Ex and I split when DS2 was 2 years old. I used to invite him to every open night, award, sporting event etc but he'd always make excuses so I stopped asking him in the end. He's never been to a single event.
The lads (now 16 and 18) go there every other weekend (against their wishes really but when they say they don't want to go, he guilt trips them.)
Anyway in February they turned 16 and 18, went to his house at the weekend as normal and neither received a birthday present. His excuse was that he "didn't know what to get them" but said he would bring them something back from Portugal.
He arrived home from Portugal and needless to say, no presents. He said he couldn't find anything suitable so as soon as they tell him what they want, he'll get them it.
A few weeks later DS2 came home with a new record player and vinyl. DS1 said "where is my present?" to which ex said "you've not told me what you want yet".
So the months have passed and DS1 has asked numerous times for money rather than a present but apparently ex doesn't agree with giving money for birthdays 🤔 It had to be a present.
DS1 had basically given up on it but yesterday his dad messaged him saying he'd got him a present - tickets for him and his girlfriend to go to a "Friends" event in Sheffield. DS1 being a big friends fan was chuffed with this, until he realised he had no way of getting there. He asked ex if he could take him to which ex said he couldn't afford the petrol money. He asked if he could help him out with train fares, ex said no as he couldn't afford it. DS asked "why did you get me it then??" to which his dad admitted that the tickets were originally bought for him and HIS girlfriend but they can no longer go and that's why he's given them to him!!!!
So DS is now begging ME for the travel costs! So yet again I'm left to mop up the mess that HE'S created! I can't really afford to pay them either and if I did, it would cause a row between DH and I who is livid that we're expected to pay towards his dad's "birthday present".
I'm torn between saying no as it's his dad's responsibility to sort out (but this would only upset DS) or just giving in and paying it risking another fall out with DH.
AIBU to be so fucking mad about all this? Useless arse hole.
(Just to add, a few weeks after their birthdays ex was boasting that he'd bought his unborn, currently unconvinced daughter a birthday present for when she turns 16!! He said this to the lads as a clumsy way of telling them they're trying for a baby!)