To wonder how other aspies feel about themselves?

[OverTheHammer]

I'm HF aspergers and believe others see me as weird when I try and be sociable as I rattle on about pointless stuff, fixate on irrelevant details and laugh at innapropriate things. Recent example of this was a colleague telling me about how her husband cheated on her, they worked together and everyone knew apart from her. This is obviously awful but she said "I was a bloody laughing stock" - this really tickled me and I couldn't stop laughing 😲 She said "what's funny?" and it made me laugh even more. I don't even know why and I know it makes me look horrible.

Most of the time I'm antisocial and don't try at all - then I look stand offish and snobby. DHs family are very down the earth and I'm pretty sure they think I'm stuck up as I'm quiet and try not to get involved.

I'm caring less as I get older but I'm curious as to how other aspies feel about the way they come across to others?

Just to add, yesterday I did one of those online personality tests (they're shite, I know) and realised I have very little empathy for anyone. One of the questions was "do you worry about those less fortunate than yourself?" And the honest answer was "no".

Another question was "do you have empathy for people struggling in 3rd world countries?" And again, the honest answer was "no".

I know how selfish and nasty this sounds but my brain doesn't seem to stretch that far and I don't know why. If I see an animal suffering I'm in bits (vegetarian for that reason) but other than that - I'm not a nice person am I?

I'm like you, caring less the older I get. Trying hard to fit in when I was younger (pre-diagnosis) didn't work - I kept making cock-ups without realising & everything was hard work - so now I focus on being me. Trying not to be offensive (not always succeeding) when I'm a little blunt or forceful in situations where I get a bit invested, but other than that just accepting myself for what I am. It seems like neurotypicals don't give a toss (generally) over what people think of them so I don't see why I should bother. I am what I am.

My DP has Aspergers. He is less functional than you but in many ways is similar. He often makes comments and gives advice to me that others would interpret as abusive but I know that he is not saying those things to hurt me. He is saying what he thinks and does not have the same filters and self consciousness that others have.If I want to know if something suits me he will tell me the truth!
I consider him to be a lovely person because he never deliberately hurts anyone. He is not manipulative but is genuine and authentic in his responses. It is actually very refreshing for me and some of our friends have said the same thing. His blunt and honest responses are a running joke with our friends but they also know about his diagnosis. Strangers and acquaintances often regard him as rude however, and I have intervened more than once to prevent others being aggressive with him after an altercation.
Reacting as you do is not unkind or trying to hurt others, it is the way that you see the world. You could explain to those you are close to what being Aspie means for you and how it effects your behaviour.

My DP once opened the front door to a charity representative who in frustration ended up asking him 'Don't you care about children with cancer?' To which he responded 'No' and closed the door.
I couldn't stop laughing although my DP could not see why it was funny.

Oh Iris 😂 I hate charity callers! I'm HF enough to know that you don't say "I don't care about your charity" even though it's often running through my head and towards my mouth like Tourettes 😬 In other situations my face just gives me away. I once went clothes shopping with a friend, she came out of the changing room in a skirt and my first impulse was to say "that looks hideous as you're too overweight for it!". I stopped myself and thought "no, that's mean, think of something else" ... I was stood there with a blank expression for ages trying to work out the correct response and eventually she said "are you ok? I take it you don't like it!?" 😩 I've not been clothes shopping with anyone since. That was 10 years ago.

You sound just like me! I have no control over my face at all, my emotions are all over it and I sometimes say the most inappropriate things. If I try to hold back I look stuck-up and aloof but if I go for (what I think is) a jokey, jovial tone I come across as rude and aggressive.

DH was late for our first date so I phoned him and asked in a jokey way, "did you get lost??" - he almost didn't ask for a second date because of it! Apparently I sounded really rude

I have little to no empathy (unless it's for animals) and struggle to feel guilt. I also don't miss people. I enjoy spending short amounts of strictly allotted time with my friends and family but I have to remind myself to contact people, I never miss them.