to expect a refund from a mumsnetter when my items dont arrive??

[weeonion]

folks - i dont really like to buy online but took the plunge and bought stuff off a mumsnetter. after a bit of emailing and chasing - she says she posted the items. they never turned up and it was only when i asked about a refund - that she got round to filling a claim form in onlne. i would like a refund but she avoids this question and says i have to wait til she gets a refund before she will give me mine back. what is the norm??

Sorry I don't know the procedure here. I think most people now only buy from known and trusted mn'rs (usually listed on the "feedback" thread), because there does seem to be a tendency for things like this to happen, especially with those who only use the selling part of the boards. TBH I think there are some professional sellers who use MN as a way of avoiding paying Ebay fees.

No she should give you a refund straightaway and then it is up to her to claim the money back

MN isn't ebay - it's basically buying things off a street corner.

If there is no binding contract etc like there is on ebay then I cant see how you can force this person to pay up. If it was a large sum of money then pursue it, if not just let it go and dont buy things like this again. Most people are very honest and genuine though. She may still pay you back.

well i flipping sent my bunny clock to a mumsnetter, told me to give me a £5 for it and whatever the postage stamp said...
she says she has sent a cheque, twice, neither of which turned up.

am still bitter about it and won't be giving away my stuff so cheaply and trusting anyone to send the money again either! Thing is i have her address, she isn't that far away. am tempted to turn up.

Yuk. This is why I avoid the selling threads.

it wasn't even on a selling thread. it was a thread about whether the bunny clock was any good at getting them to sleep later and i was just telling people not to buy it as it was crap!
but she wanted it... so i sold it to her... and she never flipping paid me!

Message withdrawn

I wish people would just name and shame instead of starting annoying cryptic threads.. at least that way it would stop the same people getting away with it again and again

I dont think its a good idea to name and shame as we dont fully know the reasons why this woman hasnt refunded the money. Also it would be awkward for weeonion if this woman really cant afford to pay her until she receives the money herself

thanks for all your comments - i just wanted to check out how others would deal with this.

It is defiently more than a tenner and even though that not seem all that much - it is to me at the moment. I have been the one chasing her about info - if she kept in touch then it wouldnt seem as bad.

i wouldnt name and shame her - not too comfortable with doing that until i give her every opportunity to get me my money.

thanks folks

this thing happended to me on here a while back ... strange I had to name and shame in the end , she told me she sent the items even gave me a PO ref that did'nt exist , told me she had made a claim with PO and when I checked she had'nt , this lady was selling on here alot and on ebay and had done the same thing a few times. I did get my money back in the end but it was just the principle , she sent some horrible abusive emails as well and a lovely note with my refund (not) , nice mumsnetter!! so you have my sympathy. Of course she should give you the money back first she will get the money back from the post office up to £32, your the one out of pocket she has had the money after all.

oh no WO - really difficult. If it was me I would give a refund on the basis that would be mortified that the person didn;t receive it and would chase the post office in my own time. If she has spent your money and genuinely doesn't have it anymore then it isunlikely you are going to get anything until she does get compensation. This is assuming of course she got proof of postage - without it she won;t be able to claim. If she has claimed she should have a reference.

The post office are pretty good at responding to lost claims in my experience.

Could I just add that if two people agree to sell/buy something, that is a binding contract. So, if the item doesn't turn up and she doesn't produce a refund, you could, if you were so minded, issue a claim in the small claims court.

Can you do a name search to see how much she has sold on here? If you know she has a good reputation as a seller, it will reassure you that she's likely to pay the refund in the end.

Doesn't help with the timing of it - as there are no rules about it here, don't know what you can do.

The thing is this is a business deal, so putting financial and emotional issues aside this woman should have planned for this kind of event and had the money to pay you back. If you take something back to a shop you just get a refund and then the shop deals with claiming the money back etc. they dont say 'sorry we're a bit strapped at the moment, wait til we have got the money then you can have it'

But when you buy from someone on here you know they are not running a shop

personally I would refund the money immediately but I am in a position to do so

this woman may be genuine and have no money to pay you - people often are strapped for cash when they sell things

however it sounds like you doubt that she is going to pay up at all, which is another matter entirely

Like freckle said, it is a binding contract, but yes, she may still pay you back. You will just have to keep contacting her until she gets fed up and just pays you back.

bump

Have you still not heard back from her weeonion??

if you havent heard from her, then it may be time to name and shame.

hi folks - i have heard back from her last night but she appears to be unsure of me - in that i could just be anyone and therefore the refund isnt on its way til she gets it from the post office. i findthat a bit strange as i sent my cheque straight away which cashed fine and whil;st i am getting narked of f- ui have tried to be resaonable with her. also - she did say ages ago that she was goign to refund me but now has changed her approach?

i understand that she has moved house recently and money may be tight. i do not want to name and shame as yet- she has said she will email me today and let me know what is happening so i have to trust her on that. i have also recomended that she check out my good rating on ebay.

ah well - bit of a pain really and with the baby due 2morro - its the lsat thing i want to be dealing with.
thanks for getting back tho' folks.
off out to play in the last of the sun!

As I'm sure you know the other person involved has also posted her side of the story on MN. The bottom line is that both of you insist you have acted in good faith but you both feel hard done by. Maybe you should try and sort it out with each other in private?

hi sunny - i agree that it would be best to do this privately but as she didnt reply to emails for quite a while with no explanation- then the only way i had to get in touch with her was via this forum. It has been going on from mid February I should add. Hopefully now that she is back in touch - it can be resolved relatively quickly and to the best interests of all involved.

very pleased folks. heard from my mumsnetter seller this mornign that royal mail have refunded her so mine is now on my way!

glad that it will now be over - it really upset me the other day as i hate to be thought of by anyone as a dodgy character so - pleased that we can resolve it amicably with no naming etc etc.