To hate being asked for gift lists?

[Sleepthief84]

Bit of a first world problem here, OH thinks I am silly and maybe I am! For my family's birthday and Xmas gifts I spend a lot of time choosing presents that I genuinely think people will love and appreciate, which are always well received. What is annoying me a bit is that every year now, my Mum, Dad (divorced so separate gifts) Brother, MIL and FIL all insist on being given a list of gifts that me, OH and DD would like and if I don't provide one they give us cash in an envelope with a card - reason being that we can hen buy what we would like. Now I'm not ungrateful, they are very generous and it's lovely to receive anything at all. Bit honestly, I'd so much rather have something of far lesser value that they'd put a bit of thought into! I hate giving a list too it seems so grabby. My family have obviously known me my whole life and me and OH have been together for ten years. I'm not hard to buy for - OH manages perfectly fine (and is a thoughtful gift giver). Thoughts?

I hate the fact DH's family ask for a gift lists for DS and then ignore it! Meaning not only do I end up with a load of shite I don't want, DS then misses out on stuff he would like.

It really annoys me as I put effort into working out what he would like and 'saving up' ideas over the months.

(I have to say though that I was so much better at gift buying before children, I had time to browse shops, online and instore, to find the perfect gifts for people and now I always feel a bit of a let down when I buy people exactly what they have asked for and no nice surprises.

Because not all of us are:

a) Telepathic
b) Like gift shopping
c) Know the person we are buying for well enough to know that they already have far too many pairs of socks/books/CDs etc

We live hundreds of miles away from both families and don't see them very often. I have no idea what my twenty something nephews and nieces want for Christmas and birthday, so it is either a request for a gift list or money.

We aren't all perfect present buyers.

Yes YABVU, just because you are deluded enough to believe your genuine belief that they'll like them are always hits, or even mostly hits and that people are happy with the actual gift doesn't mean it does. Most people eventually realise that the waste of money that results from gift giving and people not really wanting it means it's better to just do lists or cash with your loved ones.

Every study has shown people massively undervalue the gifts they receive, they just don't value it as even the cash value people spend, let alone the cash value and the time wasted.

Our family do gift lists too. I used to hate them, but eventually agreed with dh that I'd do a list for him and he'd do one for me, so family knew they were buying the "right" things, but it was still a surprise. No lists asked for dc yet but will probably do something similar for them too

Towards x-mas (etc) in my family we ask the parents of the kids for a range of options of things the children would like and pick something. When I'm asked about DD, I keep it as vague and open as possible, to give the giver an opportunity to buy s.thing DD will love but will suit a budget from £1 upwards (eg - stickers! When she was that age. Now it's more likely to be - a water bottle)

For myself, my mum is always very generous. And buys me rubbish. It makes me very sad. She'll often spend around £100 and it's always on crap I don't want. I don't want to ask because don't want to be grabby, but hate getting stuff that I know I'll just charity shop. She's always so happy about it.

We're another gift list family. I can come up with things for DH and DD easily enough, but I don't see my siblings that often. I'm happy to be generous (as are they), but to be honest, I don't want to spend more than a couple of pounds on something that I don't know the recipient wants. One sibling enjoys DIY, and I know enough about tools to choose some which aren't rubbish. But I don't know what they've already got - and good kit is expensive. I'd much rather be told what they want/need.