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AIBU?

Someone's reported me ..I'm terrified

26 replies

user1498051868 · 04/07/2017 17:21

Basically I know who it is,I have always had bad friends but this one I got rid of a year ago after she stole from me.
We still have a mutual friend so she can see what I'm getting up to etc.
I rent through a housing agency and they've said I've abandoned my tenancy and I'm not living there????
I rang the housing office and the woman said ages knocked twice and no answer..I'm a full time carer for my 96 year old gran and I'm out from early morning till late night (which I thought was allowed)
The message I got said if I don't contact her they would contact the benefit agency ..
I called pretty upset ..and explained the situation and said feel free to come round any time but let me know and il get someone to look after my gran...she said that won't be necessary she said people have too much time on their hands.
I said I keep myself to myself and don't know why neighbours.
She said she was pleased I rang her,then I said should I ring the benefits agency and say someone's made a false claim ..she said no,and that she hasn't rang them..
I feel guilty like she thinks bad of me or that I'm lying...
I think my ex friend has seen that I'm enjoying my life and this is her way of getting me back plus her sister lives opposite me...
I'm worried sick

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Sunshinegirls · 04/07/2017 17:25

You've not done anything wrong. You needn't worry. Your ex friend is an arse.

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user1498051868 · 04/07/2017 17:36

I've decorated my place lovely and spent a fortune on it..who would do that if I didn't live there....
Do you think they won't do anything Else?

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LogicalPsycho · 04/07/2017 17:38

If not being in the house from morning til night means you're in violation of a tenancy, I'm surprised half the country isn't homeless Grin

Don't worry, of course you're doing nothing wrong.

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regularbutpanickingabit · 04/07/2017 17:38

Sounds like they have already written it off as a malicious complaint. don't stress about it any more and be very proud of yourself for getting rid of such a hideous 'friend!'

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user1498051868 · 04/07/2017 17:43

The housing officer was actually nice at the end of the call and she said people never notice people dumping rubbish but have time to make accusations.
I even said twice feel free to come around and you would see I deffo live there.
When I got the flat it was a total scruffy dump and it's lovely now.
I know it was her obviously I can't prove it but I don't know anyone that nasty

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Justhadmyhaircut · 04/07/2017 17:54

Could you speak to the council about getting some help for your gran? Sounds like you are run ragged. .

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user1496273889 · 04/07/2017 17:55

If the lady said it is okay then it is okay, unless you are really somewhere else and keeping this as security...

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user1498051868 · 04/07/2017 17:59

I wish I did have somewhere else to go lol
The area isn't the best and I don't really like any of my neighbours.
I don't speak to them ..maybe they think I'm a snob

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Ceto · 04/07/2017 18:01

You should just write to them to confirm what you have told them.

Justhad is right, it shouldn't be left to you look after your gran so much. Contact social services and ask for an urgent care assessment.

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KimmySchmidt1 · 04/07/2017 18:01

all sounds fine to me. If you are worried then make a contemporaneous hand written note of the date and approximate time of the call and what was said. keep it safe and then if anything comes up again you can draw on that note as evidence - that sort of thing holds a lot of water.

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Nanna50 · 04/07/2017 18:04

The fact you have rang will have resolved it, the housing just have to check you live there and its only when they get no response after sending letters, door knocking and leaving a card that they are compelled to take action.

The first course of action is often to notify the tenant that they will tell housing benefit you are not there and stop any housing benefit. (if you are receiving any) It's just a method to get the attention of tenants and ensure contact if they do still live there.

Don't worry about the housing, unfortunately there are some nasty people who just like to cause upset.

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Nanna50 · 04/07/2017 18:05

Oh and I agree you should look into getting some help... although I do know that some elderly people don't want any one else.

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user1498051868 · 04/07/2017 18:07

I'm so annoyed with myself because she said she popped a card in a month ago but I'm assuming I picked it up with other junk mail and thrown it away...I normally only check for important letters.
I've got nothing to hide so I'm going to stop worrying.
Yeah it's tough with my grandmother ,it's a lot on my plate,I'm seeing a mental health nurse about my issues..this hasn't helped.

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User02 · 04/07/2017 18:08

If you get Carers Allowance for your Dgran you could show that to Housing Lady. Get a Care Assessment done by the council for Dgran and a Carers Assessment for you. Plenty proof then and not only does it keep you right it could also get you some help and some extra money. The extra money might affect any Housing Benefit.
One of my neighbours thought I was using my house as a "Giro Drop" because they never saw me or heard me. I own the house so no benefit situation. My neighbour was not the type to make such a complaint. It is easily assumed but folks need to learn to mind their own business. Ideally they could try being a bit of a help to carers.

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ThatsNotMyMarmot · 04/07/2017 18:14

Make sure you look especially happy and jaunty as you leave and return to your home over the next few weeks OP. Someone is bound to be watching and it will get right up their nose Grin

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Sugarpiehoneyeye · 04/07/2017 18:15

Don't worry now Sweet, you've done what you needed to do. Great advice from the poster above. Try and get some help with your Gran, there'll be some out there. Above all, take care of yourself, we are always here to support you. πŸ™‹πŸΌπŸ’

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user1498051868 · 04/07/2017 18:23

I'm going to skip home with my tesco bags ,might start blasting my music and if someone complains il say well I don't live there do I ;-)

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Gemini69 · 04/07/2017 18:25

it could have been one of your neighbours... not seeing you around at all... and as you say.. your gone from morning to night... it could look like an abuse of a property someone else could be using...

get those timer plugs for your lamps etc.. helps let people know there's someone around x

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user1498051868 · 04/07/2017 18:33

The area I live is full of druggies etc so I struggle to think they would give a damn about me.
But I'm not going to let that worry me ..I'm home from 7pm and leave at 7/8 am so not exactly at my nanas all the time.

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MissionItsPossible · 04/07/2017 18:46

it could have been one of your neighbours... not seeing you around at all... and as you say.. your gone from morning to night... it could look like an abuse of a property someone else could be using... get those timer plugs for your lamps etc.. helps let people know there's someone around x

I completely disagree with this advice! Who cares what nosy neighbours and malicious ex friends think! Why should OP waste money on electricity putting timer lamps around their house because other people may get the wrong end of the stick. They shouldn't have to help anybody know there's a person around as it's none of their bloody business! (Although from a practical point of view if you live in a not so good area this may actually turn out to be some sound advice to keep druggies from potentially breaking in).

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user1498051868 · 04/07/2017 19:33

I've got my tv up extra loud tonight (not that I should have to do that ) but anyway I've poured a glass of wine so I'm feeling better.
How do people cope when they actually do break the law ..I do everything by the book and still feel guilty πŸ™ˆ

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Gemini69 · 04/07/2017 23:51

if the area is so druggies etc... they might break into your place assuming it is empty... hence lamps on timers... or is crime not an issue OP xx

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Awwlookatmybabyspider · 04/07/2017 23:59

What, because they knocked twice and you weren't in. Its been decided you don't live there.Confused
You naughty thing. How dare you have a life.

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Italiangreyhound · 05/07/2017 00:27

It's OK. You have done nothing wrong. You sound like you work yourself to death. No idea what your evil ex friend hoped to achieve. Do not give it another thought but get some help with your gran.

Stop worrying, why do all the nice people worry!

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Italiangreyhound · 05/07/2017 00:27

PS I am never at home either!

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