To think if I start dressing better I might actually FEEL better mentally?

[Borninatrap]

I'm a midwife and a single parent. I spend my life in my uniform, scrubs, pyjamas or my 90's grungy/student uniform of jeans and jumper & converse or leggings, comfy cotton dress and Chelsea boots.

I am permanently tired as I have negotiated early shifts/long days FT. I have underlying depression from childhood trauma. I'm also a stone overweight (nearer 11 stone than 10).

So, today I went for an interview. I wore the type of dress that Susanna wotsit wears on that morning programme on itv. Did my make up and straightened my hair. I looked like the obstetricians in clinic at work. Smart but not businessy. In control. And I borrowed my sisters black (not high but clicky) heels. My interview was at 9am so dropped kids off at breakfast club-got a compliment (usually they see me looking rough at 6am haha!). Did interview, felt confident. Went out for lunch with my mum and sister, they both were very lovely. Picked kids up from school (v.rare) all the school mum's were equally nice and complimentary about how I looked. Ex picked up DC's (he's an abusive arse so wouldn't compliment me anyway) but he said I looked posh.

So AIBU (and is my self esteem so low?!) that I actually felt good (been a while tbh) today due to a nice dress and a few compliments & to start looking at improving my wardrobe? I'm 37 so maybe I'm just maturing (my younger self would have balked at how shallow I am being) but if it makes me feel less shit it's worth a try isn't it? Anyone else changed their dress sense and found they feel better?

[Loxy4527]

It definitely goes both ways. I have a job with no dress code which is a blessing and a curse because when I'm having a bad day it shows in my very poor choice in clothes. I definitely dress up for more intense days and feel more confident for it. I've tried to improve my wardrobe over the years for this reason, particularly as my DH is always so well turned out and I hate looking like a slob next to him. Not that he minds at all but I do like how he's always a little extra happy when I look good, not because he's shallow but because he knows it means I'm feeling good on the inside.

[helterskelter99]

Def clothes that fit, aren't bobbly from washing too much or unintentionally faded make a huge difference to how I feel
It feels wrong to buy things for me but my lovely OH does tell me off for thatbut it's a hard habit to get into x

[SaveMeBarry]

It's not shallow at all Op. The reality is that our appearance can have an influence on how we feel and also how others react to us. As you found yesterday .

Why choose clothing that you don't especially feel good in when you can have something that makes you feel well put together and so helps your confidence? £16 on a dress that made you look and feel great or £16 on leggings and a fleece? Go back to Asda and see if they have that dress in a different pattern/colours!

Oh and good luck re the job

[FaithAgain]

I definitely think this is true. I also wear scrubs and was pretty scruffy until recently. I had to do a wardrobe overhaul because I've lost weight. I decided to spend more money on fewer pieces than lots of money on cheap stuff. I wear more dresses (casual but still look smart). I have a grey blazer tha I wear loads in spring/autumn because it smartens up items without looking OTT. I've spent money on a few decent quality tops rather than the supermarket t-shirts I was wearing. Not spending a fortune but buying stuff like Fat face, oasis.

Start from underneath - a few sets of nice quality, well fitting undies will transform your shape. Then you will find you feel better and clothes fit better. It's definitely made a difference to my confidence.

Good luck with the job!

[AdoraBell]

It's not shallow OP, cut yourself some sack, okay?

I always feel better when I dress a little more smartly. Either clean ironed jeans as opposed to yesterday's pair retrieved from bathroom floor , a dress occasionally etc. Another thing that really lifts me is perfume. Or a nice smelling soap or shower gel.