To be seriously worried about DSs (15) unhealthy diet?

[AndieNZ]

My DS seems to be on self destruct with his unhealthy diet.

He has always had a huge appetite and sweet tooth but lately he seems to be doing nothing but gorging on crap.

I always buy healthy foods and cook from scratch at every meal. He has been brought up knowing the facts about nutrition and healthy eating. Without ramming it down his throat, I have tried to steer him in the right direction with limiting unhealthy foods and having the occasional sweet treat.

Exercise - both DH and I love the outdoors and always try and encourage him to do some form of exercise. But he isn't interested at all. He comes home from school and lies on his bed on his Xbox or watching Netflix.

However, over the last two years or so, he seems to have gone on a mission to eat whatever he wants, whenever he wants. He eats massive portions, even though I try to reign it in, and with his own pocket money will buy and gorge on crap such as litres of full sugar pop, chocolate, ice cream, you name it.

In his room at the side of his bed whilst I have been opening/closing his window, I've found mountains of empty wrappers of crisps, cans, empty cartons of Ben and Jerrys, chocolate bar wrappers, luxury muesli bars...basically anything containing a shit loads of calories. He refuses to eat vegetables, salad or fruit. He eats buttered toast ( white bread only) meat, huge bowls of pasta when he comes home from school as a snack (!) and things that are fatty or full of sugar.

I have sat down and asked him why he is treating his body like a rubbish bin but he has told me he doesn't care. He doesn't care that he is gaining weight, doesn't care what anyone thinks. He is sluggish, constantly complaining he is tired, struggling in PE lessons and basically very lazy!

I do not know what he weighs but he is 6 foot 2 and quite solid. His school pants are now 36 inch waist and even those are starting to look tight around the waist.

I am worried sick about his size and his health and I am at a loss at what to do. I am worried he is on a slippery slope to become obese due to his unhealthy attitude.

What can I do??

Sounds like a large percentage of teenagers, especially boys. If you don't believe me, visit a supermarket near a high school just before school or at lunchtime. Dozens of teens queuing up to buy a few quids worth of crap each. I'm sure their parents would like them to buy a chicken salad and water too.

YANBU to be worried about him but unless you are never going to let him out of your sight, I'm not sure what you can do about it.

There's a huge difference between buying a few quids' worth of junk for lunch, though, and piles of wrappers down the side of the bed / never feeling full / stuffing your face with rubbish all day.

The OP's son sounds well into eating-disorder territory to me.

*@annandale
*
He's 15. He's not too young to have a job! Plenty of 15 year olds have paper rounds and such like.

As for my DS, we have a relative who owns a locksmiths shop and he helps out in the back for a few hours on a Saturday.

Worried about the eating disorder comments. Think I need to get back onto the GP.

I stand by it. Yes lots of 15 year olds have jobs but far more don't. if he is not mature enough to cope with having extra money without falling into bad habits yhen he needs more help or to stop paid work for a few months.

@annandale

By having a little part time job, it is paving the way in teaching him good work ethics and teaching him good timekeeping, reliability, responsibility and working as part of a team. By working a few hours on a Saturday is hardly burning the candle at both ends and effecting his schoolwork.

The issue is his bad eating habits and the frustrating self destruct attitude to his health. If I was to somehow take away his own money from him, it would be like placing a sticking plaster over the issue and not actually getting to the root of the problem in the first place, which is what I am trying to do.

But I respect you are entitled to your opinion.

It's hard to know whether he has a "self-destruct attitude to his health" or whether he just loves junk foods. It's not as if that's all he eats so he'll be getting plenty of nutrition. But I'd be uneasy too.

I don't know what to suggest but I would advise you not to go on and on about it to him as it's unlikely to work. If he blames himself for lack of will-power you'll make him feel worse.

Boost his self-esteem, encourage him to cook, make it as easy as possible to make healthy, active choices. Things like running and going to the gym can be very boring. Would he like to do something like martial arts, kayaking, I don't know - something exciting and maybe social?