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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WIBU to say 16 year old can't join gymnastics??

90 replies

dreamball · 07/07/2017 19:52

There is an adult class starting at our local club, she'd like to go along. It clearly says a lot of the time it's ex gymnasts who attend with some beginners. However, I don't think she's going to get to the point she wants to in her head. She very much dreams of training all week and being able to flip, etc.

I have suggested yoga.

WIBU?

OP posts:

Glumglowworm · 07/07/2017 20:47

I also remember the other thread. There's a small number of parents who want to crush their child's ambition to start a new hobby. They get told they are BU by the vast majority of MN collective

sebashocked · 07/07/2017 20:51

Yabvu. My brother took up gymnastics at the age of 42 (always been very fit and flexible for a bloke). Says it's hard work but loves it. 16 is a perfectly reasonable age to start.

BigChocFrenzy · 07/07/2017 20:53

Providing the class accept beginners, why ever not ?
Sounds like she should be able to do the backflips she wants, if she persists a few months.

What is your objection ?

chowmeinchick · 07/07/2017 20:55

It isn't a fact that you have to start gymnastics at a young age.
Yes it helps if you want to be some sort of gold medalist at the olympics but I'm sure there are plenty of older people who have gone on to do well too.

At least let her have a try. You're being completely unreasonable to say no just because you think she isn't going to be very good. If she wants to give it a go, then why not let her?

You've already wrote that the adult class is happy to take on beginners which means people who haven't done gymnastics before? Or am I being stupid?

If it makes her happy then surely that's s good thing?

WonderLime · 07/07/2017 20:59

Not only are YBVU, but to suggest yoga as an alternative? That isn't what she wants to do and you are just making it absolutely clear that you don't believe in her!

PurplePeppers · 07/07/2017 20:59

Clearly lots of people who agree with me if there have been similar threads!!

Nope it's very few people who have posted similar things and have all being told VERY CLEARLY they are unreasonable.
Sorry but you will struggle to find support there.

You are basically telling your dd that she can't do things before she has even tried. You are teaching her to give up if it looks a bit too much/unaccessible. You are teaching her to be self conscious. You are teaching her that what she likes/fancy dong isn't important. But how she will look like or whether 'it's worth it' (whatever that could mean) is more Important.
I'm not sure how a parent could agree with doing any of that TBH.

bruffin · 07/07/2017 20:59

No Op in the recent threads posters have been unanimously YABU, so lots of people dont agree with you.

llangennith · 07/07/2017 21:07

My DD joined a gymnastics club when she was 13. She wasn't built for gymnastics and certainly wasn't supple. But she loved it and learnt to do a walkover and a handspring. That's about all she got from it but it was her party trick for many years and at 46 she can still do a handspring. The main thing was she enjoyed it.

LaurieMarlow · 07/07/2017 21:12

She's not going to reach Olympic stardom, but once that's understood why on earth would you stop her?

TheFirstMrsDV · 07/07/2017 21:13

Its weirdly like some other threads isn't it?

As for needing to start young...she is young, she is 16!

So unless you are a Russian olympic coach I think you are being pretty unreasonable.

AmysTiara · 07/07/2017 21:14

Why wouldn't you let her? It's not doing any harm.

BoomBoomsCousin · 07/07/2017 21:16

I was paying for my own hobbies by 16, so I don't really see the "of course". If you're paying I think YANU to say it's not something you'll pay for as you don't think it's value for money, I disagree with your analysis, there's far more to undertaking an activity like that than the possibility of becoming any good at it, but at 16 if she can earn the money to pay for activities that you won't. YWBVU to say she just can't do it though.

SaucyJack · 07/07/2017 21:28

This just popped up on my FB feed, funnily enough.

You could show it to your daughter OP, but there's a risk she might find it inspirational- and we don't want that do we (!).

