To feel annoyed with childminder

[JL2017]

Just dropped DD off at the childminder (she's 2.5yr). It's 9.15am and I can hear in the back room (not visible from street) that there's a programme / film on iPad. There are 3 other kids there (often more), two Childminder's (mum and daughter), mum is the 'main one' and comes down from upstairs (her private home) as the daughter answers door to me. All kids there are over 2.

My DD has been at this CM for 1.5yrs, they are kind loving people however this is not the first time I've noticed TV on or iPad. In fact it's probably about the 20th, possibly more!! However normally it's in the afternoon and obvious (in lounge) and there are older kids there too after school. This time I felt like she was trying to hide it (talking loudly and trying to get rid of me). Usually it's nursery rhymes and they're dancing (on iPad) or a TV show is on while they cook the tea. I think this is acceptable once in a while.

I do allow my kids TV and a bit of iPad but not really happy about my 2.5yr old having iPad at 9.15am (I wouldn't do that at home) plus I pay her £45 a day to do other stuff.

What are you thoughts? I'm contemplating texting now and saying I'd prefer it didn't happen but then just wonder if I should find alternative childcare.

The issue of course is my DD loves it there.

I should add that if the weather is bad I would also think it reasonable to put a film on or whatever but it's not, it's really warm and lovely today here and they have a lovely garden!

I wouldn't be happy with this. I purposely use a childminder who doesn't use tv at all. (However most do and so do some nurseries).
First step is to discuss it though.

I wouldn't be happy. My DS2 goes to nursery for the same price and does sensory play, goes for woodland walks, painting etc every day (plus I get photos sent home of him doing it - he loves it). I would be annoyed at paying that money for him to be babysat by a screen.

You should talk with your CM before getting annoyed. There could be a number of reasons to explain the situation. Your DD has been going there for 1.5 years, she's happy and I assume you trust this lady?

Yes I do trust them, they do a lot of lovely activities there so in no way do I think they're always watching TV I just think it's possibly happening quite a lot more than I had hoped. I'm just not sure how to approach it?! Have been thinking about swapping to nursery for a whole to be honest so that's possible but my DD is very happy there and obviously therefore I haven't wanted to rock the boat. Childcare is quite hard to find where we are.

Maybe they just use the Ipad or TV for half an hour or so to keep the kids occupied while everyone arrives? It's not ideal, but maybe they just let them all settle in, and then at say half 9, the TV/Pad goes off and they all do crafts or whatever.

Does she give you a log of the activities your child has done throughout the day? The childminders I know do this and I have yet to see TV listed on any log.

If they do lots of activities with the children and your dd is happy there, I don't think it's an issue. The morning's are probably quite hectic with children arriving, clearing up breakfast, getting organised for the day so it would be a time when a children's film on would be used as entertainment.

I really don't think it's a problem. Some screen time can be beneficial, educational or used to make little ones sit and rest for half an hour. It's only a problem if it's on constantly which doesn't seem the case here.

My childminder always makes toast and cuts up grapes for my 4 year old and he watches paw patrol for a while.

I think if you have a good and kind minder, don't lose her over a text. A text is not a nice way to receive feedback. What I do if something comes up is just to do a chat every so often where you say the less TV the better etc. Remind her of what you value in her day.

I agree with glitterlips that asking for a log might be a good idea. You could say that you have heard a friend's childminder does it and think it would be a lovely idea so that you can discuss with your DD what she has done that day?

Texting is absolutely not the way to go. You see these people twice a day, you need to have a conversation with them.

Honestly, CM don't have enough time to do a 'log' or daily diary for all their children.

Your child is happy, your trust the lady, I'd leave it.

My CM has the tv on during arrivals and before she (and her assistant) begin school drop offs. It keeps the children occupied during the busiest time. After drop off the ones who are there all day (including DD) have breakfast and then they are all out for the day. I don't begrudge CM having the TV on in the morning. I pay £50 a day but she is worth double that. How many parents use TV or screen time at home for abit of peace and quiet?

Here we go again, the "screen time" hysteria! I literally couldn't care less if my DC watch tv at the CM in a morning, I also let them watch it at home! Shocking I know! 😂😂😂

My son's childminder I think they have the TV on most days in the evening as a way to wind down quietly after a busy day. They also go out every day, do singing and reading every day, do loads of craft and baking, go outside every day and have different toys inside every day.

She's on duty 6.30am to 6pm. I don't begrudge them a bit of TV. And my son loves it there and is very happy, so there's that.

Having said that, if she's 2.5, you're presumably thinking of moving her to a nursery once she gets the free hours. So in your shoes I might be thinking about whether she was going to a pre-school (in which case I wouldn't want to move her somewhere for six months only to move her again) or a private nursery (in which case I might have a look at some of the options and see how I felt about moving her a bit early).

But for me knowing it wasn't all day and my child was happy and settled there would be more important.

You just need to talk to her, face to face. Personally, if I found out it was just a morning, drop off time thing, I'd be ok with that. If it was more, then no, I wouldn't be happy.

Thank you, yes definitely going to text! I should add we text all the time so I wouldn't be out of the ordinary but agree better to mention it in person when / if needed.

I get a book with a paragraph about what they've done that day, sometimes she's filled this in and other days they don't and it doesn't bother me because I know how hectic it must be at times. I'm not anti screen time really it's just that today I felt like they were trying to cover it up and I would prefer them say that every day they have 30 min programme plus nursery rhymes or whatever, I don't mind that I just worry maybe it's a lot more but I'm probably over thinking it.

And yes, someone mentioned moving to nursery and is ir worth it with pre school etc and that is a dilemma as it seems unsettling for just a year!

Of course address it if it bothers you but having had lots of issues with childcare I would say if you have a good minder that you trust and your child is happy be careful not to mess it up, there's lots of poor childcare put there! My cm had the tv on every morning, but I knew by 9.45 they were all on their way to playgroup or their morning activity and that it was likely to keep the kids calm and in one place during arrival, I never felt the need to question her about it. Does it really make a difference what time it is? Surely it's the amount of screen time that matters?