Or is my mum re picking ds up?

[NaiceToMeetYou]

3 days a week ds1 goes to after school club and ds2 nursery while I work. Yesterday ds2 had been sick so I took the day off work and kept him at home.

Talking to my dm last night I mentioned id fallen asleep with ds2 and woke up after 4pm. Straight away she asked who had picked ds1 up from school and I explained he'd gone to after school club.

She made me feel so guilty! Couldn't believe I'd not collected him from school at 3 when I was at home. Fwiw dis loves after school club as he has friends there from other schools.

So wibu not going for him until 5?

YANBU, Some mothers always have something they want to cast their opinion on. My mother does it too.

Continuity is important for children. Smile and ignore.

Surely he is better off having fun with his friends rather than coming home to a sick sibling and a mum who has to care for the sick sibling? You were absolutely not being unreasonable.

My 2 actively choose to go to after school club twice a week, we have no need for them to as I don't work but they enjoy it. Yanbu do what works for you.

YANBU at all. As pp has said, your son is better being there having fun with friends than at home with a sick sibling. Plus it gives you an extra bit of time and a bit of breathing space after looking after a sick baby all day.

Thanks, I didn't think I was bu but my mother has this knack of making me feel like shit!

Your mother is trying to make you feel bad so she can feel good. She wants you to think she was a better mother than you are. Ironically, of course, this means she is an absolutely shit mother trying to make her own child feel awful, sad and guilty!

I offered to pick dc2 up straight from school to take him to the open air pool today as I'm off and it's really warm. He said no, his friends need him to play football and he gets his homework done better at after school club!

... and it will go on until you're old enough to be a grandma too. My mum raises her eyebrows if I make DS do his own tea. He's 32. When I asked her if she always made my tea when I was 32 she looked shocked and said no - but she still does the same thing every time.

Not at all. He's much better off playing with his friends than being stuck bored at home having to be quiet because of an I'll sibling. And you wouldn't have any time for him either really if the wee ones sick.

Ignore your mother - some people just either want to hurt others or don't really think through what they're saying.

It's funny really as she could never be described as a great mum herself. My brother and I practically brought ourselves up from pre teens. She'd never admit it obviously.

YANBU at all.

I changed jobs this year meaning we no longer need after school club, DD cried her eyes out and sulked for weeks, so much so she now goes to after school club once a week even though it actually means me going back out to pick her up (her school is on my way home from work). If DS enjoys after school club bringing him home to be quiet while you are busy looking after his brother would have been mean.

NBU if he loves it! My son asks to go to holiday club at his old nursery in the school hols, he loves it and catches up with all his old nursery mates. I've sent him for one day in some of the half terms even when I could probably have managed without as he enjoyed it so much.

YANBU. It's social time for him. Why shouldn't he have that just because you're sick?

I would personally have picked my children/child up yes. Most children i know tolerate after school club. Most much prefer home although not all [ I teach]. As to whether you are being reasonable well in the grand scheme of things, i don.t think it will matter to him. If your ds was sick then the peace of another sibling would be better anyway.
Mums are a PITA and would always think there is a better way!

YANBU

Your mother needs to keep her negative opinions to herself.

YANBU, your child your rules. If he loves club why should he come home and be with you and his sick sibling, when you are most likely stressed/tired anyway.

It is none of your mum's business.

If he hated club and was desperate to be at home with you I would say change clubs.

One day would not make any major difference and would most likely unsettle him anyway, so I can't see why hoicking him out of club would be a good thing.

Italian I feel like there's a 'hun' missing from your post

I'll cancel my worlds worst mum badge now

thanks Hun!