AIBU? We had plans, now friend is flying to a diff city?

[Chocolatteandbiscuits]

Do you think I'm being unreasonable to be annoyed?

2 weeks ago I organised so see a supposed friend this weekend. We just said the weekend no specific day or time. Obviously I have to plan in advance as I have a LB. She text yesterday saying can you do Sunday afternoon, I said no sorry but I can do anytime Saturday or Sunday morning. Thinking she should be free at least a hour or 2 one of the days considering we had arranged it. She text me back today going sorry I can't now I've just booked a last min flight to Glasgow I leave tomorrow morning and don't come back until sun night. Are you free any other time? Like I can just be available anytime.

Then I went on social media and she posted a pic saying "I love last min plans with the girls for a catch up". Well thanks for just disregarding me and our plans. I feel like I've had enough with her and various other so called friends. Don't why I bother. Probably because I feel lonely. Do you think it's normal to be annoyed at her?

You have been texting her frequently saying you 'need' to catch up and she keeps cancelling and being unavailable? I think it's probably time you took the hint. Let her suggest your next meet up and, if she doesn't, just move on.

I've just seen your last two posts that you posted while I was reading and writing. It makes more sense now.

Its a bit 50/50

I don't think your friend was being unreasonable tbh. You didn't organise your weekend to see her and it seemed like a very fluid arrangement. You are also fitting her in around other friends.

If I had an opportunity if a weekend away v an hour with somebody at some point over the weekend, I would choose the weekend away.

user thanks, i think i will. Think ive been holding on because im feeling lonely. Shes done other things to me that have upset me, but me being me i forgave her.

You didnt actually have proper arrangements, only vague ones, so I dont think this really counts as letting you down

She offered Sunday afternoon you declined, she couldn't do the times you had available so you try another weekend.

Absolutely nothing wrong with her, after offering a day/time to you, making other plans for the whole weekend.

if you can't meet her because you are meeting another friend what's that got to do with having a ds and not being able to drop everything? You sound a tiny bit jealous of her spontaneous trip/lifestyle.

Yabu
Nothing was actually planned and she obviously fancied a last min night away. This wouldn't offend me

Well I see that you have made your mind up, Chocolatteandbiscuits. That's fine, you don't really need mumsnet's endorsement for breaking off any friendship you don't want anymore.

Does she have kids?

You said so yourself that you made fairly loose plans. Sorry, I'd have done exactly what she did.

I realise this may be unintentional, but your post whiffs of 'I've got a child! My time is so much more limited than yours! Fit round me!' Again, I stress I don't think that's what you MEAN, but if you raised this with me it's what I'd hear.

OP: 'I'm coming to your city next weekend to see you'
Friend: 'Great' runs off and organizes to be away from Friday afternoon until late Sunday evening.

How does that even make sense?

I'd just assume she wasn't that interested in seeing me in person and wouldn't bother going there again.

The OP says nothing about visiting friend's city. I assume they live in roughly the same area.

OP, you sound as if this is the last straw - do we do bitch eating crackers here?
Has it got to that point and you've just had enough?
You've said about feeling lonely a few times too - do you have other friends close by?

But you made other plans too on the Sunday afternoon. You didn't keep the whole weekend free either.

So you initiated wanting to meet up, then didn't really do anything about it (didn't suggest any concrete plans or even suggest a day). When she suggested a day, you'd already made plans with someone else anyway. If I were her I would have taken that to mean you weren't that bothered about meeting up anyway. It sounds like you expected her to just keep her whole weekend free for you when you didn't do the same for her. If you want her to prioritise her plans with you then you need to make actual plans in the first place.

All the OP did was say Sunday afternoon was not possible because I assume the pre-standing arrangement with her other friend giving the availability to this friend to meet anytime up till Sunday afternoon. The OP is not unreasonable as she has given the friend ample opportunity over the weekend for them to meet up. However it sounds like you are now at different stages of life and she prioritises last minute weekends away over a lunch with you so you need to put less emphasis on this friendship and accept it may have run its course

What was to stop you inviting her along to lunch with your friend?

You asked her to keep the weekend free, then arranged to see another friend rather than her.

Do you think she found out about this and thinks if you'd rather lunch with the other friend after asking her first, why should she bother?