AIBU to think children should be able to use the toilet in private

[Hicks123]

My DD (age 5) is in tears because she hates using school toilets as they have no locks and other children open the doors while she is in there. This has caused on-going problems with her holding on because she doesn't want to use the toilets. AIBU to think it's reasonable to expect some privacy even if you're only 5? ( The toilets are used by all girls until age 11). I have raised it with the school but they just say children are not allowed to open the doors when others are in there. But they still do it!

YANBU

Ofsted are very hot on privacy around toileting/nappy changes.

I sort of see where the school are coming from. Locks in the infants could be a disaster so all they can do is tell the children not to.

Can your DD pick out who is opening the door? Are they doing it to be mean/for a laugh or are they just trying to ascertain if it's free?

Maybe she could go with a friend and get them to guard the door?

We always used to go with a friend, and they would put their foot under the door too hold it shut for you.

YANBU

The should be able to choose privacy if they want it. At my son's pre-school the children were asked for ideas for the redesign of their toilets so they have one with no door at all (!) because some kids didn't like to be shut in and one with a lock that the kids can use but that the teachers can open if necessary- surely something like that could be put in?

DD is yr1 (6) and found it all a bit distressing. She now goes with another girl and they stand guard for each other.

Are you my mummy??

This exact thing happened to me when I started primary school. Boys would come and open the door on the girls. Don't really remember the stress from the time but do remember the ongoing problems and treatments.

Even now I avoid public toilets at all costs if I can.

From what my mum told me the school eventually agreed to man the toilets at certain times during breaks and I would only go at these times. Not practical I know but better than me waiting all day till I got home.

the girls seem to go with a friend to guard the door. Could you talk to teacher and aks if this is possible, stress the medical problems in holding on

If the children just don't listen, well, then an adult has to accompany your DD and stand guard in front of the door.

But I would also want to see the child who does this punished. At school age, they certainly know this is wrong.

And I do find it very odd that they have no locks on the doors. For kindergarten, sure, that would make sense, but primary school kids are old enough to know how to use the average toilet door lock?

Are they just opening the door because there is no other way to tell if it's occupied or not or is it malicious/misbehaving?

That would make a difference in how I approached the school.

If the first then they need a way for the kids to tell if someone is in there. If the second then there needs to be an adult presence to stop it and consequences for the door opening.

There must be locks that are openable for adults from outside. In fact a pub i was in recently had locks that swiveled from a 12o'clock positon to a 3o'clock position to lock and there was a gap that something could be poked in to push the latch back up again from outside.

Most schools don't have locks on the toilets. Is there not a toilet she could use which is less hectic? Our juniors are not allowed in the year R/1 toilets precisely for this reason, they are so much bigger and scarier. And need bigger toilets

Christ can they not get one of those locks that you get in hospitals, where there's like a groove in the lock outside and you can open it with a coin?

All the school and nursery toilet doors I have ever seen have been kind of half height doors with locks. so kids can't see in but an adult can easily see and reach over to unlock of nessersary.

most schools don't have locks

really?
I would say most school have locks which can easily be opened fomr the outside.