GabsAlot · 07/07/2017 21:37

youv miscontrud the point

thre was anothr threa and noone agreed with thm not othr way round

bloody hell a six year old died today from cancer lifes too bloody short

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 07/07/2017 21:38

At 16 I went to an adults beginners swimming lesson and after a few months swam my first ever length. I'm no Olympian, but within a year of that first length, I swam my first mile.

At 19 I learned to ride a bike.

She's not too old to go to a beginners lesson and try something new. She may be good at it. She may use the experience to try something new.

It's an awkward age. There's little provision/ general interest in formal activities for that age group. I was swimming with people aged 55+ and it took confidence to walk in several decades younger than everyone else. Neither is she a child. So great for her to seize an interesting opportunity.

bruffin · 07/07/2017 21:42

19 year old Dds diving class was full of men aged 30+ who were all beginners. She was the only female and the youngest by a long shot. She went from beginners to advance class in 3 terms

LazyDailyMailJournos · 07/07/2017 22:17

You sound utterly joyless OP.

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/07/2017 07:26

Clearly lots of people who agree with me if there have been similar threads!!

Clearly there are some very controlling parents out there. You are one of them.

Why don't you search and try and find the ONE very similar thread posted on here? I'm sure the two of you would have a lot in common.

MackerelOfFact · 08/07/2017 07:34

YWBVU! Would you advise a 16-year-old boy not to take up football because he'll have missed out playing for the England Under 16s and therefore probably won't ever be a professional?!

It's a hobby and it's exercise - I'd definitely be encouraging it unless there's some extenuating circumstance (money, physical disability, travel, etc).

MajesticWhine · 08/07/2017 07:45

YABU in every way, unless you are too poor to afford the fees. I would love it if my teen girls wanted to try a new hobby that wasn't snapchat, boys, makeup etc.

ginnystonic · 08/07/2017 07:48

Of course you should let her have a go and encourage her new interests.

Sushi123 · 08/07/2017 07:49

'Clearly lots of people agree with me'!
Where are they then?

RomulanBattleBagel · 08/07/2017 07:50

I think it's great, many 16yos have IME completely given up active/extra curricular activities by that age. Absolutely brilliant to want to try something new that will help her fitness and strength and probably confidence too! Yes she may find it really difficult to do what she wants to do, but either she will keep trying or she will stop knowing that at least she gave it a good go.

I think it's really sad that the focus is "she will never be good enough". So what? Doesn't mean she can't have fun. It is pretty clear already that my 10yo is never going to be a champion dancer or gymnast, she's not particularly graceful or coordinated, but she still does lots of both a week because she loves it, she's learning and increasing her self esteem as well as staying active.

Glowerglass · 08/07/2017 07:58

It's a great idea for her to do gymnastics and she is not too old. I do lots of exercise, I'm no great shakes at any of it but its good for me, its fun, and i'm loads better than I was when I started.

Same goes for knitting.

Encourage her for heaven's sake.

WellThisIsShit · 08/07/2017 07:59

The 'I suggested yoga' but of the OP made it very clear what kind of thread this will be.

Anyone who thinks it's fine to behave in such an odd way isn't going to listen to anyone else.

Why on earth would you think it's ok to refuse gymnastics lessons on the basis that, err, why exactly? Oh yes, on the basis that she wants to do it, and suggests yoga instead, because err, why exactly? Oh yes, because she doesn't want to do it as much.

What is the logic there, and as for defending it as 'well, I'm paying', personally I think that doesn't really stand up to scrutiny. It would if tour DD wanted to start gymnastics and you said you can't or won't pay... but this snidey 'I suggested yoga' nonsence seems to mean you'll pay but only if it's something that you've preapproved, on the basis that she doesn't want to do it so much... well, it's all a bit weird.

Bit then I wonder, what kind of poster decides that clear references to a previous posters thread means 'lots of other people must agree with me then'? Clearly that's not the situation and deliberately twisting it to get to that frankly extraordinary conclusion, well, it shows how this thread will go.

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