AIBU to say NO- how have you been taking advantage of?

[WhateverNameIsStillAvailable]

This world's seems to be full of cheeky ... let's call them 'people'... who feel everyone's world revolves around them.
After reading WORKzilla and the 5 kids birthday party mare Im astounded at the amount of people who are the cheek in person.

A mutual (ex)friend of mine and OH's is a dad who has his daughter every three weeks or so for a weekend. She is 9.
OH gets a txt from him " hey mate could you collect me and daughter from mothers house and bring us to mine?"
OH: " sorry mate I can't today I'm miles away at a friends house!"
Him: "Wtf are for fucking real... I think my daughter is a bit more important than hanging out with friends!!!"

Erm... Yea for you...
I was speechless. .. how does he think his daughter should be more important to us than our family time at friends house?
I mean his daughter should be the most important thing to HIM not to us!

He hired a car after that...

Please tell me that's odd and entitled and I'm not the bad person here 😑

How about your cheeky encounters?

Omg 😣😱 no thanks and to say it wasn't really enough....

I still can't believe people are that hard necked in real life 😤

I'm not sure what goes through the minds of these people. I think they are just entirely blinkered and see only what they want and do not consider at all whether they are reasonable.

I worked with someone years ago when our kids were at junior school. She was a very high earner due to extra bonuses and working very long hours where I was part time. She didn't need to work long hours because her husband was also a high earner but she chose to (fair enough). I used to pay s fortune for nannies, au pairs, after school clubs etc to provide out of school hours care and holiday care. She wouldn't pay for anything and used to tell her kids to go to their friends home to play after school or to walk around to friends houses in the holidays to cover a few days at a time. She was quite open about it not being an agreement or formal arrangement.

Posted too soon. Same experience with people borrowing money as above. I see it happening fairly frequently (not to me) and it is obvious that the borrowers somehow justify to themselves that it is ok not to pay back or pay back after going on an expensive holiday!

Few years ago DSis & BIL were in a bit of a pickle re:childcare. DN's were too old for childminder ,not quite old enough to be home alone all day.

I can work from home, and really all they needed was someone to make sure they didn't eat crap all day, or develop DVTs from sitting on the x-box.

Someone that Sis had spoken to maybe twice approached her in the playground, cheeky fuckers eldest was in same year as youngest DN. separate classes, not friends. And asked DSis to have the child & 2 toddlers on X date.

Sis was and stuttered sorry no I've had to sort care for my 2 that day.
CF: oh who are you using? They can take mine too.
Sis: Emm no it's family.
CF: oh great, so no fee
Sis: em no I am not asking my sister to mind 3 kids she's never met. She be working anyway.
CF: oh she'll just need to chuck some crisps and juice at them. They'll just watch tv. What time will I drop them over?

Sis brain kicked in at this point and asked are you seriously suggesting leaving your 3 children with someone they or you has never met before?
CF: it'll be fine....

DSis just walked away, CF tried to slag her off to the playground crew, half of who openly laughed at her, the rest just were.

It 3-4 years later and CF still huffs and aims daggers at DSis, no insight…

I was previously friends (NC now, thank god) with someone who took the pissed massively with childcare. The phone calls would always start, 'Are you busy on X date...' and because I was a LP inevitably I wouldn't be. And because I was a mug in those days (thank god I've learned about boundaries and grown some ovaries since then) I would say yes. On top of doing wraparound care for her shifts (health care professional) I would end up having her kid/s at weekends while she went out partying (and was inevitably late back on the Sunday). The kids hated it and knew they were being dumped. It was horrible for everyone but somehow she manipulated the scenario onto it being 'a privilege for me to spend time with her precious kiddiewinks'.

The requests only stopped after I'd moved 70 miles away and she asked if I could babysit. I assumed she meant sending the kids to me, but no, she was offering me a three day kid- and dog- sitting minibreak. Because everyone can drop their own lives for three days so someone else can go to a festival, right? She was very pissed off when I declined this marvellous offer.

