to feel sad about today?

[GrandDesespoir]

Today is my sister's tenth wedding anniversary. By stark contrast, I haven't managed to form a functional relationship during the last decade. She is nearly ten years younger than me, which makes it worse (in my mind).

I would like to feel happy for her, but my main feeling is bitterness that my situation hasn't changed. I don't wish for a minute that my sister were unhappy or hadn't found love, but I remember how shit I felt during her wedding when I was getting over yet another failed liaison (as I am again, now), and that pain still hasn't gone away.

I would like to make a fuss of her, but I feel paralysed, as if congratulating her would draw attention to my shameful failure.

I realise this is a bit of a pity party; I just needed to rant a bit. Can anyone empathise, or am I just a miserable bitch?

On the plus side a card is positively gushing for someone else's anniversary. A simple text to say congratulations is plenty for a sibling. It doesn't draw attention to you, a card being lower key as it doesn't need a response from her.
Then focus on you. Take sometime to really indulge yourself this weekend. Make a fuss of you! It sounds as though you need to not lay blame so much on yourself. Better to be single, moving on than trying to make something work out of fear.
for you. Take it easy until you feel stronger.

You're not a miserable bitch, I think its more than possible to feel a pang of envy whilst wishing that person all the best, it doesn't make you a bad person, just human.

You aren't a bitch. It's life, sometimes it sucks.

Thanks everyone; that helps. And yes, a card is a bit OTT!