I expecting too much? I feel mean thinking this way because we do see each other throughout the year, hug, tell each other about what's going on in our lives etc but this bugs me.

I have a beautiful baby girl yay!

She was rude! I love getting any kind of present or card from my kids and always thank them and email their parents to also thank them. It takes a minute.

Congratulations

cassiewoo. Which is great if you have that system. I wouldn't have their email addresses. I thank the child rather than the parents. If I happen to see the parents at pick up time I'd obviously say thank you but baring in mind another parent might stop to talk to me and the other parent might have gone.

I wouldn't expect a thank you directly from the teacher tbh because they might have 30 various gifts all brought on the last day...imagine trying to catch every parent to say thanks!

The only time I've had a thank you was last Xmas when I bought earrings for both ds's teachers after staking out their ears for a few days to see what kind they generally wore.

A lot of people seem to think that kind of gift is odd or too personal but both teachers specifically sought us out to say thank you so I think they went down well in amongst the standard mass of chocolates, candles and mugs. I'm going to do the same this year and get a 'different' gift...a scarf for one and some garden stuff for another.

I get cards ready at the end of the year / for Christmas with a note for the child, and a little gap just in case they bring anything, then I can write thank you for the gift on the day if so. Is she new? It took a couple of years for me to think of that!

In the 13 years I have been giving Christmas and end of year presents to teachers, I have never once received a thank you. However, they have always thanked the child who had given it to them.

I think that's perfectly fine. We generally thank the person giving us the present and that is what they do.

I always thank the child in person. I know parents buy the gift but those I receive always say from the child. I stopped writing thank you notes when I kept finding them in children's drawers several months later, the age group I teach just don't appreciate them! They're much more interested in watching me open their present (especially when they've no idea what they're giving me).

If you see the teacher lots, then she should've thanked you. I don't see parents and would thank the child.

It was the end of term she did not thank my sons either. I gave her the gift as it was a large bouquet of flowers. The class was empty. I said "merry Christmas" she looked at us blankly said bye and that was that! Like I said the replies I received on the previous thread was ripping me to shreds, saying it was my attitude or I was lying!

fourquenelles. I can imagine how you feel. My aunt has simular problems with my cousin .x

That's a bit different then. She was really rude not to thank you. Doesn't matter how busy she was or whether she hates flowers, if someone hands you a gift and wishes you a happy Christmas, you say thank you!

I wouldn't bother giving her a present again.

I usually contribute to a class gift but our teachers always put in a note in everyones book bags to say thanks - I think this is always prepared in advance. The Head Teacher will always finish the term with a newsletter and a thanks on behalf all the teachers for their gifts. One year I also gave a teacher a personal present from my daughter because her teacher had been amazing and our teacher was over the moon and thanked my daughter in class...(my daughter told me all this). I have another child who attends a different school and I assume the teacher thanks the children personally because I usually give the gift to my child to hand to the teacher.

What a difference in the replies here. The previous thread I felt completely ganged up on by the commenters mostly all teachers I believe. I had been feeling really awful about it blaming myself thinking I had done something to offend her in some way. Anyway, I am buying her a gift on behalf of the boys.

staking out their ears for a few days

OP

Congratulations