There is much, much more... I realise now that it takes a pretty damaged person to be so narcissistic and bloody entitled, but I'm very relieved this woman isn't part of my life any more.

What is it with people having children and then dumping them on people 😱
Either I am over caring or these ppl don't care where their kids go as long as they can get anyone at all to take them 😣

Speaking of childcare... I had moved and a neighbour had introduced herself nicely with a present. Very nice I thought and we went to each others houses to let the kids play about once a week.
Eventually her au pair left quite unexpectedly and she had no childcare over the summer holidays.
Stupid me offered to help her out until she found a new aupair. .. she agreed and thanked me and offered me 100 £ a week for it.
She called me to go over the arrangements etc all good I said it's really a friend favour and to let me know when the new aupair arrives.
First 2 days into it I asked how the aupair search is going... she said oh she hasn't bothered to look.
I then heard her on the phone saying " oh no thx so much but we found someone to mind the kids."
I actually had to remind her that I was just doing her a favour and if she found someone else to mind them to please take them up on it.
I did another couple days and after firmly telling her that this wasnt my work but a favour in between childminders she had the new childminder sorted.
She didn't pay me and OH made me ask for the money as I was entitled to it and she eventually gave me 75.
Oh btw I am childcare qualified not that it mattered as I only tried to help out I wasn't even pushed on the money really until she thought that I was her new childminder for 100 quid for a full time week 😨

I'll never offer again and we haven't been on any more play dates since...

It was a good few weeks since the aupair had left btw...
Last aupair told me how she never paid her on time... sometimes not at all or months late...

'Oh but really you have to see how much of a convenience it is, you can come down to where I am with your DM and care for my baby until my parents agree to pay for a nanny. These nails won't work with shitty nappies' tinkly laugh

This was a friends response to hearing about my fertility issues and how I might never be able to have children. So told I was caring for children that didn't exist yet and I should be pleased at this idea

I think these people genuinely don't see that they're doing anything wrong. If you watch shows like Judge Rinder or Jeremy Kyle you do occasionally see the penny drop with some people when an impartial outsider* recites the facts of their behaviour back to them and they admit they are in the wrong.

But more often than not, they are adamant that they are the "victims" of other people's selfish, entitled behaviour and really can't see where they've gone wrong. It is a bizarre trait of human nature.

• yes, I know "Judge" Rinder and Jeremy Kyle are far from impartial and paid to create drama and friction.

I have a friend who's all over me when she needs some company but drops me like a hot brick when she gets a better offer. And constantly asks me to order her stuff online so her husband doesn't see and promises me the cash. Then takes ages to pay me or forgets to pay at all, resulting in a couple of attempts on my part to delicately ask for the money and me feeling like a twat when it still isn't forthcoming.

She had an awful narcissistic mother though so I do feel a bit sorry for her. I think some of the behaviour she can't help, it's a learned pattern from her upbringing. Does put me off her though sadly.

On my hen afternoon I got a phone call. It was the husband of one of my guests who hadn't arrived yet.
He said he was on his way to my soon to be husbands' stag do and he was going to drop his wife off at our church (not hen afternoon location, not even close) and could I go and collect her?
Er… yes, he actually wanted to walk out of my own hen do to pick someone up. When I initially said no, he got all squeaky and said "What? You can't spare five minutes to pick up a friend?"
What I should have said was "Why don't you spend the extra five minutes and drop her here yourself as you're already in the car???" but I was rather flustered by it.
In the end, one of my friends said they'd go just to shut him up. Turns out he didn't want to drive all the way to the hen afternoon location as then he'd be late for the stag do.
He has been known to make similar, odd and cheeky, requests and usually tops them off with a massive guilt trip.
I have grown a thicker skin since then and am pretty quick to refuse cheeky people nowadays.
I'm also relatively unpopular at ds's school so haven't been hit for cheeky childcare requests.