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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this harassment or am i too soft?

10 replies

user1498470469 · 05/07/2017 11:03

So for the last week or so I've had to deal with Neighbours on both sides of my flat talking crap about me loudly, they don't agree with my lifestyle, but to be fair i live with my mum and we argue quite a bit loudly sometimes and then last night it culminated when I went outside for a cigarette and someone called me a nutter, then when a girl called him out and said "she can hear you" he replied "I don't give a fuck, she is a fucking nutter" bare in mind i have never met this person nor spoken to them and then proceeded to insult me some more this has been repetitive keeping me up at night just total character assassination, saying nasty things when i'm within earshot and then when I've tried to answer back and stand up for myself, they call me a "Paranoid Schizophrenic" I've had this for over a week, they've been making fun of my health, mental health (as i suffer with anxiety) my looks, the fact i still live with my mum, my finances, my job everything.They literally stand outside my window in the communal garden slagging me off loudly all the time, the worst is when i'm on my phone and they actually repeat stuff and make fun, i should point out the walls are really thin, it's driving me mad slowly. They've finally realised i actually have good hearing, even just now one of them slagged me off and when someone mentioned, I could hear them, he said "Good she's horrible"
It's got to the point where where i'm scared to leave my house and have overheard them saying "Oh well she brings it on herself"
Is this harassment or am I am being a baby??

OP posts:
KaosReigns · 05/07/2017 11:09

How often do you loudly argue? I imagine they're rather fed up with it.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 05/07/2017 11:10

No you're not being a baby. This is full on harassment. I mean I don't suppose you can stop people talking in their own homes.
However calling you insulting names
every time you step foot out of your home is not on.
I'm not well up on the what to do next,
though, but. I'll hold your hand until some more clever comes along

MadisonMontgomery · 05/07/2017 11:11

If the walls are really thin & you are arguing with your mother all the time it must be very annoying for them - perhaps they have just has enough.

KaosReigns · 05/07/2017 11:19

You say the walls are thin. I assume when they are slagging you off they are doing so at a regular volume, say one significantly quieter than someone having a loud argument with their mother? If you can hear them then they can hear you and it sounds like you're having a pretty negative impact if they hate you that much.

However, you are right they should be complaining to the council or your landlord rather than passive aggressively complainging to each other.

user1498470469 · 05/07/2017 11:42

@Awwlookatmybabyspider Thank you, i think the worst part was before they realised i had really good hearing they were calling me a paranoid schizophrenic and actually dissecting who i could've got it from and then hearing them say "Oh no her mum's normal, must've been her dad!" I actually have anxiety and this has made it a million times worse. Now they've realised i have good hearing they're worried, have any of them apologised..no they're more concerned i'm gonna go to the police about harassment.

@KaosReigns Yeah you're right and i apologised for that, i'm gonna move soon anyways. We probably about once a month, we're both quite feisty people, we've actually been going through a really hard time and we're at the point where i'm ready to snap.
It's like the whole neighbourhood is against me, walking past my window calling me names, even the garage across the road are constantly slagging me off now i can literally NEVER go into my local anymore, I've actually lost about 4 pounds in a week because i'm not sleeping. Can someone advise me what to do?

OP posts:
user1498470469 · 05/07/2017 11:51

@KaosReigns No they do it to the point where they'll shout across a car park or shout across the road to people in my block of flats, particularly the flat beneath me so i get to hear all the nastiness, it's driving me insane.

OP posts:
MissionItsPossible · 05/07/2017 11:57

Sounds horrible. I don't know an immediate solution but if you are moving soon hopefully you'll be with better neighbours. Good luck x

Tazerface · 05/07/2017 11:59

Are you getting help for your anxiety? I ask because someone shouting insults is either harassing you a ridiculous amount and you should keep a log, make recordings if you can and call the police. Or - and I mean this kindly - the shouting isn't about you at all and it's your anxiety manifesting this way?

KaosReigns · 05/07/2017 13:35

They can hear you talking on the phone and are mimicking you?

What could you possibly have done to make everyone who lives anywhere near you to hate you? I find it quite hard to believe. You say you've never spoken two words to them yet they make fun of your job and health, how do they know so much about you to make fun of?

The idea of an entire neighbourhood of adults calling out insults to each other about one neighbour, loud enough for her to hear seems extreme. Surely your mother must hear it all too, what does she say?

If they don't seem to hate your mother as well then it doesn't sound like it is about the arguments. Why such unanimous and open vitriol? Do you have even the faintest idea?

Morecoffeeurgently · 05/07/2017 13:49

Have you any idea when you will be moving? Is it soon or is it likely to be longer. If you are going to be where you are for longer than a month or so, I think I'd phone the non-emergency phone number to say that your neighbours are harassing you. They might ask you to go and give them a statement or send someone round to take one. If they think your complaint is harrasment (and it does sound to be from a lay persons perspective) they could then issue them with a harrasment notice which if they break the terms of could result in a prosecution. I think that's right. Anyhow there's no harm in ringing the non-emergency number and asking for advice.

You can't issue your entire neighbourhood with a notice I shouldn't imagine so I would focus on your next door neighbour. It sounds horrible.

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