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To ask that my child's pictures aren't put up on Social Media

28 replies

DinosaursArentMakeBelieve · 05/07/2017 23:17

Just that really. I don't like the idea of DS's pictures being shared online.
I live quite a distance from my side of the family so I send regular pictures and have also set up a photo Sharing folder on the iPhone (which we all have) for family to see and comment but Im quite a private person as is my husband (our social media profiles are extremely secure and minimal) I just don't want my DSs photos on social media....

OP posts:

Notknownatthisaddress · 05/07/2017 23:19

YANBU. Your child, your rules.


ethelfleda · 05/07/2017 23:22

YANBU definitely - it's your call.


DinosaursArentMakeBelieve · 05/07/2017 23:22

I've entered into several debates in the past around this topic as the majority of my friends and family are very active on social media but it's not something I've ever been interested in and I don't like the idea of strangers viewing, liking or commenting on pictures of my child.

As my family live far away, I don't want to say "I'm not sending any more pictures" as I want them to feel connected to DS but every so often another picture I've sent will appear online and have several likes and comments from strangers and it really bothers me!

OP posts:

ethelfleda · 05/07/2017 23:24

We have family send us pics of their little ones as they live far away. I would never dream of putting them on social media and I can understand why it bothers you!


RicottaPancakes · 05/07/2017 23:27

They put photos of your child on social media? Why?? You have every right to ask them to stop. Or stop sharing photos.


tinytemper66 · 05/07/2017 23:29

My children are 31 and 22 and I don`t put them on social media ever. YANBU


DinosaursArentMakeBelieve · 05/07/2017 23:31

To be clear, There's no malice in them sharing the photos at all! They share everything (including pictures of other family's LOs which the mums are fine with) but I just don't like the idea of my LOs photos being up.

OP posts:

Kiwi32 · 05/07/2017 23:31

We don't post pictures of our son online and our friends and family know and respect our decision. YANBU. We have friends who've made the same decision. Are the people who shared pics maybe unaware of your wishes?


Out2pasture · 05/07/2017 23:31

may I suggest op that you discuss privacy settings with your family so that only those family are able to see them, not acquaintances.
my son requests no photo's of his little one on social media which I honor.
but sadly it makes me feel horrible when I post of the other grandchildren who's parents don't mind.
so I have ended up not posting any which is hard in a country that is huge with family spread all over.


Kiwi32 · 05/07/2017 23:32

I would say the only exception I make is group shots from weddings or where he's in the background of a pic. I don't want to be a pain about it, but it's your decision and the end of the day.


GreenTulips · 05/07/2017 23:44

There are very few pics of DD on social media - now a young man has taken a strange interest in her and has stalked the internet for her picture and has 'marked' them with strange writings - very sexual but vague-

It happens - its unpleasant and we can't undo these photos - they are there for all to see

Then there's another friend who's parent spoat everything - and now bullies are circulating her baby pictures etc and she can't stop it -

Can you imagine a 14 year old volunteering to get the family snaps out and show the whole school?

That's what your family are doing - even if they live far away you'd be surprised at the lack of settings or understanding of setting -

Anyway - I'm with you - just tell them NO - do not post on social media -


DinosaursArentMakeBelieve · 05/07/2017 23:55

@GreenTulips this is exactly the type of thing that worries me. I don't like social media for that reason!
Most of my "friends" on social media didn't even know I was getting married until someone shared a photo on my wedding day and tagged me in. My settings are very restricted and I share nothing personal. I don't see how i could do anything different for my DS. Thank you all for understanding.

OP posts:

GreenTulips · 05/07/2017 23:59

It's been horrific! The police can't do anything except speak to him - but even that doesn't undo these photos -

We are in a difficult transition with social media because we don't have laws etc set up to deal with different situations - and yes I get that people are responsible not the actual internet - but we over share everything

And to the gran - print your pics out and show your friends in personnof it means that much to you - or show them thenpicanon your phone - it's not a shame you can't share - it's a good thing to protect your grandchildren


LockedOutOfMN · 06/07/2017 00:00

No photos of our two on social media that I'm aware of except for one pic each when they were born. Send photos via WhatsApp to grandparents and aunts and uncles (we live abroad). The only ones we've had a problem with was the school as although we checked the "no photos" box, that just meant they were on a list somewhere which the staff who posted on social media didn't have access to. Shock


coconuttella · 06/07/2017 00:02

YANBU as they are your children.

Personally I don't see the big issue that some make out of it.... it's all a bit paranoid imo. I sometimes post photos of my children on social media though have privacy settings on... if someone I don't know happens to see a photo of my child on FB, then so what... people see my children all the time when we're out and about!


avamiah · 06/07/2017 00:12

I agree with you as my 7 year old daughter goes to dancing and Judo and Gymnastics just to name a few of her clubs and they do performances/competitions all the time .
I don't have a problem with her photos being put on the clubs website when she has won a judo competion or has done really well in a dance performance.
Why should I ?


GreenTulips · 06/07/2017 07:40

A bit paranoid

I'll let my 14 year old know - thanks


islandsandshores · 06/07/2017 07:46

Green I think the problem there is the stalking not the photos per se.


moggle · 06/07/2017 07:50

My brother feels the same as you re his 18mo whereas I put the odd photo of my 2yo up. It's fine either way but DB sends photos to me by iMessage instead and I must say it does get a bit annoying on his days off with her when my phone buzzes every hour with another "adorable" pic of her I must see. She is adorable and I love her to bits but I don't need to see her every hour!


GreenTulips · 06/07/2017 07:50

No - it's the photos -

He writes degrading messages and posts them on social media - he has lots of accounts and it's not just my daughter either - messages that suggest she's sleeping around - having sex with relatives - hangs round on corners etc

ALL her friends can see them - so can the others at school - they then can be shared over and over -

You have no control of who or what others can see

A quick 'screen shot' is all it takes

If a relative tags you or your child and their setting aren't right - then they appear in google - you might want to try it


GreenTulips · 06/07/2017 07:51

Oh and the lies are half way round the world before the truth leaves the house - think about it!


iwannapuppy · 06/07/2017 07:57

We don't put pictures of ds on social media as we believe children deserve some privacy from the world while they grow up. However we have had friends that have taken photos of him and posted them on fb without our consent. I was livid!


islandsandshores · 06/07/2017 08:00

I know green but by that logic, no photo of anyone ever should appear on anything. Many workplaces have a photograph of each member of staff on their website, for instance.

I'm not suggesting anyone should plaster their social media with endless photos but there is a happy medium.


GreenTulips · 06/07/2017 08:04

Yes but you're an adult and you have consent

Children don't -


GreenTulips · 06/07/2017 08:05

And adults have more protection by law -

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