Mumsnet Logo
My feed

to access all these features



5 replies

Bananamama1213 · 07/07/2017 23:56

I feel like I know the answer - it's my body, therefore my choice.

I have two children with my husband - aged 5 and 4. Youngest will start full time in September.

I haven't been on the pill since mid March this year. We haven't been trying, but we haven't been preventing.

I thought a baby would've happened by now (I fell with my second, the day after I came off). Feeling a bit deflated by it..

Anyway. I would like another baby.
Husband would like to wait a few years.
I don't want a gap that big.

Now, contraception is something we can't agree on. Of course, it would make sense for me to go back on the pill.. but I tried that the other day and it made sick and really dizzy. I had to spend all day in bed because I couldn't move without being sick from dizziness.

It's either the pill, the injection or the implant.

I can't decide what is best, and I don't feel like I want to just because he doesn't want to wear a condom.
(We have been together 10 years and he's only slept with one other person - I know there's no STDs involved, we've also both been tested).

It's MY body. I don't feel like I should have to. I want to give my body a break as it's been 12 years on the pill.

OP posts:

McTufty · 08/07/2017 00:20

YANBU. Contraception is not just a woman's responsibility and you are not obliged to pump yourself full of artificial hormones which make you feel ill if you don't want to.

Could you download natural cycles app?


NuffSaidSam · 08/07/2017 00:21

Give him the choice.

-sex with no contraception

-sex with a condom

-no sex

You don't have to be solely responsible for contraception, particularly since you're the one who would like a baby to happen!


Aquamarine1029 · 08/07/2017 00:34

The right to control what goes into your body supersedes your husband's wish to not use condoms.


chowmeinchick · 08/07/2017 00:42

You're the one who doesn't seem to mind if you have another baby so it shouldn't be your problem to sort contraception out. I'm assuming he knows how you feel and what you want, so leave it down to him. He doesn't like wearing a condom? Well you don't like when you're getting shoved on the pill and it's making you feel sick and ill. You've tried out some contraception and it didn't agree with you so now it's his turn.

Have a serious chat with him about it if he doesn't quite understand. He either has to deal with the fact he he might make you pregnant or if he really doesn't want anymore kids yet, he needs to be the one taking the precautions to stop this.

You're right, it's your body and your choice.


Foniks · 08/07/2017 00:46

He's a bit silly really isn't he? "I don't want another baby, but I'll not use contraception anyway" most 15 year olds are more sensible than that!

No way anybody should be on hormonal contraception or anything else that does anything to their body if they don't want to! And in those cases, obviously condoms are best. If you get pregnant, he just better not complain about it and say he wanted to wait.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Already signed up?