Birthday money for wayward teen

[bcngran]

My elder granddaughter will soon be 14. For the past year or so, she has been VERY VERY hard work for her parents,and everyone else, hardly ever attending school, coming home very late, going out when grounded, monosyllabic, uncommunicative, rude... She has just told me (longest conversation I have had with her for months) she wants money for her birthday, nothing else, don't give her anything else at all, just money. I hadn't actually asked her what she would like for her birthday, by the way, just "how are things, how's life going at the moment" type comment from me, and that was the response.

I don't really feel inclined to give her anything. I don't feel like funding any of her activities at the moment. I have thought about giving her a small sum and explaining that the more time she puts in at school then more money will come her way. But it seems harsh not to acknowledge a child's birthday with a gift. Does anyone else have experience of this? WWYD?

I've had many teens approach me with vouchers to buy so I wouldn't give vouchers. Ask her what she wants the money for and go with her?

I was an awful teenager. My parents presented a united front with my grandparents, and I now see very little of any of them. I was put in awful position and frankly, I may have been a dick, but I was 14.
My Nana in particular was harsh, she wrote me out her will and didn't acknowledge me for four years. I didn't have anyone who seemed to love me at the point, apart from my abusive boyfriend. I couldn't have been more pushed into his arms.
You're her nan, maybe just try to be supportive, a smaller gift, or take her to spend it maybe, but be a nan

Put money in a savings bond that won't mature for c.5 years?

Her situation sounds incredibly worrying. Do her parents who why she has started behaving this way or who she is with? Is there any possibility of her being groomed or used for sexual purposes?

If she wants cash then I would I suppose give it. I may also supplement it with an outing of just the two of us somewhere shed really like to go and try to establish a closer relationship.

If she's being uncommunicative try using whatsapp or snapchat to send regular little messages. She will appreciate it even if she doesn't show it.

What a nice granny.

A voucher or if she has a life savings account give her a cheque to put in it 😊

Thanks to everyone for useful and thoughtful comments, you have given me food for thought. Maybe what I will do is give DGD an Amazon token, and just a little bit of cash (fiver?) Missing school is no small thing at all, and is the aspect of her behaviour that makes me most cross, although I know there's not much I can do about it, except make it clear to her how much I disapprove. Perhaps I will put that fiver as a bookmark in a copy of Malala's autobiography for DGD as well. Other than that just sit tight and wait for better times, I suppose, with all fingers and toes crossed that in the end a beautiful butterfly will emerge from this awful teenage chrysalis.

Maryz it's lovely to see you back.

I wouldn't give money if I thought it was wanted for drugs. Otherwise if it was "frittered" it would be fine. 14 is borderline for alcohol too mind you.