Aibu to feel bad for someone who is totally happy?

[Hapaxlegomenon]

I love my brother a lot, but I've noticed that he's not very socially capable. He's very over confident, and doesn't adapt his approach at all for different audiences like most people do. This means that some people think he's a great lad but I get the impression that some people think he's an absolute dick. He is very thick skinned and doesn't notice this himself as far as I know. I feel sad about it and feel on edge when I'm around him and other people. I feel really protective over him but also embarrassed by him. Aibu to be so oversensitive on behalf of someone else or do other people feel like this too?

mrsterry you've demonstrated why I feel sometimes feel sad or protective over him. It's a wrong impression of him that others could get, and they could be nasty to him because of it.

Perhaps it's time to have a serious talk about why this is not a word he should be using.

Perhaps it would also be a good idea to ask the friend not to use the word in front of your DB because he (brother) doesn't understand it's not acceptable to repeat it to others.

tofu I wouldn't bother having a word because that is just one small example that came to my mind.

That's interesting, Cosmo. Is he older than you? Did your parents not to anything to limit this dynamic?

cosmo are we the same person?! I'm also very socially sensitive, probably as a result of growing up with someone like my brother!

CosmoClock 'His hubris is a force field.' Brilliant turn of phrase.

tofutti i think im going to steal that 'seatbelt on my personality'

Ha, it's Cosmo's phrase. She certainly has a way with words! Are you a writer, Cosmo?

My DH has a friend just like this.
He is super confident and socially thick-skinned (Very similar story regarding what I thought was a totally unacceptable word to describe a member of staff in a restaurant , to which DHs mate replied"but it is a fact".I left). He has had a stellar career in sales and married a lovely,if naive, woman who worships him. Sure, he has been beaten up and had his car keyed a number of times, but it doesn't seem to get to him in the way it would me.
TBH DH finds him a trial and keeps his distance where possible but it takes all sorts to make a society and I know this chap would never meaningly cause hurt.

I have a DH and DS who are ASD and your brother sounds like he is too. I used to be embarrassed by my DH sometimes but to be honest I've come to admire how he is just himself whatever the company were are in. He isn't offensive like your brother is being with the paki comment but I can see someone like my DS struggling to understand why his friend can say it and he can't.